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Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#112My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…
I’ve seen a lot of people age and slowly lose the ability to control their emotions as well, so Im not exactly sure what’s the ratio of bettering or worsening of emotion control.
But generally I agree with the idea that that wisdom collects with time and experiences lived and so emotional expense is better controlled along with aging.
From my experince, at a smillar age (41), I reserve my fucks for more important events so your take on fucks fits me quite well, I generally give a lot less of them.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#113Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#114My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…
No doubt there's some of that. Perspective is another other thing. Once you start to see how the world works, and how complicated things are, you're a lot less likely to fire off about some specific issue. Radicalism is the posture of those who want to externalize all the side effects of their utopianism, and when you're older it gets harder to not see second-order effects for what they are.
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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#115Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Abuse" now means "offensiveness". Literally. Watering down the language a bit, I can see how a reasonable person would be mildly offended if another person told them: "you're living your life improperly". Which is, ultimately, the received message. Yes you can't get a job in your field and your relationship is trashed, but your 20s are objectively the height of many metrics in your life. So are your 30s. (Unspoken:…
> "Abuse" now means "offensiveness". Literally. It seems this watering down of language was systemic and intentful. I'd love to know what generations, geographies, and cultures are afflicted most by this.
I don't think the intention was to water down the words' meaning. The intention was to get attention on just how terrible a certain thing was/is in the short run (This idea is abuse/violence!). The long term effects of this is future claims of abuse get ignored in the discourse because the words have been so watered down as to lose their meaning.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#116Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is hilarious and yet right on the money in some way. As you get older, you start to see that everything is the same and goes through cycles. The important stuff of my childhood (ex: having clothes that were sewhar fashionable), becomes irrelevant. Who cares if I'm wearing the same style of sandals for over 20 years now? You start to focus on what's more important to you. F** are reserved for important matters li…
The last thing you wrote is something I indirectly think about quite a lot. Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about?
Caring doesn't need to be negative only. IMHO You can care about love even if you're immortal, and you care about losing it even though you went through it all bazillion times already, as each person is unique and the feelings you lose are still lost and the loss is still painful.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#117Earlier quoted context omitted.
I wouldn't call this abuse either but there is a huge huge gulf between "that was the best time of my life" and "this is the best time of your life. It's at best just extremely rude to tell someone about their own life and how they should feel about it.
> but there is a huge huge gulf between "that was the best time of my life" and "this is the best time of your life. Not really. It's notional advice, offered in a spirit of kindness. You don't have to like it, but labeling it 'extremely rude at best' is absolutely infantile.
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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#118> Why do older individuals have greater/better .... ?
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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#119Earlier quoted context omitted.
> "Abuse" now means "offensiveness". Literally. It seems this watering down of language was systemic and intentful. I'd love to know what generations, geographies, and cultures are afflicted most by this.
I don't think the intention was to water down the words' meaning. The intention was to get attention on just how terrible a certain thing was/is in the short run (This idea is abuse/violence!). The long term effects of this is future claims of abuse get ignored in the discourse because the words have been so watered down as to lose their meaning.
The problem is that it seldomly was abuse or violence. These are misplaced or exaggerated words for effect, which is what creates the long term effect. If they're exaggerated, that makes me think this was intentful. If they're misplaced then we've failed in educating a whole group of people on a very fundamental level in a multitude of areas from language to emotional management.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#120My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…
This totally depends on the type of people around you and the kinds of knocks you have taken and survived in life.
It can go the other way.