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Quitting the rat race

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Re: Quitting the rat race

#111

Post by nicolas_ »

BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been even. It doesn't mean everything in my life is perfect, far from it, but that money is a huge help.

Doubling my salary and being paid what I am worth by doing what I wanted to do brought me a peace of mind I never had in the last five years (since I immigrated to a new country). I do not have to worry about so many things anymore, it's truly amazing and liberating. I can focus on what truly matters. I can take risks. I can plan for the future without having to go to the depression realm of looking for a better paying job.

Did I hate the jobs I did before? Some of them, but the money aspect stressed me a thousand times more than the work itself. When you don't like your job and do not have the money, you have to worry about both. When it's only your job, you know what to focus on and if you have enough savings, you can be bold and take risks.

A few years ago, I read this NYT article titled "Your Job Will Never Love You Back" [1] and that tagline is stuck in my head since then. Your work doesn't define you and even your dream work will have boring parts.

I'd suggest to go to therapy to focus and work on yourself. Better days are yet to come!

[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/24/business/your-job-will-ne...

Re: Quitting the rat race

#112

Post by sudoit »

lapcat wrote: post #82
BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

> I think I'm old enough now to confidently say that, yes: Happiness really does start from within. What does age have to do with it? You're one person. It's anecdotal data. I'm old enough now (5 years later) to confidently say that, yes: Quitting my last job really did make me happier.

Same in my case. I quit my first software job because it made me feel so meaningless and depressed. I was immediately happier. I quit my second job because they overworked me. Same result.

I have less money now, but I don’t care. I’m much happier being where I am now.

People underestimate just how much work life affects your entire life.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#113

Post by Loocid »

fsckboy wrote: post #35

You being unhappy in your life does not mean that there is anything wrong with the world. Looking to pin the blame on society at large and other people's choices is a convenient escape from looking at yourself and your own fears, disappointments, choices made, etc. I grew up in a rural place, no mountains but we substituted beaches, marshes, and ocean. When I go back to visit I can't believe how beautiful it is. But,…

>The carbon footprint of the average New Yorker is among the smallest in the world

Where does that come from? I struggle to see how any person living in the first world could be amongst those with the smallest carbon footprint.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#114

Post by flashgordon »

BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

Q for all who are expressing this. A lot of job descriptions today emphasize a passion for "making impact". What is lost on most of us is impact by numbers rather than impact by percentages. Eg being part of a 1000 person your one line fix is experienced by a billion users for a minute a year. Billion sounds sexy doesn't it? Impact by numbers.

How does one frame the other way. Ie I don't care if only a 1000 users experience it, but I'd rather be part of a 10 person team pushing out while features used by 1000 users for hours each day.

I dunno if such roles exist and pay reasonably enough and are sustainable? And how does one politely disregard other kinds of impact in favor of this?

Re: Quitting the rat race

#115

Post by coldtea »

dvt wrote: post #11

I might be a bit harsh, but this is a typical western le bon sauvage misunderstanding about what goes on in the wilderness. I also grew up in the mountains (of Eastern Europe), and I equally despise the eye-rolling fakery and the hustle and bustle of modern day Los Angeles. I love camping, and I surf, and kayak, scuba dive, offroad, and explore. But I don't make the category mistake of thinking the former is somehow…

There are huge swaths of country that are not "the wilderness" and are much closer to Eden than modern declining urban settings...

Re: Quitting the rat race

#116

Post by coldtea »

kashkhan wrote: post #40
dvt wrote: post #11

I might be a bit harsh, but this is a typical western le bon sauvage misunderstanding about what goes on in the wilderness. I also grew up in the mountains (of Eastern Europe), and I equally despise the eye-rolling fakery and the hustle and bustle of modern day Los Angeles. I love camping, and I surf, and kayak, scuba dive, offroad, and explore. But I don't make the category mistake of thinking the former is somehow…

there's a reason humans build cities. The wild is out to kill you. Pretty but deadly.

>there's a reason humans build cities

Yes: historically, the presence of tons of people on "the wild" periphery to grow and sell them their food, so they can live off of them...

Re: Quitting the rat race

#117

Post by trynewideas »

lapcat wrote: post #82
BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

> I think I'm old enough now to confidently say that, yes: Happiness really does start from within. What does age have to do with it? You're one person. It's anecdotal data. I'm old enough now (5 years later) to confidently say that, yes: Quitting my last job really did make me happier.

You can both be right, is the thing.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#118

Post by coldtea »

Waterluvian wrote: post #48
kashkhan wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

there's a reason humans build cities. The wild is out to kill you. Pretty but deadly.

Not disagreeing. But someone once said it differently and it clicked for me: the wild is out to utilize you . We build cities in part to invert that status quo.

If so, then we've failed. Nothing is built to utilize you and make you into a cog, a sucker, and sees you like a wallet, more than the city..

Re: Quitting the rat race

#119

Post by shrimpx »

BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67
BizarreByte wrote: post #8

It’s a short piece, but it resonates with me, specifically this part: > I’m earning the most money I’ve ever made and yet I’m the least fulfilled I’ve ever been. I’m making the most I’ve ever made and I’ve never been less happy and more depressed. I despise being a cog in a huge corporate machine, it’s like the job was designed to be as unappealing as possible. At the same time I can’t get over the fact that I have i…

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

You can certainly improve your happiness incrementally. From little things like getting shoes that fit better to things like moving to a climate that fits you better. Reducing annoyances and distractions.

Yeah in the limit you can't achieve capital-H Happiness with a change in physical circumstance but I don't think that's what's at stake here.

Re: Quitting the rat race

#120

Post by Swizec »

cpsns wrote: post #87
BaseballPhysics wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bluntly, every person I know who's expressed these kinds of sentiments is guilty of the same mistake: externalizing their happiness. They inevitably move, only to find the new place they're in sucks, just in different ways. Or they find another job, but just discover more things they hate there. Or they find a new partner, only to discover a new set of annoyances. The same psychology leads people to think they'll be…

> assuming that happiness is something you can find by simply changing your circumstances. Thankfully I learned years ago this doesn’t work and got past this mindset. Changing circumstances has never significantly improved things for any length of time. > Happiness really does start from within. I’ve also never had any luck with this and am increasingly convinced some people aren’t destined to be happy.

> I’ve also never had any luck with this and am increasingly convinced some people aren’t destined to be happy.

Roughly everyone. Happiness is an unattainable construct designed to sell you more stuff and experiences. It isn’t real.

Contentment, though, now that’s achievable. But it doesn’t get talked about because it doesn’t monetize well.

The Oatmeal has my favorite explanation/take on this: https://theoatmeal.com/comics/unhappy

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