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Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

effectiviology.com

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Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#111

Post by maxerickson »

riskneutral wrote: post #45
maroonblazer wrote: post #4

>Self-distancing is the act of increasing the distance from your own egocentric perspective when assessing events and emotions that you experience. It's odd that there's no mention of meditation as a way to achieve this effect, since that's arguably its biggest benefit. Put another way, as someone once said: Wisdom is the ability to take your own advice.

I would go further and say that meditation is the only way to reliably and truly actualize such a state of mind.

Can't that just put things in a circle? Where if you are self distancing then you must be doing whatever meditation is?

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#112

Post by spaceprison »

andrewkslv wrote: post #107

AA members (Alcoholics Anonymous) or any addicted people are doing the opposite. They talk about drinking, they're celebrating round dates. I think the approach in the article is more effective for them.

With all due respect, you're wrong.

In AA there is celebration around milestones (first days, then months then years of sobriety) and there is some discussion of past drinking. You'll often see a lot of both in movies, newcomer meetings or early treatment.

But substance abusers are selfish so a core function of working an aa program aside from trying to help others quit (objectively using ones own experience to help another) is actively taking inventory of past and present resentments, fears and selfishness to determine "what was/is your role in X?" and then making an amend to correct the wrong.

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#113

Post by sn9 »

dominotw wrote: post #10

> self who is analyzing the event is considered to be distinct from the self who experienced it I have hard time following this, how can there be two selfs in a single mind. Is the observer more nobler entity with higher self restraint than the entity being observed who is more emotional and lower self control?

Sam Harris's Waking Up is actually a great short read about both the neuroscience behind the self and meditation and how meditation can help you become more aware of how the self is more a useful fiction than an irreducible thing.

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#114

Post by sonnyblarney »

fma wrote: post #51
sonnyblarney wrote: post #8

This is really a powerful and understudied phenom that's very well exemplified in a very simple form of advice I once read concerning making decisions, self assessment: Instead of thinking "what should I do in the situation?", consider "what advice would I give myself in this situation?" It's almost a trivial differentiation, and yet, if one applies this concept immediately for any reason big or small, one will be as…

Often times when faced with a tough decision, I pretend I have a friend in the exact same situation and I think about what advice I without give them. It would actually take the form of a conversation and is quite productive.

Yes, that's it. So simple, so powerful.

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#115

Post by HNLurker2 »

hhjjkkll wrote: post #16
torstenvl wrote: post #15

Robert Sapolsky touches on this when discussing the effects of glucocorticoids on the prefrontal cortex. A stressed PFC is not an executive functioning PFC. When we're too close to an issue, we process with our periaqueductal gray (key in pain inhibition) and not with the part of our brain more adept at strategizing. These stress effects on frontal function also make us perseverative—in a rut, set in our ways, runnin…

>When we're too close to an issue, we process with our periaqueductal gray (key in pain inhibition) and not with the part of our brain more adept at strategizing. This must be what happens when you think of a funny comeback or joke several hours after the opportunity to use it.

Tunnel vision bias

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#116

Post by HNLurker2 »

brsanders wrote: post #108
torstenvl wrote: post #15

Robert Sapolsky touches on this when discussing the effects of glucocorticoids on the prefrontal cortex. A stressed PFC is not an executive functioning PFC. When we're too close to an issue, we process with our periaqueductal gray (key in pain inhibition) and not with the part of our brain more adept at strategizing. These stress effects on frontal function also make us perseverative—in a rut, set in our ways, runnin…

i have a saying i tell myself every time this happens to me: 'if it's too hard, you're doing it wrong'.

FTFY if it's too hard, it's fun

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#117

Post by acct1771 »

username444 wrote: post #109
nothrabannosir wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Are we to apply the same logic to how advertising made me feel a certain way leading to a purchase u wouldn't otherwise have made? I agree with your point about there being a line, but: YES!! ! Advertising has gone too far and is now squarely behind that line. There is an all out war on our brains going on, and we are losing. Modern advertising and "engagement optimisation" is overwhelmingly insiduous and perniciou…

Lumping all advertising into one box isn't just disingenuous, it's harmful. Is the farmer advertising his grass-fed, hormone-free beef as a better alternative to what's currently standard grocery store garbage, doing harm? There's a spectrum to everything, including tech.

Where can I get those ads?

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#118

Post by datalus »

temp99990 wrote: post #41
datalus wrote: post #32

I'm in the midst of a major decision... Just quit my job with a year of runway and I'm either considering putting that towards graduate school abroad or settling down, finding a better job, and buying a home. My emotions tell me to go study, but my rational mind tells me to settle down and buy a home.

I’m surprised a year of runway could mean a house...?

I meant a year of runway as my current expenses renting... owning a home would come after finding a job/saving :) I wasn't clear on that. Sorry!

Re: Self-distancing can help you make better decisions

#120

Post by philwelch »

namanyayg wrote: post #49
LeonB wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There can be at least two selfs very easily. There is me, the wise guy who set the alarm so I can wake up early tomorrow and is distinct from the lazy me who won’t wake up the next morning. Then there is me, the nice guy who deserves to sleep in this morning and is distinct from the malicious beast who set the damn alarm last night and is intent on ruining my morning. Completely different people.

I completely concur with dual-think/multiple selves, but your example talks about two different selves at two different _times_, not at once as OP assumes.

"That's a problem for Future Homer! Man, I don't envy that guy!"
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