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Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

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Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#111

Post by csa »

tarboreus wrote: post #89
hvdijk wrote: post #30

From Tinder's ToS: > Tinder may terminate your account at any time without notice if it believes that you have violated this Agreement. Upon such termination, you will not be entitled to any refund for purchases. > For residents of the Republic of Korea, except in the case [...], we will without delay notify you of the reason for taking the relevant step. They openly say in advance that they'll ban users who they thi…

I'm not single and haven't been fora long time, but my understanding is that if you're single you can't really opt out of these apps, practically speaking. Even the norms around dating, picking people up in bars, etc. are changing because of these apps, so it's harder to find people in the real world. Not impossible, obviously, but getting banned from Tinder is kind of a big deal. (Also all these apps are owned by th…

> my understanding is that if you're single you can't really opt out of these apps, practically speaking.

This is definitely not true.

> Even the norms around dating, picking people up in bars, etc. are changing because of these apps

This is true.

> so it's harder to find people in the real world.

This is sort of true.

By not using a dating app, a single person is relegating themselves to how things were pre-app. Some of those pre-app options are less common now, other new ways are more common.

The apps widened the dating door for certain people, specifically for people who are not particularly keen on getting out and meeting people (probably quite a few folks like that on HN) as well as people who are looking to get married asap[1]. That said, for people who get out and do things, meeting people to date is not difficult at all. Getting banned from Tinder for those folks is, at worst, a loss of a time filler activity (swiping).

I will also add that, of the apps, tinder might be one of the worst in terms of quality match ups.

[1] Apps are also good for highly desirable dates since their pool goes from big to biggest, but those folks aren’t really the topic here since they aren’t short on access to dates with or without an app.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#112

Post by jonnybgood »

polote wrote: post #91
wayoutthere wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a woman, Tinder is fine if you wanna find a fuck buddy and don’t take it seriously. I see a lot of people (men and women) get wrapped up in the swipe game and that’s really not how it works. You can’t take anything that happens on that platform personally. Unfortunately, rule #1 on tinder is “be physically attractive”. If you want tinder to work for you consistently as a man, get your personal hygiene in order and…

> rule #1 on tinder is “be physically attractive” For guys it used to be right, now rule #1 is more "be super attractive" or "be attractive and don't have standard" For girls rule #1 is "be a girl"

What does "super attractive" look like?

> For girls rule #1 is "be a girl"

Not at all. Women can have just as much of a hard time as men, especially for certain ethnicities.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#113

Post by tata71 »

alias_neo wrote: post #107
vmception wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> once you know what goes on under the hood you won't ever feel like touching one of them with a ten foot pole. I love gaming the algorithm to meet hotter* people than I would meet using the apps the most intuitive way. *It's not subjective, there are profiles that attract way more attention and would either: never be shown to you, or you never shown to them.

I've never done online dating, met my wife the old-fashioned way, but, it sounds like you're saying the network is making the choice of who should be matched/together, before they get the chance to decide for themselves? If that's true, how anyone thinks that isn't totally fucked is beyond me. I mean, I'm seriously, deeply concerned by this notion more than the usual privacy, data etc that big tech concerns me with,…

Yes, Tinder swiping is bracketed by implied desirable ness of the profile.

They even tell you when you're "doing well".

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#114

Post by [deleted] »

polote wrote: post #91
wayoutthere wrote: post #77

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a woman, Tinder is fine if you wanna find a fuck buddy and don’t take it seriously. I see a lot of people (men and women) get wrapped up in the swipe game and that’s really not how it works. You can’t take anything that happens on that platform personally. Unfortunately, rule #1 on tinder is “be physically attractive”. If you want tinder to work for you consistently as a man, get your personal hygiene in order and…

> rule #1 on tinder is “be physically attractive” For guys it used to be right, now rule #1 is more "be super attractive" or "be attractive and don't have standard" For girls rule #1 is "be a girl"

[deleted]

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#115

Post by mrep »

kylebyproxy wrote: post #108
jklinger410 wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or it's a lack of enforcement/regulation. You really think Tinder is a monopoly? lol

It has competitors, sure. But what the competitors don't have is user base and mind share. Maybe _de facto_ or _effective_ monopoly is more accurate?

I think you are off base here. I use hinge primarily and occasionally bumble. I haven't opened up tinder in months.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#116

Post by throwawayacc2 »

tarboreus wrote: post #89
hvdijk wrote: post #30

From Tinder's ToS: > Tinder may terminate your account at any time without notice if it believes that you have violated this Agreement. Upon such termination, you will not be entitled to any refund for purchases. > For residents of the Republic of Korea, except in the case [...], we will without delay notify you of the reason for taking the relevant step. They openly say in advance that they'll ban users who they thi…

I'm not single and haven't been fora long time, but my understanding is that if you're single you can't really opt out of these apps, practically speaking. Even the norms around dating, picking people up in bars, etc. are changing because of these apps, so it's harder to find people in the real world. Not impossible, obviously, but getting banned from Tinder is kind of a big deal. (Also all these apps are owned by th…

I don’t think that is correct. I’m in London and have an American girlfriend. We met and got together the good old fashioned way. Getting pissed at a pub together.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#117

Post by tejohnso »

Sosh101 wrote: post #97
polote wrote: post #44

It has always been like that on Tinder. My phone number can't create a new account for example (never receive the confirmation code). That's called shadowban in the case of OP. Bumble started doing the same practices a year ago (which makes sense as they have the same founder) But they are not 100% wrong, Tinder is not here to make people meet each other. They are here to make money and people don't pay because they…

> This has nothing to do with Big tech. If you want to meet people don't use Tinder, that used to work well in the past, it very rarely works now. EDIT: It seems I misunderstood this statement. I read it as "If you want to meet people don't use Tinder, [not using twitter] used to work well in the past, it very rarely works now" I don't understand your reasoning here. You're suggesting that tinder is a vital service f…

> You're suggesting that tinder is a vital service for some aspect of life now(I agree, unfortunately)

Tinder being a "vital service" sounds absurd.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#118

Post by DarylZero »

throwaway90090 wrote: post #99
gentleman11 wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is there a single dating app that doesn’t do that?

No, there isn't. Maybe at the very beginning when people were genuinely entranced by this Internet thing and hadn't figured out the best way to milk loneliness for profit, but now it's all rotten and beyond repair. If you want to meet new people, find yourself new real-life hobbies.

Only a small proportion of people are available. On a dating site it's basically 100%.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#119

Post by overcast »

This exact thing happened to me, one day my long (years) standing account was just banned, and I had recently created a subscription. No repeal, nothing. What I ended up doing, was changing my subscription to a HIGHER tier, which refunds you the difference of the lower tier. Then CANCELLING the now new higher tier, which refunds you the new subscription amount. All through iOS subscription management. Seriously fuck Tinder.

Re: Tinder just permabanned me or the problem with big tech

#120

Post by Sosh101 »

polote wrote: post #102
Sosh101 wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> This has nothing to do with Big tech. If you want to meet people don't use Tinder, that used to work well in the past, it very rarely works now. EDIT: It seems I misunderstood this statement. I read it as "If you want to meet people don't use Tinder, [not using twitter] used to work well in the past, it very rarely works now" I don't understand your reasoning here. You're suggesting that tinder is a vital service f…

Is Bumble big tech ? No, still they have the same tactics than Tinder. I'm not saying there is no problem (I have wrote several article criticizing Match group and the app dating market), I'm just saying this has nothing to do with big Tech. Any dating app (and some do) can do the same as Tinder

I'm not familiar with Bumble (I've never used Tinder either). My point is if you are controlling access to "the market" then a user being excluded could be a real disadvantage, and should be treated with care.
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