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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#111

Post by [deleted] »

elcomet wrote: post #48
bpchaps wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This field fucking sucks. I'm tired of being on call 24/7/365. I'm tired of having to explain why plaintext passwords are bad. I'm tired of being taken advantage of for being a generalist. I'm tired of ex-google asshole bosses with massive egos. I'm tired of carrying a laptop with me "just in case". I'm tired of the constantly shifting "popular" technologies. I'm tired of spending weekends indoors studying for work,…

> I'm tired of being on call 24/7/365. You don't have to be on call. You can find a company where this is a choice (gives benefits / additional salary but not mandatory). > I'm tired of spending weekends indoors studying for work, instead of work giving time to learn. You shouldn't. Weekends are there for a reason, they are necessary to rest. You should try to change company if this is not the case. I believe most of…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#112

Post by api »

theanine wrote: post #55

Thanks for asking. Not really, and it's 100% work-related. I dread coming in to work and it's given me awful anxiety that's turned into occasional passive suicidal ideation. Once I leave work, I feel like a totally different person and all the symptoms disappear. My boss calls me stupid, incompetent, r*tarded, and "like you have part of your brain missing". He grills me on literally everything I do, like why I'm gett…

That is straight up abuse and you should absolutely look for another job.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#113

Post by hntemp190912 »

No.

My work stress level is basically maxed out and has been for a long time. I'm not coping with it.

I can't sleep well, and at night my thoughts are filled with ideas of suicide. The thought of putting a gun to my head is calming, like I'd finally be able to relax. I imagine a lot of elaborate and violent ways to go, and these thoughts seem to be the only things that relax me enough to fall asleep.

There's no point to anything I'm doing, to any of the money I'm making, my future looks just like my past, I'm going to work until I die anyway, and I hate working, so why even keep going? I have literally nothing to look forward to. I think the only thing keeping me alive is the fear of actually going through with it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#114

Post by ishi »

TamDenholm wrote: post #16

Right now no, the last couple weeks is where everything in my life is going down the shitter. I'm trying to just get on with it cuz my stoic nature just tells me I'll get through it eventually. I'm in substantial debt for me but at the rate in which I earn I can pull myself out of it within 6 months, but I've been working on launching new companies and it's been a struggle. My 2 cofounders are waiting for me to finis…

Dude, sounds like you're spreading yourself too thin. Trying to launch multiple (two?) companies at the same time, plus renovating, plus running a charity, plus working with clients... When do you sleep?

My unsolicited advice is to say no more often - if an opportunity comes along but you're already overworked, you might need to pass on it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#115

Post by 52-6F-62 »

hazeii wrote: post #65

How did we even end up here? As a greybeard, messing with computers has always been fun for me. Yet somehow, slowly the system has morphed it into a way to grind talented people into the ground with impossible deadlines and insane demands - to the point where we need websites like this.

> the system has morphed it into a way to grind talented people into the ground with impossible deadlines and insane demands

My experience with computers has been the same. That and music. I make it a major point to watch for flags of that kind of environment with any company I speak to.

I'm a realist and not every day can be the most fun ever—sometimes there's a bit of a grind—but it shouldn't be the default status. I would lose too much if they stopped being fun. I've had it happen once before and it took several years to find that fun feeling again. Life's too short for that.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#116

Post by theanine »

piva00 wrote: post #80
theanine wrote: post #55

Thanks for asking. Not really, and it's 100% work-related. I dread coming in to work and it's given me awful anxiety that's turned into occasional passive suicidal ideation. Once I leave work, I feel like a totally different person and all the symptoms disappear. My boss calls me stupid, incompetent, r*tarded, and "like you have part of your brain missing". He grills me on literally everything I do, like why I'm gett…

Start interviewing, I know that this is very often thrown around here and in other communities but absolutely NONE of this behaviour should be acceptable in any kind of professional environment. You know you are being severely underpaid (I'm assuming you are from the US even though I'm not) so finding a place paying the same or a little better just to get away from this fucking horrible situation is worth every singl…

Thanks. I have a final interview next week at a somewhat boring company, but the pay would be nearly double and I think I'd be much much healthier, so I'll take that if I can get it.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#117

Post by arandr0x »

bpchaps wrote: post #32
quantumwoke wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you say that? I think there's a lot of things that are really great about tech industry and there's some things that aren't so great. What's been your experience?

This field fucking sucks. I'm tired of being on call 24/7/365. I'm tired of having to explain why plaintext passwords are bad. I'm tired of being taken advantage of for being a generalist. I'm tired of ex-google asshole bosses with massive egos. I'm tired of carrying a laptop with me "just in case". I'm tired of the constantly shifting "popular" technologies. I'm tired of spending weekends indoors studying for work,…

this feels so familiar!

anyway none of those things are gonna matter in 20 years, but you probably know that. Do you have friends in tech to vent to?

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#118

Post by Sharma »

memetomancer wrote: post #73

I ain't, that's for sure. I recently quit my job (HPC) without another one lined up, due entirely to stress. Something had to give and I decided that if I wasn't able to manage the stress I wasn't fit for the job any more. Kinda snapped, took a week off and spontaneously gave 2 weeks notice on my return. Wasn't really thinking straight. It's been a few weeks since I split and I'm starting to run out of money, but sad…

>> "... and am unmotived to dive back into the fray..." What is done is gone now.

Think about it this way: You were stressed because of that situation/job which is no more with you. So why continue thinking about it and not be motivated again for a new job which definitely will be better or at the least different than the previous one?

Get back in the job market and start preparing with a positive attitude towards your new job(which you will get soon). And this time you know how you can identify the situation before it gets too late.

So sleep more today/tonight if you want :-) but get back to the job hunting with full throttle starting tomorrow. Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#119

Post by dec0dedab0de »

theanine wrote: post #55

Thanks for asking. Not really, and it's 100% work-related. I dread coming in to work and it's given me awful anxiety that's turned into occasional passive suicidal ideation. Once I leave work, I feel like a totally different person and all the symptoms disappear. My boss calls me stupid, incompetent, r*tarded, and "like you have part of your brain missing". He grills me on literally everything I do, like why I'm gett…

He is just trying to convince you that you're not worth the raise, and that you wouldn't get a better job somewhere else. He is wrong. Apply everywhere. If you don't have kids or a mortgage, just quit.

I was in a similar situation once. I got lucky because someone in our department, who was much stronger than I was, found a new job as a manager at a different company. Then a year later asked me to come work for him. That does not mean you have to wait to be lucky. Update your resume, don't try to wait until you have some new skill, just update it to wherever you are now, and start applying. Remember to ask for at least 80k.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#120

Post by [deleted] »

tombert wrote: post #15
cvaidya1986 wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you try teaching at your local university meanwhile?

I have a bit of dumb question on this...is it easy to just get a job teaching at a university? I thought those jobs typically require a bunch of degrees and were pretty competitive? ===== EDIT: The reason I ask, this is something I wouldn't mind doing but I've never really considered due to a lack of credentials.

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