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Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

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Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#111

Post by baby »

tomhoward wrote: post #110
baby wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a prime example of survivor bias. Most homeless people don’t make it back to the top.

I tried to be clear that I wasn’t “homeless” in the sense of living on the street. I just couldn’t make rent (ironically I had to Airbnb out my room) or easily afford food/bills, so needed to sleep at parents’/friends’ houses for a while as I worked to get back on my feet. Plenty of people go through this, due to a business/career/relationship breakdown, and recover to a good life, and it’s very common for people to…

I couldn’t disagree more. I think free healthcare, aides for rents, food, etc. when you can’t afford it should be a human right. Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#112

Post by tomhoward »

baby wrote: post #111
tomhoward wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I tried to be clear that I wasn’t “homeless” in the sense of living on the street. I just couldn’t make rent (ironically I had to Airbnb out my room) or easily afford food/bills, so needed to sleep at parents’/friends’ houses for a while as I worked to get back on my feet. Plenty of people go through this, due to a business/career/relationship breakdown, and recover to a good life, and it’s very common for people to…

I couldn’t disagree more. I think free healthcare, aides for rents, food, etc. when you can’t afford it should be a human right. Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness.

> Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness

I agree, but I don't accept that this has to be immutable, and it would be a very bleak world/future if it did.

Rather than a world in which a class of people just has to accept a disempowered existence with basic services and resources provided, I hope for a world where effectively everyone can have agency over their own life, and aspire to good health, good relationships, and a reasonable level of material wealth.

That hope is part of what keeps me determined to explore the possibilities in this field; to see what kinds of improvements I can attain in my own life, then think about how these approaches could benefit others, including those who are currently written off as "mentally ill" (which I have been at certain times in my life).

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#113

Post by tomhoward »

IsaacL wrote: post #108
tomhoward wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

By the way, since someone has already asked (and I generally get requests for more info when I write about this stuff here) people are welcome to contact me if they want to know more about techniques I’ve used for emotional healing. I’m working on some written material to share my learnings with others who may benefit from it, so if you get in touch I can share it when it’s ready. Email address in profile.

Thanks for sharing your story. My own story has some similarities to yours -- I joined an elite startup accelerator straight out of university, thought I had a bunch of pretty damned good business ideas to work on (and looking back, I did -- I had a pretty good understanding of business strategy, engineering, product design, etc) -- but then ended up bouncing between jobs and quickly-aborted startup attempts, before…

Fantastic, thanks for sharing.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#114

Post by d10r »

tomhoward wrote: post #112
baby wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I couldn’t disagree more. I think free healthcare, aides for rents, food, etc. when you can’t afford it should be a human right. Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness.

> Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness I agree, but I don't accept that this has to be immutable, and it would be a very bleak world/future if it did. Rather than a world in which a class of people just has to accept a disempowered existence with basic services and resources provided, I hope for a world where effectively everyone can have agency over their own life, and aspire…

I think I understand what you mean with that and agree with it in principle. However you should keep in mind that you are a person with a "business mindset". There is plenty of people out there who may well have something valuable to contribute to this world, but have no chance of getting an economic return out of that. This can be due to a lack of economic mindset/understanding/education or also just due to the type of value one is able to provide not fitting any monetization model. I believe that a modern society can and should afford to relieve their members from existential fear related to biological needs. That is not about taking away aspiration and agency.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#115

Post by d10r »

tomhoward wrote: post #112
baby wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I couldn’t disagree more. I think free healthcare, aides for rents, food, etc. when you can’t afford it should be a human right. Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness.

> Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness I agree, but I don't accept that this has to be immutable, and it would be a very bleak world/future if it did. Rather than a world in which a class of people just has to accept a disempowered existence with basic services and resources provided, I hope for a world where effectively everyone can have agency over their own life, and aspire…

... in other words: based on personal observation, I believe that the correlation of personal wealth and value contributed to society is not strong enough (which doesn't mean there's none) to justify making one's existence dependent on it - in a sophisticated society which could easily afford otherwise.

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#116

Post by tomhoward »

d10r wrote: post #114
tomhoward wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Some people manage more than others, and we just blame this on mental illness I agree, but I don't accept that this has to be immutable, and it would be a very bleak world/future if it did. Rather than a world in which a class of people just has to accept a disempowered existence with basic services and resources provided, I hope for a world where effectively everyone can have agency over their own life, and aspire…

I think I understand what you mean with that and agree with it in principle. However you should keep in mind that you are a person with a "business mindset". There is plenty of people out there who may well have something valuable to contribute to this world, but have no chance of getting an economic return out of that. This can be due to a lack of economic mindset/understanding/education or also just due to the type…

The combination "something valuable to contribute to this world" and "have no chance of getting an economic return out of that" sounds like a market failure, and something that could/should be fixed, both for the benefit of the individual and for society.

There are indigenous Australians in remote communities, who grew up and remain living in cultures that have little familiarity with modern commerce, but who produce artworks that sell for thousands of dollars on international markets. The proceeds are invested back into those communities for their future benefit. This happens because systems have been established to make it happen.

So I'm not convinced that there is an immutable state in which a certain class of people, while providing valuable contributions to society, cannot reap any economic benefit or improve their own lot in life.

Can you describe an example of this situation that you've observed?

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#117

Post by snawster »

spodek wrote: post #37

As a coach to similar-level people and professor/coach to elite students at NYU and Columbia Business School, I'm also impressed by how much the social and emotional challenges can be overcome with a few exercises that teach social and emotional skills. It amazes me that our educational system at every level teaches so much information, knowledge, and analytical skill but virtually ignores teaching social and emotion…

> perpetual, ever-recurring loop of mental chatter, difficult emotions and body sensations

I find this interesting to read because I don't know what such a loop feels like - "blank" is the most common content of my "mental chatter" and "blank" is the emotion I feel most often - only rarely anything else, mostly just when provoked by emotional music, or during times of high stress.

Edit: I guess the "mental chatter" part is simply because I don't think in words, only impressions or concepts, maybe that is why I don't know this sensation...

Re: Takeaways from coaching CEOs, founders and VCs

#118

Post by Epokhe »

IsaacL wrote: post #109
spodek wrote: post #37

As a coach to similar-level people and professor/coach to elite students at NYU and Columbia Business School, I'm also impressed by how much the social and emotional challenges can be overcome with a few exercises that teach social and emotional skills. It amazes me that our educational system at every level teaches so much information, knowledge, and analytical skill but virtually ignores teaching social and emotion…

I read your blog a ton back in the day! Good to see that you're still around. Whenever people start talking about introverts vs extroverts I still think "it's only a model!"

Hey, unrelated to this message but, I think you don't wanna miss this https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21941170
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