Female Founder Secrets: Fertility

Feminism did a lot to stigmatize motherhood. "Stay at home mom" became a term of disparagement. You're basically a dumb loser and a miserable failure if you aren't a careerist woman (which is hilarious because such moms are typically much happier than those forced to earn wages or slave away in some toxic corporate environment). I think many more women would prefer to raise their children (which, btw, is a full time job and much more important than some job and for which jobs primarily exist in the first place) instead of pushing them onto some stranger who is payed to do their job for them and then go to work. And frankly, most jobs aren't something people would miss. Feminism of this kind is and always has been an upper middle phenomenon. There is little consideration for low income earners. You think most women are just dying to be wage earners? They do it because they have to. Low income mothers have always been working women, out of necessity, not some weird sense of ambition and needing to prove something. It's the middle and upper class mothers who could afford the privilege of staying at home. (Well, until now when even the upper middle class needs two income earners just to buy a house.)

Before someone possessed by the Zeitgeist clicks that downvote button, I will add that this isn't to say women should be banned from anything. You want a career, that's your business. Also, consider that besides raising children, there is plenty to do around the community that's probably more rewarding than a full blown career (even part time is stuff). However, I am saying that the social and cultural pressure, the NECESSITY, to be a careerist, and this means at the expense of your family which is sort of an afterthought, should be ridiculed and abolished. Girls should not be taught that their self-worth and happiness are to be found in a career. No one should. In this case it's making women miserable. Maybe as people begin to sacrifice some material comforts for the sake of a healthy family life, the market will begin to shift. After all, if you don't have that income rolling in any more and you're not keeping up with the Jones' likes some zombie, then the market will need to respond in turn.

(Also, please, no IVF. IVF is gravely immoral, especially given that you typically have to fertilize multiple eggs which are then are discarded or remain frozen.)

I think women have largely been presented a false promise by progressives: value and purpose is derived from work, go do what men do to be their equal. It’s not necessarily anybody’s fault, we live in a society where money is valued. But I wish we could structure society in a way such that the value of raising children, homemaking, is clearly communicated and understood. Being a mother without a snazzy career is frowned upon by plenty of people these days. I don't think that stigma is healthy. Why do women have to emulate men to be valuable?

Couple that with the fact that depression is most prevalent among childless women in their 40s, it’s like we’re fighting nature to create a perfect 3rd wave utopia. Of course women should follow their heart and we should build a society that allows them to do so on equal terms, but we should not discourage homemaking and stigmatize people who want to raise children.

And then there’s the practical side of things for which I’ve not been able to come to a good solution: In order to have a society of power career couples, someone has to raise their kids. As a couple that means you have to find someone who makes at most the same as you make, but probably less, to be your nanny (otherwise it would make more sense financially to just do it yourself). I don't see how that’s a sustainable narrative unless we are holding out for technology to fill that need.

Me? I would be a stay at home dad in a heartbeat. I love cooking and homemaking and being there for children. But practically in my relationship that doesn't make sense so I’m obligated to work my days away in order to provide for my family. I think there’s this idea that all men love career life because it pays the bills. In reality it’s far from a pipe dream existence.

Point is life is about making sacrifices in order to find happiness. If you sacrifice your youth and fertility for a shot at big riches, ultimately thats your choice. I just wish as a society we were more honest about reality and weren’t so dismissive of people who choose to raise children. That is where I see the path start to turn destructive.

Yeah, but those people are the one-in-100-million types.

Most people have lack-luster careers in their 20s, which pick up in their 30s and peak in their 40s-50s. It makes a lot of sense for the average person to prioritize family building in their early 20s so that the kids are more self-sufficient right at the time where your career is taking off.

Plus, if your blessed enough to have parents who can help out, having babies when your parents are in their 40s-50s is substantially better than when they are 60+. My parents (50s) do really well at caring for their grandkids while my in-laws (60s) actually aren't capable of being alone with their grandkids, aunts or uncles "come to visit" anytime they watch the kids.

What aspects of male biology are they de-prioritizing? The need to participate in child-rearing?