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The Never Married, a New Normal
111–120 of 450 posts
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#112Talk like this in the USA tends to equivocate between marriage (a legally sanctioned social and economic union) and marriage (a Christian sacrament, usually grudgingly including other major religions). IIRC the second kind of marriage has been in decline in the USA for decades because participation in organized religion is in decline and some states made it hard to get the legal status called marriage without involving a church. In most places there are other legal forms of sexual and social partnership such as common-law relationships in former British colonies.
I have trouble taking anything in this genre by an American seriously unless it clearly communicates the definitions it is using.
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#113The current legal institution of marriage is also not a great option for anyone who is polyamorous, which is gradually becoming more widely accepted and acknowledged. The law only recognizes one pairing, meaning you have to decide which one of your partners gets very literal special extra rights. Picking which of your partners gets guaranteed visitation rights and immunity to compelled testimony against you is incred…
Polyamory is at best a rounding error in all relationships of any sort. The vast majority of people are monogamous, serially or otherwise. I've seen quite a few poly relationships: when they weren't shallow excuses for openly having multiple concurrent sex partners (which I found amusing: just call yourselves single/casually dating--that's what that is, not a poly-relationship, and there's nothing wrong with it), they were tension-filled drama-fests because invariably one pairing in the group formed a stronger bond than the others.
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#114The underlying Pew research study has a lot more meat than this pretty thin blog post: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-...
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#115I wonder if it relates to the decline in fertility in the last few decades. Is having kids a motivation for marriage? Could it be the other way around?
I think it has more to do with the decline in religiosity in the US. Why get married? Typically there’s a wedding. That’s a ceremony involving you, your partner, both partners’ family and friends, and a religious and/or civic authority. You’re throwing a big party saying “we are committed to each other”. When you’re very religious, this is required to become partnered and accepted as an adult in the community. When y…
I commend you for writing the first comment I can relate to! Unmarried* and been w/my partner for 10 years. (not counting common law marriage, aka state deciding after >4 years of cohabitation we are by default married, which would apply now)
This is the real logic that explains why we never got married. Why spend the money on it? People here say 'think about the people in your life' - but for me, that gets a shoulder shrug. I'd see my parents the same amount, I see other relatives an appropriate amount, I see my friends when I want; frankly I'd rather save the money and spare myself the hassle.
Now you could say "you could go to the courthouse" but, again, shoulder shrug. We could also not, which takes less effort.
So we never got married. Simple as that.
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#116Earlier quoted context omitted.
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Every week 2 hours at a local organization. There are other ways in which i give back to my family and my community, which i don't intend to discuss here. Further, on this point, i do not need to justify these to you or any internet stranger. Who are you to police others and their morality? I never said what gender i was or what gender i was interested in. I do know that i would probably earn a higher salary than my…
I’m pretty pro family but I have to admit you just absolutely smoked ‘em
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#117[flagged]
you can’t even come up with a couple rational reasons one might settle into a long term partnership and have children?
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#118[flagged]
Have you ever heard of “fun” and “love” ?
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#119Talk like this in the USA tends to equivocate between marriage (a legally sanctioned social and economic union) and marriage (a Christian sacrament, usually grudgingly including other major religions). IIRC the second kind of marriage has been in decline in the USA for decades because participation in organized religion is in decline and some states made it hard to get the legal status called marriage without involvi…
There is no state in the US that does not recognize a marriage by a judge or self-certified "minister" of no particular religious affiliation. There's also no requirement to be married in one's state of residence, or even country. It's absolutely trivial to arrange the legal status of marriage.
Re: The Never Married, a New Normal
#120Earlier quoted context omitted.
Alimony is essential in cultures and marriages where one person gets to make a career for themselves and the other does the household chores, takes care of the children, and so forth. It's also essential in places where having a child severely decreases your chances of making a career for yourself. Think places where there's no guaranteed parental leave, or where there's only one parent who gets parental leave (makin…
"Alimony is essential in cultures and marriages where one person gets to make a career for themselves and the other does the household chores, takes care of the children, and so forth." There are many cultures in the US. They way you describe it seems very old fashioned, which is not that common these days. I'd rather see alimony removed. If you do that, people will choose arrangements that better suit them. If you l…
>There are many cultures in the US. They way you describe it seems very old fashioned, which is not that common these days.
I think single income households will make a comeback. Increasingly, domestic work, such as childcare, cooking, cleaning, etc., is so expensive that you'd need to make an above average wage just to afford it. A lot of the work is low "productivity" and does not lend itself to automation.