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Why Russians do not smile (2002)

chicagomaroon.com

111–120 of 502 posts

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#111

I've heard different explanations. Someone told me if someone is smiling to you in Russia, they are probably scamming you. A smile given away too freely for no reason can be perceived as fake and suspicious.

> Someone told me if someone is smiling to you in Russia, they are probably scamming you.

Russia also has dash cams aplenty because apparently pedestrians will willingly jump in front of cars for insurance money. Maybe they're smiling while they do it, but it seems like you can be scammed either way.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#112
post #36
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Smiling prominently for portraits seemed to become more popular only after modern dentistry became common. I imagine most people in the Middle Ages (and much later) had chipped, missing, buckled, crooked and stained teeth. Now pristine teeth are a signal of wealth (even though they're usually 100% fake veneers, at least among actors and models) so people want to signal their wealth by smiling prominently.

Teeth in skeletons from the Middle Ages seem fine. It is later ones, after bringing sugar back from the Americas, that have lots of cavities and missing teeth.

Getting kind of off-topic here, but my recollection is that teeth in the pre-industrial age were often destroyed over time by grit from flour milling that would wear down teeth.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#113
post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

I'm an American and I love smiling at strangers and receiving a genuine smile in return. It's the perfect minimal conversation: no words, just sharing a moment of mutual positivity and kinship. It's like you said the perfect thing, except you didn't have to think of anything clever. It sounds as though people in some countries interpret it as if the smiling person is on the inside of a joke and you're on the outside,…

I don’t think people are assuming hostility, the article explains that it simply means a different thing e.g. laughter instead of positivity. Imagine if you were to go about your day winking at everyone you saw, people would think you were strange or somewhat crazy, they might think you’re hitting on them or perhaps had some sinister intent.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#114
post #60

Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

I don't think so. Try it "not good, my aunt just died" and not every American but many would try to comfort you. Not saying it wouldn't be a bit awkward but that it's not 'just faked' and everyone tries to get out of any real emotion.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#115

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

In America, if your aunt just died, I would say "really bad, but thanks for asking". They asked superficially; I answered superficially but honestly. I left an open door for them to ask more if they want to. If they don't, well, it was superficial conversation, and I won't be surprised or disappointed, and I hope I didn't put them on the spot too much.

"I'm very sorry to hear that. "- Keeps walking.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#116
Plenty of contribution already,so I'll just add a personal anecdote. Some years ago I happened to have some beers with a Latvian Russian,who lived here, in London. He tells us that he doesn't get the Brits. He just doesn't understand the reasoning in some situations. I ask to elaborate. He says: last year, I had a pretty serious trauma and ended up in a hospital. It's so bad, pain, lots of tests,etc. And I'm pretty fed up with all of it. Then, one day, a surgeon comes in, says hello and asks me 'how are you?'. And I reply: 'really bad!'. And suddenly surgeon's face changes: his eyes start moving faster,he looks at me and then observes the room,then at me again. Then the surgeon,in a slightly panicky voice ask me again: well what's wrong,is it the food? Is it the nurses? Did they do all the tests? What's going on?' Then the Russian looks at the doctor and says: well look, I'm in a hospital, I'm ill as hell, I'm in pain and you have the audacity to ask how am I? Are you crazy? It should be pretty clear that it's definitely not my day! The surgeon goes on to explain the subtleties of the question and etc. At that point I already lived in the UK long enough to understand the doctor's position but I also found the Russians point to be absolutely hilarious.

From personal experience I find the Russians absolutely hilarious even without much smiling (the young ones smile more).They are somehow similar to Italians,who are also hilarious, but as is the case with the Russians, the funniest things tend to be equally tragic too. Kind of a never ending tragicomedy on full blast.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#117
post #60

Austrian here, we are somewhat in between Russians and Americans, when it comes to smiling. But what I can tell you is that life is just so much better when people smile at you, even if it might not be a hundred percent genuine. My comparison stems from having worked with both Russians and Americans. Being around grumpy Russians all day long makes live really miserable.

Cannot agree enough. I joined a startup that very clearly initially hired for Russian cultural fit (friends hiring friends) and the mood was like attending a funeral on a daily basis. During interviewing, the hiring manager very cleverly had the minority of native-born Americans speak to me so I never got a feel for the actual culture. I couldn't imagine working long for a place where every day seemed like solitary m…

Weird, the only big “Russian cultural fit” issue I can think of is gendered norms and complete disregard for “political correctness”. People often make jokes at the workplace and make small talk, but yes, we don’t usually have big smiles during normal conversations or greetings.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#118

It looks like they smile more now than in the past. Maybe the quality of life gotten better and they smile more?

If Russians smile more (I do not know really), then the most likely explanation is a mixing of the USA culture into ours.

I being Russian just do not keep smile on my face when everything is just fine. I'll keep smiling when things go especially good. I'd laugh evilly^W when they go in unexpectedly good way. But small variations from a statistical average is not enough of an emotional reason to change my facial expression.

Statostical average is the key. If things made a habit of being extremely good, I'd stop smiling when they are extremely good. I'd wait for more exciting occasion.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#119
post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am Polish and I can not confirm that. I felt a sharp decline in "smiles" after my move to Germany where your description fits much more. I see much more people smiling for no obvious reasons when I visit Poland from time to time. Something which is not perceived as something else but friendliness by my German SO though while I've witnessed Germans being perceived as very cold by US Americans for the way they are. I…

That makes sense. My main context for comparison is US vs PL, and there's a largish difference between strangers and in public or service people and a much smaller difference with friends and family. If you start talking to a stranger in the grocery store in the US because you were both reaching for the same milk you might get a very big smile. I would never expect such an exaggerated reaction in PL, just a small nod…

I've spend a decade working for an F500 US company here in Germany. The amount of bad news delivered with a fake smile was staggering. I lead to pure disgust within the German employee bubble making it actually stronger and the news worse. In the end I've been fired with one of those and some phrase along the "let's stay friends and meet again" line ;)

I was always quite surprised that there seems to never have been any online course teaching people who came over those basic things as they we online courses for everything else.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#120
post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't second this. Everytime I'm in the US I'm scared of all the friendly, smiling people, asking "How are you?" in such a friendly tone, it's delightful. Of course it's faked, anyone knows, and dare if you'd reply with "not good, my aunt just died". Awkward situation ensues, everybody tries to get out of the situation ("and what would you like to have for breakfast tomorrow?"). Now replay the same situation in ano…

You're misunderstanding what the phrase "how are you" means in the US. It is not a literal question, but a set phrase with implicit social rules for "correct" responses. This doesn't mean the person asking is faking kindness - but also understand they're not actually asking for a rundown of how your life is going. Negative responses to the question are ok, just not deeply personal answers. Tom Scott has an excellent…

I always enjoyed the "how is it going", and then not even waiting for a response before moving forward with the conversation. I'm a native born American, have traveled outside of the country only a handful of times, and yet I still find it jarring to be asked that.
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