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The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

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Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#111

Post by ben_w »

xyzzy4747 wrote: post #94
ben_w wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've just turned 40, and I'm currently childless, but not because that was my goal. Twice wanted to settle down with a woman, but I wasn't her Mr Right. I'm still friends with the second, but she's (metaphorically) married to her activism; she and I split just as I moved to Germany which was itself just before the pandemic. Then I ended up with a boyfriend, but medical tech isn't quite there yet for Mpreg :P

Do you regret having a boyfriend instead of a relationship that biologically can produce children?

No regrets — there's also at least four[0] ways around that off the top of my head, but I think explaining them and how they relate to my life right now would derail the rest of the conversation.

[1] Would be five, but I'm too old for sperm donation.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#112

Post by prmoustache »

the_third_wave wrote: post #107
askonomm wrote: post #59

I don't have nor want/have any desire for kids, yet all the people with kids keep telling me I should, and not having them is selfish (...how? Isn't it the other way around?), and multitude of other reasons why I should definitely have them and that if I don't then I'm somehow a horrible person. What I don't get is why people keep forcing their lifestyle onto those with a different lifestyle? Do they see me having al…

No, it is not the other way around , how could it? Had your parents not had you you would not have been able to voice your opinion on this subject. Were your parents selfish when they did so? If is not a 'lifestyle' thing to have children, rather the opposite: not having children is a 'lack of life' style. If enough people take up this 'lack of life' style your culture will die out and be replaced with one where havi…

> Also, 'they' do not see you having all this free time and get jealous, they notice that you're spending time on hedonistic pursuits while time is running out - there is a set time frame within which having children is a viable proposition. They are not jealous of your free time at all because from their perspective it is wasted time - time which could be spent with your family instead of just by yourself or with your partner.

Yes some are.

This is incredibly inpopular to articulate it out loud but there is a large enough proportion of parents who regret having kids.

And that doesn't mean they don't love their kids.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#113

Post by the_third_wave »

bemusedthrow75 wrote: post #31
Uinchuling wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

"Our very survival" is not threatened and you know it. Pretty sure no wealth-controlling multi-billionaires look like indigenous Bolivians.

They can look like Carlos Slim Helu (#8 on the Forbes list of billionaires), Mukesh Ambani (#9), Zhong Shanshan (#15), Gautam Adani (#24), etc. There is no reason why a wealth-controlling multi-billionaire can not look like a native Bolivian.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#114

Post by prmoustache »

keyle wrote: post #6

I have two kids. It's tough. But this kind of "opinion" column on a large network is just despicable. Kids is the hardest thing to come to life, I call it "life on hard mode". And I've moved across the world. But the gains are immense. You can bend yourself backward your entire career trying to achieve something that is taken away in a whiff. Your children is a richer investment. When you leave this earth, you're lea…

> When you leave this earth, you're leaving something tangible.

I don't think that should be a life goal. It is just a basic reaction to the fear of death.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#115

Post by prmoustache »

DarkNova6 wrote: post #15
wkat4242 wrote: post #3

I can imagine. For me it's the reason also to not want kids. I want to enjoy my life. But it's good for environmental reasons to not have kids anyway.

It's good not to breath for environmental reasons too. In contrast, kids are necessary to stop overaging and the collapse of our society.

OTOH the collapse of our society is probably the best thing that can happen for our environment.

But anyway, if you need active workforce, the solutions is simple: immigration.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#116

Post by prmoustache »

lm28469 wrote: post #67
wkat4242 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not as if less people having kids leads to humanity becoming extinct. We're still growing way too fast. Some people will just want them and that's fine. It's just something that was previously seen as a virtue (or for example for Catholics almost a holy priority) is now becoming a hobby. And if not everyone takes up that hobby we can be sustainable for a lot longer. Even a population decline wouldn't be bad afte…

The west is way bellow replacement rate so feel free to have a few kids, it's not going to change much

Human population is constantly growing. We can import people. Actually a lot of people are willing to join us, no need to breed fresh ones.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#117

Post by drukenemo »

cpursley wrote: post #70
cpursley wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve done all the “lifestyle” stuff as well. We’re not jealous. Kids are an order of magnitude more rewarding.

And here’s the secret: when the kids are a bit older, they can participate in your lifestyle: travel, skiing, instruments, etc.

That’s assuming they will like you what you like.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#118

Post by wkat4242 »

supersrdjan wrote: post #97
wkat4242 wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not as if less people having kids leads to humanity becoming extinct. We're still growing way too fast. Some people will just want them and that's fine. It's just something that was previously seen as a virtue (or for example for Catholics almost a holy priority) is now becoming a hobby. And if not everyone takes up that hobby we can be sustainable for a lot longer. Even a population decline wouldn't be bad afte…

Right, I overstated the implication. More people deciding not to have children does not lead to extinction. It's just that when people say things like "not having kids is good for environment" it comes off as a moral prescription that ought to apply to everyone, and hence those who violate it are the bad guys (selfishly acting to harm the environment). And yet if sustainability -- rather than self-extinction -- is th…

I didn't mean any moral objection, just to explain why I feel extra good about my decision not to have any kids.

In fact I really hate moral judgments of people's personal lives, like is being done to the LGBT community in the US at the moment.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#119

Post by nlnn »

psacawa wrote: post #62
menschmanfred wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a selfish thing to do. Nonetheless nothing I condemn. At the end of the day it's harder not to have kids and stop this cycle than not, thanks to evolution.

This is a remarkable inversion. The primary reason people forego children in the west is because it throws a wrench in their comfortable lifestyle. They prefer to live unto themselves, instead of unto children, i.e. selfishly. I believe the environmental/climactic concerns raised by antinatalists are just a feeble deflection. They are primarily interested in personal comfort.

This may be true in many cases, but I know quite a few people that chose not to have kids for other reasons.

For some, these are possible medical complications, e.g. history of heart defects, high risk of childbirth fatality.

For others, its that they had abusive or traumatic childhoods, and either don't feel they'd be up to the task of parenthood, or associate childhood with something so unpleasant that they wouldn't want to inflict it on others.

Re: The New Work-Life Balance: Don't Have Kids

#120

Post by lm28469 »

prmoustache wrote: post #116
lm28469 wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The west is way bellow replacement rate so feel free to have a few kids, it's not going to change much

Human population is constantly growing. We can import people. Actually a lot of people are willing to join us, no need to breed fresh ones.

I don't think you're up to date with current population trends, it's about to peak in the next decades
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