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Apology

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Re: Apology

#111

Post by boredtofears »

jwcacces wrote: post #19

The only one who can judge the worthiness of this apology is Matthew Butterick himself. As for me, this sounds like the first steps of the self realization process Matthias should go through in an effort to better himself. Let's not judge it to harshly. Rather let's encourage him to keep on walking down that path of self improvement that we all should be on.

> first steps of the self realization process

Every time I see a well written apology letter, I cringe at all the self-actualization rhetoric people respond to it with.

As if they must do more and become some kind of Buddhist monk before true retribution is to be awarded to them.

Re: Apology

#112

Post by tinco »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #89
yellow_lead wrote: post #86

I'm curious why this was flagged. If the discussion yesterday didn't break HN rules, I'm not sure why the response would. I suppose both of them technically fall into "off-topic" discussion though.

Flags are from users. So to some extent it's random personal opinion and unless you identified all individuals who flagged it and asked them why? , you aren't going to actually know, though it is fairly common for someone to give their opinion about why they think it was likely flagged (and sometimes I appreciate their observations and sometimes I'm kind of like "That's just your opinion, man!").

My finger was hovering over the flag button for a while. I was following the discussion and for the first hour or so the comments were of ridiculously low quality. I think of the first 20 comments less than 5 had positive score. I was thinking of flagging it because I just didn't see how any good discussion could form on it. I didn't flag because it seemed like the post itself had relevance.

Re: Apology

#113

Post by [deleted] »

nubb wrote: post #38

I’m so surprised at the vitriol in these comments. He spoke to others about the situation and apologized. What more can a person do?

[deleted]

Re: Apology

#114

Post by DoreenMichele »

tinco wrote: post #112
DoreenMichele wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Flags are from users. So to some extent it's random personal opinion and unless you identified all individuals who flagged it and asked them why? , you aren't going to actually know, though it is fairly common for someone to give their opinion about why they think it was likely flagged (and sometimes I appreciate their observations and sometimes I'm kind of like "That's just your opinion, man!").

My finger was hovering over the flag button for a while. I was following the discussion and for the first hour or so the comments were of ridiculously low quality. I think of the first 20 comments less than 5 had positive score. I was thinking of flagging it because I just didn't see how any good discussion could form on it. I didn't flag because it seemed like the post itself had relevance.

Thank you for your comment.

It's rare for me to flag something. I usually try to leave a good faith comment if it seems worth discussing and the initial comments are sucky.

I'm not saying that's some kind of "right" way to handle it. That's just how I behave -- or try to behave -- and there are myriad factors that influence those choices. I'm just talking here.

Re: Apology

#115

Post by admash »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #103
admash wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I don't think it is appropriate to demand a gift," -- I agree completely, hence the use of the term "request". But I would suggest that rather than making the effort to hinder what may be a genuine attempt at the restoration of a relationship, we should instead seek to help people recognize that forgiveness is voluntary, and that they have every right to decline extending forgiveness if harmed. To use your phrase, w…

The problem is that navigating all that in a public setting is compounded by the fact that it is public. When you make it public, for whatever reason, you must navigate not only your side as an individual and their side as an individual but the reactions of a large number of other people. If they denied forgiveness in the first five minutes because they were hurt, many other people will reinforce their choice and act…

Thank you for a well-reasoned response. I respect the depth of your experience and find much of what you say to be persuasive. I will endeavor to factor it into my viewpoint on the topic going forward.

Re: Apology

#119

Post by lucideer »

Animats wrote: post #2

This is about something that happened in 2018?

It sounds like the author is trying to make out that it's about something that happened in 2018, but the original post he's responding to was pretty clearly about a lot more.

Re: Apology

#120

Post by ltbarcly3 »

ltbarcly3 wrote: post #110

So now we have to issue formal apologies when someone decides to attack us in public for being rude to them years earlier? Are people made of wet tissue paper, unable to move on after someone wasn't nice to them years ago?

So people are modding down my comment above. I feel attacked, and I insist each person who downvoted my comment formally apologize for this unproductive negative feedback.
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