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Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

deprocrastination.co

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Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#111

Post by hirvi74 »

darkwater wrote: post #22
prometheus76 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's the classic situation of someone without ADHD telling us "just focus!" or "you just need to write things down!" or "you're just lazy". I have ADHD, and I also do not have a sense of smell (lost it in a TBI when I was a teenager). I tell people, "you take for granted what it's like to have a sense of smell. It affects every moment of your day, catching your interest and directing your attention all the time. Imag…

I'm not a medical expert or anything but I guess there is a good chunk of population who just procrastinates or can struggle with focus without having ADHD? Or is there always a 1:1 relationship?

It's a square vs. rectangle kind of thing.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#112

Post by hirvi74 »

corobo wrote: post #38
adadadadadad wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you read the diagnostic criteria that is used, it’s so broad it could easily apply to most of the world’s population…as long as they declare they have trouble focusing.

Many people probably do have the same brain wiring, or maybe it's a low level of background dopamine, or whatever it turns out to be once science figures it out. The reason most of the worlds population isn't diagnosed[0] is that second D: Disorder. No disorder, no problem, no diagnosis. [0] outside of lack of access to mental health resources, not knowing what they're looking for so never getting referred to a place…

I liken it to forgetfulness in old age.

A majority of elderly people see a decline in memory as they age. Not every elderly person who is forgetful necessarily has dementia.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#113

Post by hirvi74 »

LoganDark wrote: post #40
darkwater wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not a medical expert or anything but I guess there is a good chunk of population who just procrastinates or can struggle with focus without having ADHD? Or is there always a 1:1 relationship?

ADHD is a spectrum, so it can have different severities. Some people simply find it more difficult to function well whereas some people find it absolutely and utterly impossible.

> ADHD is a spectrum

When analyzing people what is not a spectrum? Every human attribute can be placed on a spectrum. Even other diseases, disorders, etc.. A broken bone can be a hairline crack or shattered into pieces.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#114

Post by hirvi74 »

alpaca128 wrote: post #91
helboi4 wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I just had my new therapist yesterday telling me "doesn't it feel good to be consistent and achieve things" and I'm like yeah no shit. "so you need to be consistent with something" yeah that's my problem dawg. "what's the feeling you get when you want to quit?" it just happens that my life falls apart or I get really into sth else. does nobody else just lose track of all the bricks required to do things sometimes? "i…

It sounds like your therapist is in the wrong profession. I've interacted with four different ones so far, and while the value I got out of them varied greatly I think none of them would ever say BS like that. > I sure do hope I actually have ADHD I hope whoever tests you is not like the ADHD "specialist" I had to deal with. Knowingly swapped symptoms and cause in the final report for whatever reason, and made terrib…

> It sounds like your therapist is in the wrong profession.

It's like all professions. Most have no business being there. And if Pareto was right, then 20% of the therapist make up for the other 80%.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#115

Post by hirvi74 »

dingnuts wrote: post #84
dartos wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It may be a little weird, but the from us music from brain.fm really helps me. I’ve measured the work I get done over sprints where I listen to brain.fm and where I don’t, and I usually get 2-3 more cards done of weeks that I do. Not a scientific measurement, but it is what it is.

I have ADHD (professionally diagnosed as an adult) and basically cannot focus without music. I complained at work about endpoint management software that was interfering with my music player and was told I didn't need to listen to music while working. I WFH so I just found another way to play music, but it was tempting to point out to my boss (who I otherwise quite like) that he had just told me that I shouldn't be u…

> he had just told me that I shouldn't be using a reasonable accommodation for my disability that costs the company nothing

To suffer from ADHD is to suffer alone.

The world does not care for us and does not care about us. The world would rather attempt to hammer us screws in than try and use a drill.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#116

Post by hirvi74 »

xyzelement wrote: post #26

My first couple of weeks at Bridgewater I was diagnosed with a fear of failure - deep reluctance to set off on a journey unless I could see the entire path through to the other side. I thought that was a good way to be actually (keeps you safe from doomed endeavors) but obviously keeps you from progressing on things where the only way to figure out the path is to walk it. In retrospect it’s a form of anxiety. If you…

> If you assume the world is against you and dangerous then setting into an ambiguous space is probabilistically negative.

I have seen zero evidence that this is not true in my 31 years on this planet.

> If you have faith that things work out for the best, it lets you set out on such a path easier.

As Louis C.K. said:

> "An optimist is somebody who says, 'Maybe something nice will happen?' Why they fuck would anything nice ever happen?"

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#117

Post by slowmovintarget »

darkwater wrote: post #22
prometheus76 wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's the classic situation of someone without ADHD telling us "just focus!" or "you just need to write things down!" or "you're just lazy". I have ADHD, and I also do not have a sense of smell (lost it in a TBI when I was a teenager). I tell people, "you take for granted what it's like to have a sense of smell. It affects every moment of your day, catching your interest and directing your attention all the time. Imag…

I'm not a medical expert or anything but I guess there is a good chunk of population who just procrastinates or can struggle with focus without having ADHD? Or is there always a 1:1 relationship?

Deep breath in... Many people who suffer from ADHD actually have undiagnosed allergies.

My father was told he had ADHD late in life... he had allergies. I had problems with focus and being scatterbrained... on days the tree pollen was up. Kiddo was starting to get easily distracted and unable to focus on schoolwork... It was an allergy to the hard wheat used in U.S. bread making and preservatives.

You [edit: most people] don't just "have ADHD." That's like diagnosing someone with a headache disorder. There's an underlying cause that requires more work to dig out.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#118

Post by _yb2s »

LoganDark wrote: post #40
darkwater wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm not a medical expert or anything but I guess there is a good chunk of population who just procrastinates or can struggle with focus without having ADHD? Or is there always a 1:1 relationship?

ADHD is a spectrum, so it can have different severities. Some people simply find it more difficult to function well whereas some people find it absolutely and utterly impossible.

What spectrum means in this context is that it's a multi-dimensional problem- different levels of severity across a large number of different dimensions. Executive function is typically broken up into a large number of different functions, and people have different levels of each, so a person that functions well in one context might do poorly in another, and vice versa.

Re: Stop postponing things by embracing the mess

#120

Post by brnt »

bloopernova wrote: post #60
bookofjoe wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Memories of my ex-wife admonishing me, while in the throes of a deep, disabling episode of clinical depression, to "Snap out of it!"

I'm sorry that happened to you. The phrase that made my then wife an ex-wife for me was "you're not supposed to be fixing yourself you're supposed to be fixing our marriage!" Led me (with therapy and time) to realize what I meant to her; I was an accessory.

Wut, wild for her to not see how those two are so interlinked that separating them is considered old fashioned nowadays by therapists.
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