111–120 of 669 posts
OTOH, yeah it is well written, but great editors will do that for you.
"We should be more honest about the real tradeoffs between endless wanderlust/adventure-seeking and putting down real roots. The things that make for a great instagram feed or Bumble profile are very different from those of permanence that help us live well." (Friend's comment on article) Polly's reply is so shameless (including promoting her own book in the reply) that it's incredible just how badly it missed the po…
"treat yourself like a treasured child" isn't going to help with anyone's concerns or goals. It's vacuous. Women have a ticking clock here in a way men simply do not. I'd tell her "I've been telling you to hurry up and start a family for TEN YEARS"... It's imperative to discuss with your partner your relationship requirements early, otherwise they're unlikely to meet them. If they don't coincide, either make peace or…
I'd argue men still have a ticking clock in some senses. Sure you can still get it up and produce children, but your capacity to engage with them and raise them goes down over time. I certainly would like to be hale and hearty enough to see my kids graduate college and be able to travel to visit my grandkids, for instance.
Producing loin-fruit isn't the end-goal unless you have some kind of royal titles to pass on. For most of us it's just about raising a family.
I could give better advice in a single sentence. To wit, "you should schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to get screened for adult ADHD." These life problems are classic adult ADHD symptoms. Moving cities every few years. Not being able to hold down a long-term relationship. Your "who-knows-what-number" job. Debt from poor and impulsive decisions. Lack of internal drive. Difficulty making and keeping friends.…
What's the solution to that? Ritalin?
Everyone around us is fighting their own little war. I've felt similarly to the writer -- I moved out of my childhood home the day after graduating college and started work that Monday. I only moved 215 miles (NYC to Boston), but it felt a world away, especially considering most Americans live relatively close to where they grew up and 215 miles in Europe goes a long way. I've made and abandoned friends at almost eve…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Perhaps advising other young women from her own experience? Then those years will not have been wasted. On the other hand, if no one learns from her mistake and makes the exact same mistake, then her years will have been wasted.
Certainly. But I am specifically asking 'simonsarris just whom it is he thinks he's helping here, and how, and why.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Recently a family member died who did just that: asked her father to move from the city where he lived to go nearer to her so she could take better care of him. They debated this for a while, he relented, moved to bf nowhere. So far so good. Then, three months later she drops dead of lung cancer. It is very fortunate that I live nearby too, total coincidence, that branch of my family I have very little contact with.…
It is our purposes as humans (IMHO, YMMV) to make life less harsh for those around us. From one internet stranger to another, you are a good person Jacques. We're all just walking each other home.
-- Keith Hebden
For me it's also a way to expand my own life beyond my own life. That is, to take joy in the wellbeing of others, even though I can't feel their wellbeing as they do, still multiplies the joy I can have in life immensely. Compassion can bring sadness, sure, but I think it's more than made up for by the satisfaction it can bring, too. You might say I try to not always be selfish for purely selfish reasons.
In a rather free and bad translation, couldn't find it in English:
> Humans keep themselves in a passable height above hellish depths towards which they gravitate only by using all their powers and helping each other lovingly. Among each other they are connected by strong ropes, and it's bad enough when the ropes around a person get loose and they sink a little lower than the rest into the empty void, and it's horrible when the ropes around a person break and they fall. This is why one should stick with others. I suspect that girls keep us up high because they are so light, that is why we should love the girls and they should love us.
-- Franz Kafka in a letter to Oskar Pollak, 20th December 1903
It's from 1903, so I hope it's possible to enjoy the wisdom and cuteness without getting up on the last sentence :) Also "stick with others" is particularly badly translated and sounds weird, but keep the "lovingly help each other" bit in mind, don't hold my translation against Kafka.
I'm a 29 year TCK who has moved around a lot because I don't actually have a place to call "home". I planned my life around trying to get Permanent Resident status in New Zealand, but now I'm struggling to find a job. My latest idea is to study a certification. Has anybody done this before, and does it work? Will that help me start a career? https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18562295
I should probably add some context. This article was linked several times in "manosphere", including a few response videos. This woman is fine, healthy, relatively young. Men face the very same "invisibility problem" their whole lives.
It rocketed to the front page without any relation to HN's usual topics. And it looked like something that the manosphere/traditionalist/right-wing-droning-youtubers would see as a vindication of their ideas. e.g. https://twitter.com/StefanMolyneux/status/974377252212346880
It is a little strange to have to take one person's letter to an advice columnist and use it as grist for which gender has it worse, but, that's their obsession I guess.
Perhaps people of my age were lucky to have had this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdQbb3FXSEI
> Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup – they all die. So do we.
> And then remember the book about Dick and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and the sane living.
> Think of what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk about 3 o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own messes.
-- Robert Fulghum, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten"