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How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

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Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#111

Post by fireattack »

moate wrote: post #109
fireattack wrote: post #106

I always find this kind of title weird. Coming from a relatively "homogenous" (for lack of a better word) ethnicity, I think I can see a point to generalize something like "this is how X people teach their children math", but "control anger"? This seems to me a very personalized thing that varies wildly from family to family.

Why? This is the "hard skills are real, soft skills aren't" dynamic I see so often (Hello, I'm the PM in a room full of Engineers). Your first mistake is that teaching itself is very personalized and varies wildly from family to family. If we're willing to accept the premise that there are some commonalities among families from the same culture, then how they teach social skills important to that culture would likely…

> there are some commonalities among families from the same culture

My exact point is this: I can't think of any commonalities for "(teach the kids) how to control anger", not for my culture at least. Maybe Inuit people are different.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#112

Post by Talanes »

bobthechef wrote: post #26

First, we mustn't discount the importance of properly expressed anger. Just as there is such a thing as excess or inappropriate anger, there is also such a thing as deficient and inappropriate anger. What "inappropriate" and "excess"/"deficient" anger are will require mature situational judgement on the part of the parent. There's no way around that, and defaulting to "no displays of anger" is not a true substitute.…

>Second, lying to children with silly stories is not a solution. It's one thing if you tell the child a funny story with the understanding that the child doesn't really believe it, but rather finds it both amusing to imagine and comprehends the underlying message. It's an entirely different thing to outright lie. Lying is never admissible, certainly never noble, and will only work to undermine trust toward parents and consequently parental authority.

Were you one of those kids who never figured out the Santa Claus thing on your own and is still salty about it?

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#113

Post by nix23 »

kube-system wrote: post #108
nix23 wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Murdered by white Canadian males...that's what you wanna say? https://www.vice.com/en_ca/article/ppvx8g/a-closer-look-at-n...

That article doesn't support your claim that this parenting style doesn't work, if anything, it refutes it: > Nunavut has the highest per-capita murder rate in the country, but statistics can be misleading. > Nunavut is in line with the national Homicide Survey: a large percentage of murders are committed when the assailant is under the influence of alcohol. > if you took another area similar in housing shortages and…

>your claim that this parenting style doesn't work, if anything, it refutes it:

What claim?

But this is what we have ATM:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jul/23/canada-indigen...

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#114

Post by pier25 »

choeger wrote: post #9

So a large part is to lie? I don't know. I mean, yes, I get angry by my children, and I don't know any parent that does not. Probably I get angry too often too early. But I really try hard never to lie to my kids. I even show them that I am angry because I think that's part of the game. Kids need to learn that other people have emotions. But telling stories about horrific creatures to avoid dangerous places? I don't…

> why not tell them the (horrific) truth?

Because kids are not capable of understanding it.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#115

Post by nickelpro »

It's easy to shape children so single mindedly when the cultural context of that child is completely controlled.

More simply, public schools and Youtube would break this sort of conditioning in short order. It only works if you only expose a kid to that singular unified world view until they lose easy plasticity. And as a personal note, I don't think that reserving kids to a single world view like that is net good, even if you view numbed anger as benefit (which I also don't).

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#116

Post by kube-system »

nix23 wrote: post #113
kube-system wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That article doesn't support your claim that this parenting style doesn't work, if anything, it refutes it: > Nunavut has the highest per-capita murder rate in the country, but statistics can be misleading. > Nunavut is in line with the national Homicide Survey: a large percentage of murders are committed when the assailant is under the influence of alcohol. > if you took another area similar in housing shortages and…

>your claim that this parenting style doesn't work, if anything, it refutes it: What claim? But this is what we have ATM: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/jul/23/canada-indigen...

Your parent comment in this thread: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23930146

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#117

Post by frostburg »

ponker wrote: post #97

Inuit people have terrible life outcomes with disease, alcoholism, and suicide, and while there might be a lot of reasons for this, I would still take any of their examples with a grain of salt.

Look up vikings in Greenland about outcomes in that kind of environment with differing mores.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#118

Post by michael1999 »

nix23 wrote: post #80
Scaevolus wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you have any evidence that those murders occur _within_ their communities by people raised like this?

>Do you have any evidence that those murders occur _within_ their communities by people raised like this? No, do you have any evidence that they are NOT raised like this?

Many adult Canadian Inuit are from a time when they were forcibly removed from their families and raised in residential schools which applied corporal punishment liberally, and sexually abused many of them. Christians routinely complained that the natives refused to beat their children, and couldn't be trusted to raise their children 'properly'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canadian_Indian_residential_sc...

How about an electric chair? https://newsinteractives.cbc.ca/longform/st-anne-residential...

https://www.facinghistory.org/stolen-lives-indigenous-people...

https://indigenousfoundations.arts.ubc.ca/the_residential_sc...

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#119

Post by opwieurposiu »

One Inuit parenting technique that works on my kids. If a child hits you or bites you, don't yell at them. Instead pretend to cry in an exaggerated way. I have found this to be way more effective than yelling or timeouts. My oldest is almost 4, so this might not work on older kids. But then older kids do not bite very often anyway.

Re: How Inuit parents teach kids to control their anger (2019)

#120

Post by AnimalMuppet »

dragonwriter wrote: post #76
raincom wrote: post #71

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are no such things as facts; that's the consensus of the debates in 1960s from history and philosophy of sciences, philosophy of language. Facts are facts of a theory: or, facts are theory-laden. Or observations are theory-laden. When two parties engage in an argument, some theory-laden facts become facts (for instance, propositional logic in this context is seen as fact), other facts become theoretical claims.…

> There are no such things as facts; that's the consensus of the debates in 1960s from history and philosophy of sciences, philosophy of language. That is itself a fact claim—not just that that is the consensus of the debates in those fields, but even that such debate has occurred is such a claim. So either there are facts (and the conclusion of the debates to the contrary is false) or there are no facts and it makes…

Beautiful. Use the claim recursively on itself to destroy it. (And I suspect that all "there is no truth" positions are vulnerable to the same argument.)
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