Whats the worst thing that happens if a talk goes poorly? Some loss of approval from peers? Why is this valued at all. It's not like any of those peers would have done it better.
Stepping Back from Speaking
111–120 of 138 posts
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#112I am a person while like to more work and less talk and it sucks me when people who only speak and don't do work as much as I do get more attention.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#113If you fear public speaking, you are in good company, it’s very common.
Speaking is inevitable part of life. Even if you’re not giving large presentations you are speaking every day to smaller groups. If you want to improve how you feel, I highly recommend checking out toastmasters. It helped me get much more comfortable with public speaking. I still get nervous, but it’s manageable.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#114Earlier quoted context omitted.
I too get really anxious when I have to give a presentation or do an interview. Beta blockers like propranolol have been incredible for these moments. I don’t take them every time, and I luckily don’t face these situations very often. I wouldn’t encourage anyone to dedicate their life to a career that they need medication to survive, doesn’t seem like a good trade off to me. But if you find this to be a real negative…
Interesting about the beta blockers - docs mostly seem pretty clueless about this kind of thing and often suggest benzodiazepines (lorazepam, alprazolam, etc.) or SSRIs - neither of which I really want to take given their negative effects.
It's a bit weird -- beta blockers are not technically, from a doctor's perspective, anti-anxiety meds. They suppress the _physical_ symptoms of anxiety, such as increased heart rate. For many people, that seems to have a big impact, and even reduce or eliminate the subjective feeling of anxiety too (specifically when used for performance anxiety; I don't know about other cases.)
I don't think we really have a good understanding of how all this stuff is connected.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#115Earlier quoted context omitted.
Organizing an excellent event is hard. There's fundamental uncertainty about what each presenter will say, and what the audience needs to hear. The best you can do is try to think of a high quality theme, get good abstracts from your speakers, and cobble together an agenda tries to cater to your audience. From there, it's a crap shoot. Don't beat yourself up. You were in a no-win scenario. Honestly, the best option m…
Yes. In the years since I've learned that it is better to go off script. Preparation is so one can react, like a tennis match. After that trial by fire, I've been comfortable before audiences of a thousand multiple times. Once, asked how I became the math consultant for "A Beautiful Mind", I looked out and managed to sell "Every audience is an audience of one". For anxiety, it helps to remember that public speaking i…
> Once, asked how I became the math consultant for "A Beautiful Mind", I looked out and managed to sell "Every audience is an audience of one".
Wait, are you Dave Bayer?
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#116FWIW, these are classic panic attacks. Usually the stressor is obvious, but sometimes it's not and it's something you've left unresolved that your subconscious gets caught up on from time to time. It might not be the talks themselves. It could be anything. If you've never had a panic attack before and start getting these, it literally feels like you're going to die the first time you get one. Then you get used to the…
I have had hundreds of panic attacks in my life.
About a third of the time, it feels like you are dying and there is no rational thought that can save you from that feeling. The rest of the time, it is merely discomfort in comparison.
I also have talked to many people have suffered from panic disorder. There are many different feelings that people experience, some from sweating and palpitations to somatic sensations that are indescribable.
I personally have sensory processing disorder, and for me, having a panic attack is sometimes like taking a hallucinogenic in some regard. There are sensations that I have never felt before that suddenly exist and feel very real. It is nearly impossible to calm down or rationalize the experience.
Overall, I assume there is no calming yourself down when your sympathetic nervous system is in full meltdown. You can't think yourself out of a flood of neurotransmitter release, no more than you could think yourself out of being poisoned.
In my opinion, the advice that people give to each other around panic attacks as being mind over matter is lacking perspective.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#117Earlier quoted context omitted.
I mean this question is the most empathetic way possible, from a curiosity-based perspective, and feel free to tell me to shove off if you don't want to answer it. How do you gain employment in the event you decide you need to leave your current place of employment?
I have no current place of employment. I'm fortunate to be able to live without paid work for a long while. I'm possibly even retired from paid work altogether and not just from interviewing. This has happened a few years earlier than I had thought it would. I'm definitely in the "leanfire" category - I can be retired, but I'm going to have to be pretty frugal. That said, I do occasionally get contract gigs through p…
>I'm possibly even retired from paid work altogether
Well now that's just cheating.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#118FWIW, these are classic panic attacks. Usually the stressor is obvious, but sometimes it's not and it's something you've left unresolved that your subconscious gets caught up on from time to time. It might not be the talks themselves. It could be anything. If you've never had a panic attack before and start getting these, it literally feels like you're going to die the first time you get one. Then you get used to the…
I have had hundreds of panic attacks in my life. About a third of the time, it feels like you are dying and there is no rational thought that can save you from that feeling. The rest of the time, it is merely discomfort in comparison. I also have talked to many people have suffered from panic disorder. There are many different feelings that people experience, some from sweating and palpitations to somatic sensations…
That's wrong, I certainly managed to calm myself down when going through panic attacks. When they first started happening I was very scared, they were like you were about to die. As soon as I knew what they were, just saying to yourself 'this is a panic attack, its ok, it'll pass' over and over stopped it getting out of control.
The trouble with panic attack advice is that most of the advice online is from chronic sufferers who often don't seem to want to be cured.
It is mind over matter for panic attacks. You can say 'this is just a panic attack' and the symptoms go away. Exercise actually works. Eating right works. Cutting out alcohol/caffeine works. Meditation works.
Mine are gone. I occasionally have mild anxiety attacks when stressed, but recognise them for what they are now. But the things that I thought were heart attacks, the massive overwhelming, dread-inducing panic attacks? Gone.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#119I dropped out of my PhD because I could not stand the pressure of having to do talks regularly. Even though I was pretty decent at it (I was told my delivery was fine and clarity was superb), and sometimes felt good ("powerful" for lack of a better word) while on stage, I would worry for months before every presentation, then basically get physically sick for weeks before, and take some weeks more to recover. Then on…
I feel exactly the same! This is why I stopped teaching.
I was always worrying myself sick even before classes with simple content that perfectly fit the time frame.
Re: Stepping Back from Speaking
#120Earlier quoted context omitted.
I have had hundreds of panic attacks in my life. About a third of the time, it feels like you are dying and there is no rational thought that can save you from that feeling. The rest of the time, it is merely discomfort in comparison. I also have talked to many people have suffered from panic disorder. There are many different feelings that people experience, some from sweating and palpitations to somatic sensations…
That's wrong, I certainly managed to calm myself down when going through panic attacks. When they first started happening I was very scared, they were like you were about to die. As soon as I knew what they were, just saying to yourself 'this is a panic attack, its ok, it'll pass' over and over stopped it getting out of control. The trouble with panic attack advice is that most of the advice online is from chronic su…
[deleted]