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Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

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Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#111

Post by firecall »

This happened to me, slowly.

I didnt realise it at the time, or as it was happening.

I have ADHD, and can be amazing at work. But over time corporate offices destroyed me. I sought help for depression, and my ADHD. But no one suggested burnout.

I had to have a fully nervous breakdown and six months off work to even work out what was going on.

It's taken a full two years of recovery, and now I guard my mental health like the crown jewels!

But I'll never be the same again. I'll never fully commit to another company, manager, workplace or team again.

I choose to validate myself outside of what makes me money, and choose my friends and acquaintances carefully. I don't assume people I work with are my 'friends', and I certainly am very careful who I trust! (which is never anyone at work!)

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#112

Post by giantg2 »

sergiotapia wrote: post #104
giantg2 wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife works about 25-30 hours per week. However, she spends most of that on her hobby (more than I spend on the mortgage). She doesn't contribute to any bills other than her gas and tires. I pay all the bills, benefits, utilities. I do all the shopping, cooking, baking, mechanic work, handyman work, projects, legal research (a case she got us involved in because she won't listen to me), medical research (our son ha…

What exactly does she bring to the table for your relationship? Look at your life through that lens. If she left, what would you really lose?

I'm not sure this is a great way to value a person

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#113

Post by _y5hn »

bot41 wrote: post #77
outworlder wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time Is it though? What if you are (always) on call? What if you get a message from your boss late evening asking for stuff for early morning? What if you have late night meetings or very early morning meetings (and what if both are present)? What if coworkers from other timezones are messaging you outside work hours (if you even have defined work h…

What if you're on 3 different projects with 3 standup/checkins a day?

You skip those meetings that fail to prove a relevant agenda upfront. Ofc this filter away everything, so you go where you'll be useful and explain to your direct manager your prioritizations.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#114

Post by staysaasy »

Burnout really sucks and it can have major business consequences to say nothing of the more significant personal ones. A management lesson that I almost learned the hard way is that some people will push themselves to burnout without intervention, especially in high stakes environments or if they care really deeply about their work (or care deeply about getting ahead). If you're managing a team it is literally your job to monitor workloads, make sure that your team is taking enough vacation, help junior employees say No to clear their schedules, etc.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#115

Post by layoric »

outworlder wrote: post #18
motohagiography wrote: post #5

Clicked for me recently that working hard is like driving in first gear. Necessary initially, but if you don't shift up into higher gears, you're probably not doing it right, and not getting as far as fast as you probably should. If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time, and that's a signal it's time to step back and figure out what's wrong. Some people are really good at that initial t…

> If I'm tired, it's necessarily because I'm mismanaging my work and time Is it though? What if you are (always) on call? What if you get a message from your boss late evening asking for stuff for early morning? What if you have late night meetings or very early morning meetings (and what if both are present)? What if coworkers from other timezones are messaging you outside work hours (if you even have defined work h…

Thanks for posting this. Startup DevOps with 24/7 on call is brutal, especially if you're a very early employee.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#116

Post by layoric »

oriel wrote: post #107
dirtybirdnj wrote: post #7

Its like being a cat trapped in the washing machine on spin cycle. The only hope for escape is a power failure and mercy of someone who is aware you are inside. Stuck in a job completely burned out, there is nothing worse than the realization of the futility in any struggle to either escape or improve. The knowledge that your output has dropped, the feeling that it's your fault combined with nobody interested in help…

This happened to me multiple times across multiple jobs. The first time, I was laid off with severance--a small mercy. The second time, I was run into the ground repeatedly as I tried to manage it. That time, I was dropkicked by my manager far over the line, and exited myself. This last job, I left the moment I felt it happening. My struggle now is to not make it a reflex, and a huge amount of my personal and life wo…

With you as well, will be avoiding the washing machine for at least 2 months over this Christmas/New year (and very lucky I can afford to) hoping that I can find my motivation again.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#117

Post by layoric »

staysaasy wrote: post #114

Burnout really sucks and it can have major business consequences to say nothing of the more significant personal ones. A management lesson that I almost learned the hard way is that some people will push themselves to burnout without intervention, especially in high stakes environments or if they care really deeply about their work (or care deeply about getting ahead). If you're managing a team it is literally your j…

I wish more managers were aware of this, especially in fields where there is a lot of intrinsic motivation beyond the money. I'm definitely guilty of this, I know its not worth my health and yet I kept pushing myself beyond breaking point several times to support company/team, now at the point where I have little to no motivation for anything. Thankfully I will be taking 2+ months off to try find my motivation again and try something new.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#118

Post by oriel »

firecall wrote: post #109
oriel wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This happened to me multiple times across multiple jobs. The first time, I was laid off with severance--a small mercy. The second time, I was run into the ground repeatedly as I tried to manage it. That time, I was dropkicked by my manager far over the line, and exited myself. This last job, I left the moment I felt it happening. My struggle now is to not make it a reflex, and a huge amount of my personal and life wo…

I'm with you man. It's brutal, and isolating. What is the yowling technique?

Just a continuation of the cat-in-washing-machine metaphor. Yowl instead of meow, where a real example would be learning how to have a hard, yet productive, conversation with your manager about issues which are or could lead to burnout.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#119

Post by mancerayder »

giantg2 wrote: post #112
sergiotapia wrote: post #104

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What exactly does she bring to the table for your relationship? Look at your life through that lens. If she left, what would you really lose?

I'm not sure this is a great way to value a person

You only get one life. Start by valuing you. And as a parent you have someone watching and potentially emulating one day.

I say take a stand one way or another.

Re: Burnout can exacerbate work stress, further promoting a vicious circle

#120

Post by jb_s »

firecall wrote: post #111

This happened to me, slowly. I didnt realise it at the time, or as it was happening. I have ADHD, and can be amazing at work. But over time corporate offices destroyed me. I sought help for depression, and my ADHD. But no one suggested burnout. I had to have a fully nervous breakdown and six months off work to even work out what was going on. It's taken a full two years of recovery, and now I guard my mental health l…

It's tough with ADHD - like another layer to the feedback loop. Not only does ADHD substantially increase workplace stress, but stress and overwork also substantially exacerbate ADHD symptoms.
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