Explaining Sex Rate Changes • Hacker News Board

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#111

Post by jliptzin » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:10 AM UTC

dwwmtat wrote: post #79

PutinIsMyGod wrote: post #12

I honestly believe the rise of incelibacy will lead to increasing destabilization of the US. There's nothing worse for a country than a bunch of lonely angry men without jobs and without sex.

When I was younger, I wanted sex all the time. But around the time I turned 29 or 30 I rapidly began to lose interest in sex. It was like someone turned off a switch. It doesn't seem normal - I should want sex more than I do. I'm healthy and my hormone levels are normal. Maybe I'm an outlier, but I wonder how many people aren't having sex because, for whatever reason, they're losing interest at a relatively young age…

I have friends who spend almost all their free time playing video games. I ask them why don’t they want to occasionally go out, meet a girl, whatever, they’re content playing video games all the time at home, plus they like that it doesn’t cost them nearly as much money as going out. It’s a little sad to me but if that’s what they want to do it’s their lives. Video games have gotten very addictive -this may be a contributing factor.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#112

Post by thatoneuser » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:12 AM UTC

Buge wrote: post #42

AstralStorm wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Incelibacy is not a word and do not make it one. It's called involuntary celibacy.

Yeah, I would think "incelibacy" would mean non-celibacy. But that's the opposite of what PutinIsMyGod meant. Then again flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

What a country!

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#113

Post by jliptzin » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:12 AM UTC

I’d guess HD porn + addictive video games + ubereats plays a nontrivial role in keeping young men from leaving the house, and also keeping them out of shape, making it more difficult to find a partner even if they wanted to.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#114

Post by abledon » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:12 AM UTC

emikulic wrote: post #63

freyir wrote: post #26

As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…

Re: OkCupid: do you mean this? https://web.archive.org/web/20170330131859/https://theblog.o...

Lol that 3rd graph , it’s so sad !

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#115

Post by thatoneuser » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:14 AM UTC

PutinIsMyGod wrote: post #12

I honestly believe the rise of incelibacy will lead to increasing destabilization of the US. There's nothing worse for a country than a bunch of lonely angry men without jobs and without sex.

Without a sense of companionship I think is more important. You can always wank it and get laid infrequently and people are kinda ok with it. But having someone to love you? To grow with? That's something everyone needs a lot of to have a healthy and functional society.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#116

Post by titanix2 » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:14 AM UTC

freyir wrote: post #26

As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…

That’s exactly the theory developed by circles like the red pill. More access to potential partners with less social control lead to a winner take all situation. In addition, and it is addressed in the OP, women try to get partners which are higher on the social scale while men mostly focus on beauty.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#117

Post by abledon » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:15 AM UTC

thatoneuser wrote: post #109

It's genuinely depressing to think that a large number of guys now has no access to explore intimacy and partnership (or very little). No one's owed sex of course but it's like we're breaking aspects of society. And I think you'd naturally find women are less able to find meaning themselves here so it's not just a men's pity party. I wonder, if this is a dating app phenomenon, if there's anything that can be done tha…

Enforced communal participation in events — similar to having to file your taxes , you just participate in X number of community events in a X km region from your residence — would help people get off the screens and get outside in a context other than work.

Similar to how In high school you need 40 hrs of community service to graduate

Edit: ok not ‘enforced’ but there should be some sort of government incentive

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#118

Post by mantas » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:16 AM UTC

jamescostian wrote: post #91

abledon wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Kids like a stable environment to grow up in too — messes up their psychological development when there is a revolving door for new ‘daddys’ and ‘mommys’ . We are for promiscuity at certain stages of life but.... yes the costs haha

I know this is true for divorce situations (probably because of the fighting), but I didn't know that polyamorous parents could mess up a child's psychological development. Any sources for this?

Not the OP, but one important bit for the kid is to have stable set of rules. If there're multiple individuals with different parenting styles, kid gets confused and don't know who to look up to and what rules to follow.

That needs good coordination even in mom-dad situation. And gets more and more complicated if more people are involved.

More specifically for polyamorous, it seems to keep much harder a stable, jealousy-free, neutral relationship. Even in mom-dad, kids tend to pick favourite parent or parent picks a favourite kid and that creates all sorts of issues. This would definitely add much more tension with multiple "moms" and "dads" around.

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#119

Post by mantas » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:16 AM UTC

rosser wrote: post #105

abledon wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Kids like a stable environment to grow up in too — messes up their psychological development when there is a revolving door for new ‘daddys’ and ‘mommys’ . We are for promiscuity at certain stages of life but.... yes the costs haha

Polyamorous != promiscuous.

Theoretically. But in practice...

Re: Explaining Sex Rate Changes

#120

Post by ycombinete » Mon, Apr 08, 2019, 6:19 AM UTC

titanix2 wrote: post #116

freyir wrote: post #26

As the article points out, fewer young men are having sex, but roughly the same number of young women are having sex. I wonder if dating apps (Tinder, Bumble, etc.) are leading women to have sex with a smaller cohort of desirable men. Years ago, OkCupid noted that a small percentage of men get an overwhelming percentage of messages from women. With the rise of "swipe right, swipe left" mobile dating apps, where peopl…

That’s exactly the theory developed by circles like the red pill. More access to potential partners with less social control lead to a winner take all situation. In addition, and it is addressed in the OP, women try to get partners which are higher on the social scale while men mostly focus on beauty.

Which makes total sense, given the different evolutionary drivers that men and women are motivated by. The problem with most narratives is that they moralize what is essentially an amoral phenomenon.