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Who wants to play the status game?

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Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#111

Post by 52-6F-62 »

noelwelsh wrote: post #2

This has given me food for thought. My kids go to school in an area that has a mix of incomes. My average day might involve working from home, or it might involving traveling internationally to visit $PROMINENT_BRAND_NAME to deliver consulting. When I talk to the other parents I want to reveal some aspects of my life so we have something to talk about. However I can easily come across as boasting (and, to some extent…

> might involving traveling internationally to visit $PROMINENT_BRAND_NAME to deliver consulting

Totally tangential and I apologize for that—but I read your profile and it made me curious what you're consulting on. Would you share [in some sense, even vauge] what kind of thing you consult on, or am I out of bounds? No names needed. I'm just very interested when software meets music, and in many facets of that meeting.

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#112

Post by noelwelsh »

fma wrote: post #35
noelwelsh wrote: post #2

This has given me food for thought. My kids go to school in an area that has a mix of incomes. My average day might involve working from home, or it might involving traveling internationally to visit $PROMINENT_BRAND_NAME to deliver consulting. When I talk to the other parents I want to reveal some aspects of my life so we have something to talk about. However I can easily come across as boasting (and, to some extent…

Ask them about their kids and just let them do the talking. A natural conversation usually flows from there.

I'm agreed that talking about kids is a good way to get conversations started with strangers (or pets, if not kids). In this case we're relatively new to the area but I know most people's backgrounds now. It's more a case of someone initiating conversation with a casual "what have you been up to?" to which I can respond, say, "Oh, just got back from a week at $MEGACORP", which might taken as a status play but at least gives something to start a conversation about, or a conversation killing "Oh, not much. Just the usual work stuff."

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#113

Post by whatshisface »

noelwelsh wrote: post #112
fma wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ask them about their kids and just let them do the talking. A natural conversation usually flows from there.

I'm agreed that talking about kids is a good way to get conversations started with strangers (or pets, if not kids). In this case we're relatively new to the area but I know most people's backgrounds now. It's more a case of someone initiating conversation with a casual "what have you been up to?" to which I can respond, say, "Oh, just got back from a week at $MEGACORP", which might taken as a status play but at leas…

I don't think it's a status play to namedrop a "megacorp," because for all they know you could be doing data entry. There's a spectrum of business consulting advancedness. It would be boasting to say "I delivered a report directly to the CEO," not to say "I did a one week contract for Walmart." The look on your face when you say it (snide, "I'm better than you," resigned to a life in airplane seats, pained from a life in airplane seats...) will convey most of the message.

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#114

Post by cousin_it »

Status sucks.

The greatest invention of civilization is trade, which makes status obsolete. In a society that upholds property rights of everyone, even the lowest can get ahead without being seen as superior or excellent. Just offer something that other people want to have, and ask for a little money in return.

The result of that process - that a low-status-looking, fat, filthy, cowardly trader ends up driving a BMW - is hated by the public, who would rather see a proud warrior in that BMW, winning it through status instead of lowly trade. But fuck that. I hope trade keeps ascending, and people who are disliked but provide good things to others - cowardly traders, smelly nerds, the whole sad group that I identify with - keep getting more good stuff in lieu of status competition.

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#115

Post by AKrumbach »

RookyNumbas wrote: post #79
CalRobert wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"we get to choose which ones, if any, matter to us." Definitely! It can be amusing (and awkward) when the game is played by people who have wildly different things they value. Someone (politely, of course) reveals they're a wealthy executive and you react by looking on them with pity because they have to sell their time to others to work on dumb things that don't matter while you get to be footloose and backpack arou…

Right. There isn't one game, there are infinitely many, and different people will have success at different games. But there is also the meta-game: The game of being able to win the highest variety and largest amount of different games. I think this meta-game is closest to what we think of as status.

> There isn't one game, there are infinitely many, and different people will have success at different games. But there is also the meta-game: The game of being able to win the highest variety and largest amount of different games.

I am less certain the meta-game is inherently about broadening the variety of status measurements, and more about setting the terms by which status is measured. A person who can win a large variety of such measurements might trend toward a broadening strategy such as you describe (since this is likely to favor their odds of winning any given contest), but ultimately the problem of of a "split decision" between multiple comparisons means we should expect any given contest to only ever use one means of status measurement.

Therefore the meta-game is about winning the selection process for that measurement (with the broad strategy being just one among many possibilities)....

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#116

Post by b0rsuk »

kristianc wrote: post #73
willemlabu wrote: post #63

I once attended a talk by a man who was head of a creative marketing agency. He also had a side gig of being a presentation consultant. I forget his name and agency, but I don't think I could forget what he said. He would lead his company's pitches to new clients, and would turn up to the presentation wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops; tattoos all over his arms and neck, and thereby set the expectations of th…

> Setting expectations low, and then making them feel foolish for misjudging you. It's a risky game. People tend to make their first impressions within seconds, and then spend the rest of the time looking for evidence to validate that assumption.

Which is why it demonstrated high confidence on the part of the marketing guy. I agree with you it's risky. Charisma is my dumpstat.

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#117

Post by thrwaway69 »

code4tee wrote: post #37

Status only matters if the other party cares about it. The ultimate status game is truly showing that you don’t care that the other person is X, has done X, their dad/uncle is X, wants you to think X but rather are dealing with the person in front of you right then and there and what they are able to bring to the table at that time. The reverse is incredibly powerful too. Those that have been most impressive to me th…

To be fair, given my diverse internet usage. I am sure someone famous and special has replied or argued to me before.

They probably also experienced reading my dumb comments. :)

Do I get extra status for this?

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#118

Post by enraged_camel »

willemlabu wrote: post #63

I once attended a talk by a man who was head of a creative marketing agency. He also had a side gig of being a presentation consultant. I forget his name and agency, but I don't think I could forget what he said. He would lead his company's pitches to new clients, and would turn up to the presentation wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops; tattoos all over his arms and neck, and thereby set the expectations of th…

To me, what you wear to a meeting is not about signaling status. It's about signaling respect. And that's directly correlated with how much effort you have put into how you present yourself.

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#119

Post by kerkeslager »

toasterlovin wrote: post #110
kerkeslager wrote: post #75

> It is much easier to mock others for engaging in the Importance Game and the Leveling Game than to acknowledge one is doing it. And it's critical to realize: mocking others for engaging in the Importance Game and the Leveling Game is just a way of engaging in the Importance Game. This is an even stranger game than Nuclear War: it sometimes seems that the only winning move is not to play, but not to play isn't reall…

> And it's critical to realize: mocking others for engaging in the Importance Game and the Leveling Game is just a way of engaging in the Importance Game. I grew up in Los Angeles and now live in Portland, OR. People in LA play the status game rather brazenly and are roundly mocked for it. But the exact same game is played by everyone doing the mocking here in Portland. Except, instead of buying luxury automobiles an…

I think this gets at something I hinted at in my other post on this thread: It's important to master both the Importance Game and the Leveling Game because they're subgames in the Self-Actualization Game. Both are necessary parts of interacting with people. Mastery of the Importance Game and Leveling Game involves reading the situation: when in Rome, play as the Romans do. The ultimate master of these games can play them effectively in both LA and Portland, but I think realistically, a proficient player chooses which stage in which to play based on their own strengths and goals.

Re: Who wants to play the status game?

#120

Post by pfarrell »

RookyNumbas wrote: post #79
CalRobert wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"we get to choose which ones, if any, matter to us." Definitely! It can be amusing (and awkward) when the game is played by people who have wildly different things they value. Someone (politely, of course) reveals they're a wealthy executive and you react by looking on them with pity because they have to sell their time to others to work on dumb things that don't matter while you get to be footloose and backpack arou…

Right. There isn't one game, there are infinitely many, and different people will have success at different games. But there is also the meta-game: The game of being able to win the highest variety and largest amount of different games. I think this meta-game is closest to what we think of as status.

IMO, the sooner you learn this, the better you can try to understand other people’s journies and the better yours becomes. That whole being rich versus being wealthy thing.

Also, after more than a year, I just lost the game.

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