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Chris Seaton has died

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Re: Chris Seaton has died

#111

Post by bluerooibos »

swader999 wrote: post #50
kshahkshah wrote: post #20

My god this is awful. He was brilliant, accomplished, and kind. A few days ago he announced his 'permanent rest' ( https://twitter.com/ChrisGSeaton/status/1599108759183577088 ). I'd thought it meant from the Ruby community and that the replies asking if he needed help were reading too much into the wording.

The outpouring of love in the replies on that thread. It is tough to comprehend how that wasn't enough to prevent this.

Yeah. The guy had what appears to be a pretty great life. Looking through twitter, there's photos of him with his kids and wife.

I just can't comprehend how someone can arrive at the decision to commit suicide, especially when you have a wife and children, and to then tweet about it. The human mind is an odd thing.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#112

Post by bluerooibos »

docdeek wrote: post #6
cinntaile wrote: post #2

https://twitter.com/ChrisGSeaton/status/1599108759183577088 I didn't know him but recognized the name from HN.

The tweet seems to imply this was not an unexpected death on his part. Was he unwell?

I saw photos of him presenting at the Ruby conference just a week ago and he looks pretty healthy.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#113

Post by buffington »

petercooper wrote: post #64
orra wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's a shock, yes, but worth knowing it's a common one. “They can't be dead: I just spoke to them” is a common response to death. Unfortunately, death can be rather sudden.

I find the statistics surrounding death to be quite sobering. I was at an annual event with 1000 other people and for whatever reason got to wondering if everyone would return the next year. Being a nerd, some calculations occurred and it turned out that would be pretty much impossible as at least a few attendees would die (of any cause) before then. It's rather stoic but makes me appreciate things a little more. The…

Losing Ezra hit me pretty hard. He was a founder at Engine Yard, and I was a customer for many years. He landed me as a customer because he came out and met me, and without any sort of discussion about business or anything, he just dove into helping architect a solution. I was sold immediately.

Years later I worked closely with him on helping him get his 3D printer company off the ground. Sadly though, he died right in the middle of a very challenging time for him and his company.

The Ruby community has certainly lost a lot of people like Chris and Jim (yet another selfless giant) and Ezra.

The only consolation I can think of is how many more selfless people are in the Ruby community still. And not just the Ruby community, but so many communities just like it.

It never hurts to reach out to people, even if you think they won't respond. If you appreciate someone, tell them. It doesn't need to be over the top praise (unless it is over-the-top-praise-worthy).

It can be simple. For example, I just sent this to someone who I was thinking about just now: ", thank you for taking the time to patiently respond to comments in the PR I submitted. You helped clear up some confusion that I wasn't even aware I'd introduced when describing . You freed up at least a few hours of my day, which I'm really grateful for."

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#114

Post by Mikeb85 »

throw10920 wrote: post #92
Mikeb85 wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> For learning purposes, anyone knows what was his major cause of frustration? Suicide isn't because of frustration. Everyone has frustrations, most don't kill themselves because of it.

This comment exemplifies a pattern of rather useless comments that I've seen a lot of online recently, that are analogous to "contradiction - stating the opposing case with little or no evidence" on the argument pyramid: when a commentator X states a thing, commentator Y states that that thing isn't true, with no supporting evidence, but more importantly no additional value or elaboration added - just saying "that's…

Fair enough, but most people do know the actual cause... Namely mental illness or depression.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#115

Post by noneeeed »

searls wrote: post #70
sicromoft wrote: post #66

Tenderlove wrote a nice tribute, "In Memory of a Giant": http://tenderlovemaking.com/2022/12/07/in-memory-of-a-giant....

Aaron's post was incredibly touching and inspired me to share this https://blog.testdouble.com/posts/2022-12-07-the-best-kind-o...

That was lovely, and put much more eloquently how I feel about Chris than I've managed myself.

We really have lost an exemplar of how to be a member of a community based on knowledge and learning.

I hope he continues to be an inspiration to people in the Ruby world for many years to come.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#116

Post by Mikeb85 »

tasuki wrote: post #55
brigandish wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Lack of hope is the real killer, that's why it's so important to give a depressed person hope. Not optimism, hope.

> Not optimism, hope. What is the difference?

Optimism is trying to convince yourself things are better than they are, hope is the idea that things can actually get better.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#117

Post by theGnuMe »

entropicdrifter wrote: post #85
theGnuMe wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is very common actually. Phil Stutz (a famous psychiatrist) calls it the Snapshot. Basically the Snapshot is the misbelief that if we achieve certain things we will be happy. It's a form of wishful thinking. Instead you have to focus on and enjoy the journey because basic reality is pain, uncertainty and constant work. There's a Netflix documentary on Stutz (called "Stutz") with Jonah Hill that is quite good alt…

As someone who suffers dysthymia and occasional major depression on top of it, I'll never stop being grateful that I figured this out early on in life. When I was 11, I got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do. A couple years after that point I grew disillusioned with continuing to practice martial arts altogether because I realized that the achievement didn't make me happy. In some ways, it made my depression worse at the t…

That's awesome and you've motivated me to restart piano!

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#118

Post by OJFord »

brigandish wrote: post #34
WhackyIdeas wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But if you have been feeling that way for many years, with non-stop feelings of dread, it’s hard to see things getting any better.

Lack of hope is the real killer, that's why it's so important to give a depressed person hope. Not optimism, hope.

Even that suggests that living life is some kind of 'default' or 'obviously correct' state, that anything else has to supply sufficient reason to deviate from. Why should that be so, really? Just because we are born into it?

To be pithy: why must death justify itself, but not life?

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#119

Post by dctoedt »

Mikeb85 wrote: post #114
throw10920 wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This comment exemplifies a pattern of rather useless comments that I've seen a lot of online recently, that are analogous to "contradiction - stating the opposing case with little or no evidence" on the argument pyramid: when a commentator X states a thing, commentator Y states that that thing isn't true, with no supporting evidence, but more importantly no additional value or elaboration added - just saying "that's…

Fair enough, but most people do know the actual cause... Namely mental illness or depression.

And sadly, we know so ... freaking ... little about how the brain works.

Re: Chris Seaton has died

#120

Post by starkd »

wnolens wrote: post #105
starkd wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a fine line between being honest with your thoughts and indulging in unhelpful solutions as anything other than unhelpful. Life is not about living on the terms you choose. You inherit the terms under which you are to live. Rejecting those terms is indeed cowardly. Being able to adapt is what takes courage. (And I say this with full awareness of my own limitations as well.)

Calling someone a coward is insulting regardless. Let's not put that label on folks near the edge - you have no idea what they dealing with. It might bring you to your knees far earlier.

It's not about putting a label on anyone. It's about making sure it doesn't inadvertently become a model for others. No counselor or friend is going to be there when they are alone and make the decision.
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