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Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

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Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#111

Post by janalsncm »

chrisco255 wrote: post #42
janalsncm wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It probably shouldn’t go without stating that many separated women couldn’t establish credit on their own or open bank accounts. Banks weren’t required to lend to women until the 70s. My grandmother had this issue after she divorced.

Women could most certainly establish credit and open bank accounts and own real estate, even as far back as the 1800s. My great grandmother raised three children as a widow in the middle of the Great Depression. Being a widow was quite a bit more common in those days as war killed a lot of young, married men with children. And disease took quite a few others. At any rate, she worked a factory job, and owned her own h…

The point is that discrimination against women was widespread enough that it required a federal law against it in the 70s to rectify. That doesn’t mean discrimination always happened or it was impossible to get a loan or open a bank account.

Just like the 1964 civil rights act. It’s not that discrimination against race or sex or religion always happened, but it happened enough.

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#112

Post by [deleted] »

ClassyJacket wrote: post #51
tssva wrote: post #28

When we 1st separated in 2011 my ex-wife and I along with our young daughter stayed in the same house for about a year. It was definitely not the most comfortable of situations but I've had worse living arrangements in my life. After selling the house we both rented town houses. We should have done more communicating about that because we unknowingly ended up renting 2 doors down from each other. That was the living…

My sister lives 4 houses down from our parents and did it on purpose but refuses to speak to them or let them see their granddaughter. Some people do weird shit.

[deleted]

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#113

Post by rokkitmensch »

anotherhue wrote: post #5

New financial instrument idea: Husband-Default-Swap?

Marriage insurance! Pays out in case of breakup. No perverse incentives!

It would be an awesome market though. I wonder if you could reasonably price the risk with a large enough pool.

Tangentially, I pine for the sci-fi world where I could have signed a five year marriage instead of an indeterminate-term one. At 18 I was barely smart enough to avoid the college debt trap. At 23...

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#114

Post by janalsncm »

slymon99 wrote: post #57
threeseed wrote: post #38

> Housing Costs Are So High They left out the "in the trendy, inner city areas we want to live in" part. Because whilst housing prices are rising in cities we are also seeing major declines in populations for smaller towns. And whilst our parents were willing to sacrifice and embrace these towns which in turn became gentrified it doesn't seem current generations feel the same way.

Cities have jobs. Cities have opportunity. Cities have diversity. Why should we expect, encourage, or even desire that young people sacrifice economic and social opportunity and mobility? Why is the response to high housing cost in cities lecturing "current generations" about their choices? There are glaringly obvious problems in many of our cities that make housing so expensive. Is it so outrageous to try to solve t…

Hell it’s not even just trendy neighborhoods that are out of reach. Wages have stagnated while housing prices continue to rise. The upshot is that fewer and fewer people can afford a house no matter where they are.

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#115

Post by janalsncm »

4death4 wrote: post #63
slymon99 wrote: post #57

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cities have jobs. Cities have opportunity. Cities have diversity. Why should we expect, encourage, or even desire that young people sacrifice economic and social opportunity and mobility? Why is the response to high housing cost in cities lecturing "current generations" about their choices? There are glaringly obvious problems in many of our cities that make housing so expensive. Is it so outrageous to try to solve t…

But why do cities have all the opportunity? Most likely because the capital owning class lives in cities and has been systematically draining wealth from more rural areas via globalization and the erosion of workers' rights. I'm not saying young professionals need to concern themselves with such lofty ideals, but I do think it's a valid to question why there are only a few pockets of opportunity left in the country.

Network effects. If you want to hire 5 good software engineers, it’s easier to find them where they already are.

> the capital owning class lives in cities

Cities are desirable places to live, so the capital owning class will buy and develop land there.

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#116

Post by YiraldyGuber »

mplewis wrote: post #92
YiraldyGuber wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[dead]

Diversity means you are allowed to peacefully exist without someone wanting you dead for your identity.

Imagine saying that to the families of the victims in the couple high-profile stabbings in European cities over the last week, where foreign men set out deliberately and explicitly to kill White people.

I moved to a quiet country town, >99% White, and the worst part about it is that my arm is getting tired from waving back to all the lovely strangers who smile and greet me everywhere I go. I really can't imagine any of them wanting to kill me for my identity, which is more than citizens of diverse cities can say.

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#117

Post by ffgjgf1 »

janalsncm wrote: post #111
chrisco255 wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women could most certainly establish credit and open bank accounts and own real estate, even as far back as the 1800s. My great grandmother raised three children as a widow in the middle of the Great Depression. Being a widow was quite a bit more common in those days as war killed a lot of young, married men with children. And disease took quite a few others. At any rate, she worked a factory job, and owned her own h…

The point is that discrimination against women was widespread enough that it required a federal law against it in the 70s to rectify. That doesn’t mean discrimination always happened or it was impossible to get a loan or open a bank account. Just like the 1964 civil rights act. It’s not that discrimination against race or sex or religion always happened, but it happened enough.

Wasn’t the 70s legislation mainly about married women being able to open their own accounts without the consent of their husbands?

I find it hard to believe that there were many banks which refused to open accounts for single women or especially widows?

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#118

Post by egberts1 »

ffgjgf1 wrote: post #117
janalsncm wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The point is that discrimination against women was widespread enough that it required a federal law against it in the 70s to rectify. That doesn’t mean discrimination always happened or it was impossible to get a loan or open a bank account. Just like the 1964 civil rights act. It’s not that discrimination against race or sex or religion always happened, but it happened enough.

Wasn’t the 70s legislation mainly about married women being able to open their own accounts without the consent of their husbands? I find it hard to believe that there were many banks which refused to open accounts for single women or especially widows?

Wells Fargo, First Interstate Bank, NationsBank, Penn Square Bank, Pacific Capital Bancorp, to name a few.

Source: my divorced single-mom grandmother and her incessant complaints about them.

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#119

Post by ddmf »

Ex and I tried it until we were at a point we could sell, but then things got worse and I moved out after about 3 months.

It's really tough when you add conflicting emotions and that feeling of limbo into day to day living - especially when there are now blurred lines of how you used to interact vs how you should interact.

Re: Housing costs are so high that divorced couples are still living together

#120

Post by tonyedgecombe »

climb_stealth wrote: post #79
tssva wrote: post #28

When we 1st separated in 2011 my ex-wife and I along with our young daughter stayed in the same house for about a year. It was definitely not the most comfortable of situations but I've had worse living arrangements in my life. After selling the house we both rented town houses. We should have done more communicating about that because we unknowingly ended up renting 2 doors down from each other. That was the living…

What gets me is that this wasn't even your worst living arrangement. I hope things have been moving up for you since.

It could work well for some people.

One of my father's cousins swapped wives with his best friend. They were quite amicable about it and continued to be friends including going on holiday together.

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