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Why are so many young men single and sexless?

psychologytoday.com

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Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes,part of the explanation is probably that women mature a bit earlier than men (in terms of romantic and sexual attractivity).

So 20-30 year old men are too immature for women to be interested in them? But women of the same age aren't? So should we keep you'd men out of the work force and out of the general population because they're too immature to interact with more reasoned beings? Do you really think that?

No of course I don't think that.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#112
post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then older single women should be more common than older single men. Damn, it's so tough for the older women out there in the cutthroat dating world. Why don't young single men start dating older women?

This reads like sarcasm, but I don’t really understand it. Is the cutthroat dating world not tough for the older single women out there?

The irony is that nobody complains young guys are too picky to date old women. But the subtext I'm reading in many comments here is that young women are too picky to date young guys.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#113
post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's them who want something so it's on them to change. Do they want something? Nowhere in the article is there any survey of men in this age group showing a desire for something different . Instead the author states their opinion that men in the age group should want something else and change to get it. When a woman figures out she doesn't need a man or a relationship to be happy and successful it is considered an…

If the men are happy with the situation, then no, they don't need to change. Are they happy with the situation? The "incel" movement leads me to say no (at least for a number of men). But it's not that simple. There are a number of women who aren't happy with waiting until nearly 30 either. But what there seems to be is a mismatch between supply and demand. And in every case where the demand exceeds the supply, the p…

>There are a number of women who aren't happy with waiting until nearly 30 either

It's natural that the relationship window for men closes slower than for women. A man intending to start a family can comfortably have his first child in his 40s or even 50s. A woman has to move into position within 10-15 years of adulthood or risk massive possible complications for her and the children.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#114

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then older single women should be more common than older single men. Damn, it's so tough for the older women out there in the cutthroat dating world. Why don't young single men start dating older women?

Most women are looking for a partner of equal or higher standing, and sex isn't a primary concern. A 20yo man has little to offer to a 40yo woman besides being close to his peak fitness, which she cares little for.

In the reverse, a 40yo woman has little to offer a young or old man looking for a serious relationship that will eventually lead to having children.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#116

The article comes off as slightly condescending; even as I'm 32 and just above the "Young men" threshold ( Some of the thing mentioned, such as young women not looking for emotional attachment as much might be true, but what about >30 women? My early 20s, online dating era romantic life was miserable; it made me feel completely worthless and that's a sentiment A LOT of young men get from those dating apps. I simply g…

Yes,part of the explanation is probably that women mature a bit earlier than men (in terms of romantic and sexual attractivity).

The fact that women mature earlier is one element, the fact that they seek qualities that men acquire later (stability, resources) is another.

But I think that what makes the situation very sad is that our western society has decided to close its eyes to the intrinsic value of women's virtue in the eyes of men. When a young man can't find an interested partner during his younger years and then he is supposed to either fall back on the women over 30 who are left or play on his newly acquired skills as a thirty year old to seduce a woman 10 years younger. In the end, everyone is sad, there are fewer children, society is less virtuous, women change partners throughout their lives, while men wonder if there is any marryable woman left around them.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most women are looking for a partner of equal or higher standing, and sex isn't a primary concern. A 20yo man has little to offer to a 40yo woman besides being close to his peak fitness, which she cares little for.

In the reverse, a 40yo woman has little to offer a young or old man looking for a serious relationship that will eventually lead to having children.

Certainly, but if 60% of men < 30 aren't having sex, I'm not sure they'd reject a 40yo woman's advances just because she might be too old to have children.

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#118
post #16

I mean one sure way not to have sex with someone else is to never expose yourself to situations that could lead to such a thing. As an educator I have to say that over my career there was a noticable shift in how students behave. The students I have today are more shy, more careful and more risk averse than students 4 years ago. I could imagine that many of them would just decide to not bother at all until luck falls…

Maybe students are more shy and more careful because everyone around them has a video camera in their pocket.

And highly developed, must-participate-in social media sites. Cameras ain't jack if there isn't a way to share the footage.

Then there is a Me-Too thing, which has led to a lot of younger women being very sensitive about real or perceived aggressions from men. Perhaps justified, but now it means a small misstep or failure to walk the line can be costly in a social sense.

Young dude doesn't really know how to interact with girls so he comes off too strong and ends up being called a creeper on Insta and shunned for a few years. Why take the risk when onlyfans is cheap?

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#119
post #61
post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A recent example is Leonardo DiCaprio and his new partner have upset a few women on Reddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/10w8fv2/th...

They claim the relationship is predatory which is exactly what I wrote.

> I have never seen the "I would date that guy but he dates younger girls" thing.

Reading between the lines, I think many women would want to date Leo, but he dates younger girls.

> a general red flag for "that dude is looking to take advantage of you"

Flags fly both directions: Young people take advantage of an older person in dating (see sugar babies, mail order brides, or a model taking advantage of Leo's $300m lifestyle).

Re: Why are so many young men single and sexless?

#120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree. We've had sex toys and prostitutes for thousands of years. Blaming porn is a weak band-aid on a deeper cut.

Prostitution is high risk and expensive. Porn is zero risk and basically free because we all have Internet access already. Porn is not the problem but it is a serious crutch for those unwilling to address the actual problem, which is generations of teaching men and boys that intimacy isn't important. I have male friends I hug and cry with. I have deep feelings of loss for my pet pig, who challenged my world view on "…

> Prostitution is high risk and expensive

Only where it is illegal. Plenty of legal countries with rules & regs regarding behavior, STD testing, protection, etc.

> I have male friends I hug and cry with. I have deep feelings of loss for my pet pig, who challenged my world view on "love animals" and made me rethink how and what I eat. I have a successful marriage with a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful women because I'm not afraid of emotional and psychological intimacy.

Cool story bro

> What sex toys exist for men that aren't just gross receptacles for semen? (I'm not into butt stuff, personally.)

why did you feel a need to include this, esp the part in parentheses?

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