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Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

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Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#111
post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.

> hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months…

Amen to this... 3.5 yr old and twin infants here... I haven't been able to concentrate in years. When I have attempted to produce anything of value (in job or hobby), it's been at the expense of my family...

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months…

Amen to this... 3.5 yr old and twin infants here... I haven't been able to concentrate in years. When I have attempted to produce anything of value (in job or hobby), it's been at the expense of my family...

[deleted]

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#113
post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To enter a market you need to build a firm and develop a product. This requires non-trivial time and resources and is risky. Without the resources you can only try it a few times in a lifetime. With the resources, you can keep trying until you find success. It's building a ladder up a mountain that already exists.

> This requires non-trivial time and resources and is risky. Absolutely true. You need to take a risk to take advantage of an opportunity. > Without the resources you can only try it a few times in a lifetime. If you have time and determination, you really do have all the resources that are necessary (unless you're wanting a get-rich-quick type of thing, of course). There's nothing that limits you to a few times in a…

Sure, with time and determination, you can build a ladder up a mountain. But one path is as good as another if that's the case. All the 'opportunities' you're ignoring aren't opportunities, they're noise

A real opportunity compels you to take advantage of it, you really are losing something if you don't follow it up.

What's limiting you to a few tries to a lifetime is time. It takes 5-10 years to properly validate a business model, you can only do that so many times. And you might not be in the same place after an attempt that you were before, meaning it might take even more time.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#114

I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school (high schoolers first, then elementary schoolers, then middle schoolers). Everyone is finally at school by 9:15am and I can head in for work. I get home around 6pm and get the little kids in bed by 8pm. 8-8:30pm is me time. Then I get ready for bed and am asleep by 9pm. I can't imagine what a slow morning (or evening!) would even be like. I'd appreciat…

After you drop them off, but before you go to work - can you work from home at your kitchen table with your laptop and coffee?

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#115

>“Technology has done nothing but enhance my life. But how you decide to carve out time for yourself is important,” says Nicole Loher, a 26-year-old marketing consultant for Microsoft. “There was a time when I did transition into being that obsessive with the phone and it didn’t feel that great.” Loher is also a slow-morning devotee and she started her routine a decade ago, frequently waking at 4:30 and spending the…

Nicole Loher is better known as an Instagram/Tumblr influencer who graduated high school early to work in fashion while attending college in New York (she pretty actively blogged during this time), so it's plausible she started some sort of routine at 16.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#116
post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.

> hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months…

> assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay

This is an enormous assumption. Many babies are fussy, colicky, or otherwise high maintenance. The variation at this age is just ridiculous.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#117
post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.

> hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months…

> A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn

I think this varies enormously between kids, and to some extent between parenting styles as well. With my particular kids (5y and 3y) I can often spend a whole afternoon working on a project while they play individually or together; at younger ages the time commitment was far larger (nearly continuous).

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#118
post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can understand getting the kids up for elementary school (especially if they're very young) but even when I was in 5th grade - I was getting up myself, eating breakfast I made, and walking to school by myself. My parents were frequently gone by the time I woke up because they had to be at work before I had to be at school. In middle school (6th - 8th) - it was no different for the rest except that I walked or biked…

I'm a nightowl, and so are my kids. They will happily stay up to the early morning hours reading. Getting them out of bed in the mornings is a major pain in the butt. But, they will happily sleep in and miss the start of school if I'm not there.

My kids are 5y and 3y, and the oldest has just started kindergarten. I'll wake them up if need be, and then if they're ready for breakfast on time they each get a penny. Boy do they want that penny!

With older kids I would imagine some sort of just "here's an alarm clock, getting up and ready for school is your job" would work, but I've never been a parent of older kids ;)

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#119
post #7

I'm struck by a couple of things, Getting up at 4.30am seems excessive and presumably requires going to bed at 8-9pm I can't imagine doing this with a child

I can't imagine ever going to bed unless it's completely dark outside. I did grow up in the northern latitudes somewhat, so going to bed before 11pm in the summer would be ridiculous. We were out playing with friends until 9-10pm, easily.

You can get blackout curtains that work very well.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#120
post #36

There is no work-life balance in tech. You can deceive yourself but the balance died out something like 7-8 years ago. When the wave after wave of tech changes happening and new tools coming into existence, the only lifestyle you can have to stay gainfully employed is: work, work, work until some other commitment (sleep, wife, kids) eat up remainder of your time. Personally, I think in next 5-10 years, IT workforce w…

This depends enormously on where you're working and what you're optimizing for. "Deceiving yourself" is far too strong: people can easily tell how many hours they're working and whether they're expected to be continuously available.

I have two small kids, so it's important to me that I have a lot of time outside of work. Typically I'm up at 7am, get them ready, bring them to school, get to work ~8:30, leave work ~4:50, kids down ~8:30, bed ~10. I rarely check email outside of work or work in the evenings (only when there's something I'm working on that I'm super excited about) and there's no pressure at all to work more hours than this. I'm not on call.

Not all tech jobs are like this, and I'm lucky I've found one that is a good fit for me, but work-life balance is totally possible.

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