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That's pretty good writing from the author. Don't advice people about things you might not be sure about.
I've suffered a breakdown as well, not a secret one.
Went wandering, got in some trouble, lost well job in tech, ended up in a hospital. Took me couple of years to recover from and one could say I'm still recovering.
I went and sought help right after. Found decent psychiatrist/therapist with whom I could discuss the experience.
Also my friends and my siblings came through, helped to rescue me and recover for which I"m forever grateful.
Years later, I'm in different stage of my life and every now and then I think about what my therapist told me at the time:
It was a breakthrough not a breakdown
Sometimes this can be a sign you need to put more energy into the spiritual side of your life. Many people find faith important to their mental well being. As society has abandoned its religious foundation, mental illness has increased. Perhaps psychosis is the mind’s way of saying, there’s more to all this.
Counterpoint: some might consider a lot of the aspects of many faiths as exacerbating to a mental health disorder. Plenty of mental health issues center around faith and specific religions, even. I think society is at a net positive for leaving "faith" behind, but spirituality can exist in the absence of any specific religion [0]. [0] https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2020/01/13/spirituality-kris...
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is it a common metaphor?
I know I'm being overly sensitive but I'm baffled at the downvotes on my post asking for clarification :/
I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…
As an allegory. I've on occasion been in very cold water (cutting ropes from propellors of boats and stand-up paddle boarding). While my core body temperature is still below normal, I've found myself incapable of going back into the cold water, like my body physically refuses. The mind works to protect itself, and perhaps that's what its doing with regards to work - trying to protect you from further damaging yoursel…
I've just become completely lethargic lately. And there's some sort of mental block stopping me from working. It's kinda insane because I can work on other stuff, but as soon as there's a simple task for my employer my mind just wanders off. And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit. I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected…
This coincided with a couple physical traumas I experienced during COVID. I went to an ENT doctor because I thought I had sudden hearing loss in one ear. She prescribed a high-dose steroid for a couple weeks. She then conducted a hearing exam a few days into it and said I didn’t have hearing loss and she didn’t see a need for me to continue the steroid. It didn’t sound like a big deal if I did continue, so I did but I later learned they are extremely serious after I suddenly developed tinnitus. This obviously exacerbated my frustrations and depressive feelings. Secondly, I went to a dermatologist for acne scars. He prescribed a laser that he burned my entire face with, and above everything else this is the worst experience of my life.
It’s been a bit over two years I’ve been dealing with all this. A lot of times I wish for an end. I am not a direct casualty of COVID, but I do feel like it brought about the conditions that made it clear I was never going to survive in this world without family support. It just happened to be COVID that showed this, but any other adversity that came my way would have likely done the same. I have also been delving deeper into my psyche and discovered I fit various diagnoses for things like autism, ADHD, bipolar disorder, body dysmorphia, highly sensitive personality, and so on. I don’t know how much of these are nature vs nurture given my extensive trauma, but to answer your question, yes, I’ve lost my marbles and I don’t know if I’ll ever find them given the absolute clusterfuck I’m in.
(CW OCD) Twice in my life I've become helplessly obsessed with a given topic to the point that nearly everything I saw, heard, or thought about would build a new association back to the topic, forming a feedback loop. The first time it lasted a year. No one could tell because I was just acting like a weird teenager to them, but it was hugely debilitating. I couldn't get off the ride. The second time, maybe fifteen ye…
Interesting. What condition was this? Its psychology intrigues me.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not OP, but perhaps the regret is about putting too much pressure on themselves, not the aftermath. We owe it to our loved ones as much as to ourselves to keep a healthy balance in the things we do.
There is that, but I also don’t feel like “I was crazy” entirely absolves me. I could have made some better decisions for sure.