[flagged]
Stop making every conversation about yourself
111–120 of 160 posts
Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#112Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#113Earlier quoted context omitted.
I relate very much to this. I have autism and in-person social interactions have been challenging at times to understand. So, I became a student of the human social experience and read a bunch of books about how to speak human, which I think indeed sometimes were more for extroverts. I have been learning how to gracefully interrupt, how to start conversations, how to have an opinion that is different from the others…
How do you measure success with something so subjective?
Why do you want to measure it? If you feel you are improving, that's good enough in personal life.
Also, sometimes, the improvement is just so great (or paraphrased, the baseline is so low), that you don't need scientific rigor to see that things got better.
Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#114Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#115There is a balance to this. If you always only listen to others and never speak about yourself, you fail to build connections with them (because they know nothing about you). I had the opposite problem, I made every conversation about them and had to learn to change that in order to be able to make friends.
> If you always only listen to others and never speak about yourself
I think there's a big middle between this and "always making conversations about yourself".
Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#116I often look back at a comment I've written or email I've sent, and am annoyed at the number of paragraphs that start with "I ...". This one included! I think it looks odd when it's every single paragraph, so in extreme cases I will try to rewrite some of those sentences. With this metric in mind and considering the topic of the article, I think this comment section makes for an ironic and amusing skim. Although I gu…
The flip side of this is that at least you make the "I" explicit instead of overgeneralizing yourself. Counterintuitively, rewriting that into a version with less "I" could actually make it more egocentric (:
Indeed - I see "a lot of people think that " in low quality political interviews. It's always fun when the interviewee just asks, "What people?"
Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#117Earlier quoted context omitted.
Some women like skinny guys. Most women like muscular guys who can make them feel protected.
I'm sorry but that's just sexist nonsense based more in male fantasy than any actual research amongst women.
There's been tons of studies confirming what I wrote. In some studies, 100% of the women chose the muscular body type over the skinny type for an ideal male body.
But yes, let's ignore all the research and basic instinct because you want to be politically correct.
Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#118I always hate these kind of conversation advice/social advice blog post things because the reality is that you can be an excellent conversationalist and make friends with everyone with all different conversational styles. I have friends that talk about themselves 75% of the conversation but nobody gives a shit because they’re interesting/funny/unusual/whatever and people like to be entertained. Similarly I have frien…
If you do not want to see articles like this on HN, you can always flag it to seek moderator attention.
The author aksh7i seems to be using HN purely for self promotion who posts self-help (and dare I say, offtopic) stuff like this. Their last post was flagged too: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37963914 And in the first comment in that flagged article, they were made aware of their inappropriate and blatant self-promotional behavior:
> OP, every single one of your submissions is a blog post of your own, and every single one of your comments is a non sequitur on one of those submissions, apparently in an attempt to boost it. Get that kind of drivel off HN.
> Also, this particular article is nearly 100% insight-free, rehashed, productivity influencer pablum.
They choose to continue spamming HN regardless.
Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#119I always hate these kind of conversation advice/social advice blog post things because the reality is that you can be an excellent conversationalist and make friends with everyone with all different conversational styles. I have friends that talk about themselves 75% of the conversation but nobody gives a shit because they’re interesting/funny/unusual/whatever and people like to be entertained. Similarly I have frien…
certain personality types don’t just talk about themselves but rather lack awareness of others and don’t know how to read the room, as you suggest they should. Really, these people are unlikely to change, much less realize they are bothering anyone or appear selfish. And indeed, trying to follow a set of rules laid out on the internet would just shine a light on it.
Re: Stop making every conversation about yourself
#120Earlier quoted context omitted.
How do you measure success with something so subjective?
Why do you want to measure it? If you feel you are improving, that's good enough in personal life. Also, sometimes, the improvement is just so great (or paraphrased, the baseline is so low), that you don't need scientific rigor to see that things got better.
It seems that a subjective state of mind isn't a great way to tell if you are inconviencing others.
For example, an individual can feel great while being social on a narcotic, all while hurting others around them and being completely oblivious to it.