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The benefits of staying off social media

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Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#111

Post by Swizec »

munchbunny wrote: post #100
ipdashc wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

I think it's an over-correction around the introversion/extroversion divide. It's true that sometimes I just don't want to be bothered while I'm running errands, but I wouldn't consider someone making small talk, cracking a joke in the elevator, etc. to be some sort of social transgression. As an introvert, chatting or small talk isn't really a chore, and I waste enough of my own time on my own time, so what's a few…

> it should be considered perfectly acceptable to signal that you don't want to stay engaged in a conversation

I learned the perfect trick as a small time person of interest at tech conferences. You say “Okay thanks” and walk away.

At conferences you can even go one better and say “I’m gonna go talk to that other group” and walk away.

Signal intent, leave. Works like a charm.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#113

Post by irrational »

ipdashc wrote: post #90
pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

> Most of us consider (or used to consider; and I'm not even old) that enjoyable.

Eh, I’m 50 years old and don’t really use social media (certainly not Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, twitter, etc.). I don’t even really text other people. But, I don’t agree with your sentiment. I’ve never understood people who want to have small talk with strangers. It is the opposite of enjoyable.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#114

Post by kreeben »

dijit wrote: post #83
shtopointo wrote: post #34

Another day, another person telling you how to live your life... Sorry, but even though we know social media has its downsides, it also has advantages: keeping in touch with friends, socializing, a way to stay up to date with your community, new recipe ideas, exercise ideas, time management ideas, maybe even the occasional envy that someone's success triggers more ambition in you to succeed etc. It's a tool, like any…

"Drugs, if taken properly, are no harm". Correct in theory, but we universally agree that illicit drugs can be damaging to your life. -- even in some cases taking them not seriously enough can cause addiction and serious issues stemming from that. We just need to figure out if Facebook/Twitter/Youtube are paracetamol, codeine, vicodin, cocaine or heroin.

We should also try and figure out why certain, much more damaging drugs than the ones you listed, are permitted while those that you did are not.

>> we universally agree that illicit drugs can be damaging to your life

We absolutely do not.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#115

Post by halfmatthalfcat »

ipdashc wrote: post #90
pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

I grew up in Midwest USA and lived for an extended period of time in NYC. "Small talk" is almost non-existent in NYC where it is very normal to stop on the street in the Midwest and converse with complete strangers.

Just an anecdote for thought.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#116

Post by pjc50 »

handrous wrote: post #77
civilized wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like the challenge for creators is less the "social media Orwellian dystopian hellscape etc" and more that virtually everything you can contribute has been done better by someone else before you.

Vonnegut wrote about this a few times. It seems to have been something that bugged him. The short version of his complaint is that mass media, generally, have wiped out the social value of all kinds of moderate artistic talent—for example, fewer people may learn to plink out some holiday tunes on the family upright for everyone to sing along with, because you can just put on the radio, or Spotify. Live storytelling,…

> Some folks have responded to the problem by digging hard into a niche

Earlier today we had https://www.gwern.net/The-Melancholy-of-Subculture-Society , which I think ties into what you're saying here. And I think yours is a good observation. Day-to-day small scale entertainment has been reduced to zero or even negative value.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#117

Post by vishnugupta »

freebuju wrote: post #63
shtopointo wrote: post #34

Another day, another person telling you how to live your life... Sorry, but even though we know social media has its downsides, it also has advantages: keeping in touch with friends, socializing, a way to stay up to date with your community, new recipe ideas, exercise ideas, time management ideas, maybe even the occasional envy that someone's success triggers more ambition in you to succeed etc. It's a tool, like any…

Are you using social media, correctly, as you put it.. Or. is social media using you? I find that even if you go out of your way to sanitize and make SM useful to your needs. You can't do away with the unhealthy incentives around it and possible potential dopamine addiction.

Speaking of myself, I have been on Twitter for ~10 months. I have created a nice bubble for myself by carefully following serious experts in my topics of interest. I unfollow someone at the first sign of them exhibiting troll behavior (which I define myself).

I can confidently say that I have benefited significantly by way of increasing my knowledge in my interest area and gained a good variety of perspective.

I do agree that there’s always a temptation to go for “likes” and get pulled into some heated debate. But after a while it becomes easier.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#118

Post by pjc50 »

dijit wrote: post #83
shtopointo wrote: post #34

Another day, another person telling you how to live your life... Sorry, but even though we know social media has its downsides, it also has advantages: keeping in touch with friends, socializing, a way to stay up to date with your community, new recipe ideas, exercise ideas, time management ideas, maybe even the occasional envy that someone's success triggers more ambition in you to succeed etc. It's a tool, like any…

"Drugs, if taken properly, are no harm". Correct in theory, but we universally agree that illicit drugs can be damaging to your life. -- even in some cases taking them not seriously enough can cause addiction and serious issues stemming from that. We just need to figure out if Facebook/Twitter/Youtube are paracetamol, codeine, vicodin, cocaine or heroin.

Clearly social media is alcohol: normalised everywhere as the means of socialisation.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#119

Post by jdavis703 »

ipdashc wrote: post #90
pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

Think of it like this. I enjoy community clean up days. But if I had to do it every week it’d feel like a chore.

Communicating is the same. It’s fun in small doses. But then by the time the evening or weekend rolls around the last thing I want is to talk with more people. Which is sad, because I’d really like to have a non-work, real-world social network.

For sure talking in real life is not an attack (exempting folks with mental disabilities). But it’s something to think about. Especially as remote work makes our work relationships even more superficial.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#120

Post by karaterobot »

afavour wrote: post #43

Not to dispute anything the article says, but a reminder: Hacker News is social media too. Which is fine! But I often see comments on here (typically under any article about Facebook) where the poster says they’ve deleted all social media and their life is much better for it, etc etc. No you haven’t because you’re still on here. No problem with that as long as you’re getting value from the time you spend here, but it…

I guess HN is social media, but I don't think it's the kind of social media the article is talking about. There's no social network involved in HN, no identity or personal branding (outside of dang) and the user-generated content is mostly comments on articles generated outside the site. I'm not arguing that it isn't social media, but then I guess the comments section of a blog is also social media by the same definition, and both of those things seem qualitatively different than, say, Facebook or Twitter. It may just be that the category of 'social media' is too broad to use about different things, some of which are more problematic than others.
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