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“Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

theatlantic.com

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Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#101

Post by fareesh »

I think it's important to point out that India is very culturally diverse. I have lived in Mumbai for 22 years, and Canada for 8 years. I have said "thank you" to people all my life. I do it consciously and sincerely - cashiers, rickshaw drivers, waiters, friends, peers, everybody. I don't think I've ever offended anybody - at least not that I know of.

With regard to family - neither of my parents' respective families are overtly religious, and neither of them have Hindu or Muslim ancestries. We say thank you to one another all the time. In fact, I can't relate to what the author is saying at all! In the spirit of sharing/learning about new cultures, here's hoping that the 7% of us (7 million people) aren't painted with this broad brush.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#102

Post by notNow »

marktangotango wrote: post #86
littletimmy wrote: post #49

As a non-American, this was one of the biggest culture shocks I faced. On the surface, relationships in the US seem very transactional (not making the judgment that they are really transactional). For example, in the US a son would thank his parents for paying his college tuition. In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his…

>> In my culture, this would be insulting because it would suggest being distant from family, in the sense that the son ought to believe his parents wealth is his also, and later willingly contribute his earnings when his parents need anything. It is a difference in the degree to which individualism is the norm. This is very interesting, and brings to mind something I've been struggling with recently (I'm USA-ian by…

So, from that angle, I don't want my children to see my wealth as their wealth, or my success as their success. I would like them to view my success as the result of hard work and perseverance, and an example of what they can achieve, indeed, they can achieve more.

I advise to look out for the opposite perspective or angle to this that it might be viewed as a form of abuse, unnecessary harshness or worse meagerness.

Teaching your kids survival skills esp. males and how to be strong in life is very crucial and "tough love" can sometimes yield good results but you don't wanna to break the bond or the good relationship you have between you and your kids in the process.

It is all about their wellbeing and fostering and nurturing this relationship after all, isn't it or am I mistaken?

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#103

Post by Crito »

haphazardeous wrote: post #96
chatwinra wrote: post #70

As an English speaker, I agree with others above that this article misses a huge point about our language. Yes we use thank you a lot, even for some things people may consider 'trite'. I'm from the UK so I use it a HELL of a lot. But I want to call out 2 points based on this: 1. As mentioned above, just thanking someone can turn their day around, and most times I feel rude if I do not say it (that is my cultural upbr…

Are you being slightly passive-aggressive? That's what I understand if I see "Thanks" instead of "Many thanks!"

> "That's what I understand if I see "Thanks" instead of "Many thanks!""

That probably says more about you, or the particular dialect of your region, than him. "Many thanks" is not the predominate phrase for expressing thanks anywhere in that I have been in the continental US.

"Thanks" is only passive aggressive when in a context that makes that clear. It is most often used sincerely. That word alone is never "the tell" for insincerity; something else about the situation is.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#104

Post by [deleted] »

joshyeager wrote: post #99
haphazardeous wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you being slightly passive-aggressive? That's what I understand if I see "Thanks" instead of "Many thanks!"

You see "Thanks" as passive-aggressive? To me it reads as a very straightforward statement that communicates a moderate level of real gratitude.

[deleted]

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#105

Post by ljak »

darkroasted wrote: post #2

As an American, I've sometimes been bothered by the use of thank you. It is fine as a pleasantry at a restaurant. But it always felt odd coming from a boss or from the company CEO. I think to myself, "I didn't do this piece of work as a favor to you, I didn't because you are paying me and you told me to do it." It is interesting to read that this view is more common in other cultures. I also dislike putting "thank yo…

> a modern boss is tolerant, he behaves like a colleague of ours, sharing dirty jokes, inviting us for a drink, openly displaying his weaknesses, admitting that he is “merely human like us”. He is deeply offended if we remind him that he is our boss – however, it is this very rejection of explicit authority that guarantees his de facto power.

> This is why the first gesture of liberation is to force the master to act as one: our only defence is to reject his “warm human” approach and to insist that he should treat us with cold distance. We live in weird times in which we are compelled to behave as if we are free, so that the unsayable is not our freedom but the very fact of our servitude.

- Slavoj Žižek

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#106

Post by logfromblammo »

chatwinra wrote: post #70

As an English speaker, I agree with others above that this article misses a huge point about our language. Yes we use thank you a lot, even for some things people may consider 'trite'. I'm from the UK so I use it a HELL of a lot. But I want to call out 2 points based on this: 1. As mentioned above, just thanking someone can turn their day around, and most times I feel rude if I do not say it (that is my cultural upbr…

I have also heard discussions on the rise of the double thank-you in American English. For a long while, the acknowledgement response to a "thank you" was "you're welcome". But during the last century, it has become more common to respond to a "thank you" with a "thank you".

Usually, in a retail setting, this isn't exactly an even exchange. The business says to the customer "thank you [for your business]" and the customer says to the actual person wearing the employee mantle "thank you [for serving me]". One does not thank an ATM or vending machine, but it is appropriate to thank a human bank teller or retail clerk. We know that the employee has no personal reason to thank us for our business, and we also know that the cash we pay at the register is thanks enough for the corporate body. So we thank the person in front of us.

Implicit in all those little, minor thanks is the acknowledgement that the recipient has the capacity to appreciate gratitude, however minor it may be, and may not get it as often as it is deserved.

This is slightly related to the peer-to-peer double thank you. In that case, each party is thanking the other for their participation in a transaction that yields a mutual benefit. A talk-show host thanks an interviewee for filling airtime on the program, and the guest thanks the host for the use of their distribution platform, or perhaps for the opportunity to show off their temporary fame to their friends. A person selling his car thanks the buyer for trading up from used car to cash, and the buyer thanks the seller for trading up from cash to used car.

This has become so prevalent that saying "you're welcome" in response to a "thank you" now implies that the act was altruistic, which may make those averse to bragging slightly uncomfortable. That would result in a more deprecating acknowledgement, such as "it wasn't any trouble" or "no problem" or "I'm just happy to help".

It seems that the article is saying that in India, a "thank you" is more akin to "this concludes our business for today; please send me your invoice, so that I may settle our accounts". That does not translate to the typical American use of "thank you". It does also translate to that, sometimes, but those uses are marked by intonation and context.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#107

Post by [deleted] »

joshyeager wrote: post #99
haphazardeous wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Are you being slightly passive-aggressive? That's what I understand if I see "Thanks" instead of "Many thanks!"

You see "Thanks" as passive-aggressive? To me it reads as a very straightforward statement that communicates a moderate level of real gratitude.

[deleted]

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#108

Post by learnstats2 »

dagw wrote: post #88
chrisBob wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the standard was to be paid on the 1st and the 15th, but you could opt for one monthly pay check if you had trouble saving for rent with the twice a month schedule. I never really thought about it. Are weekly or monthly that much more common?

Certainly in Norway and Sweden I've never even heard of anybody being paid on any other schedule than once a month (normally on the 25th). Until right now it never really crossed my mind that people with 'regular' jobs would get paid any other way.

This is quite problematic in the UK.

It's common to get your first paycheck ~6 weeks after starting a job, and then always one month in arrears.

I've noticed that employers like to offer bridging "loans" to appear kind and generous, but then this identifies cash-poor employees who are set up for unfair treatment later.

Your employer is struggling to make payroll and can't pay you? You won't find out until you've worked out the whole month.

This situation is not right.

I'm surprised to learn that the US has more a employee-friendly practice in this sense.

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#109

Post by abandonliberty »

tcfunk wrote: post #95

Something I haven't seen anyone bring up is the way that "thank you" or "sorry" are delivered. I'm not familiar enough with other languages to know if they have similar variances in speech, but in english you can very much change the meaning of your message with the tone of your voice or your rate of speech. Nearly any phrase can come off as condescending given the right delivery.

Thank you so much for raising that point.

I've spoken English since childhood and I've still gotten it wrong. So awkward. "No, wait, that sounded sarcastic. I really meant it! Ok, that didn't sound any better. Let me start over."

Re: “Thank You” in Hindi and English Mean Very Different Things

#110

Post by thedaemon »

icebraining wrote: post #90
chrisBob wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the standard was to be paid on the 1st and the 15th, but you could opt for one monthly pay check if you had trouble saving for rent with the twice a month schedule. I never really thought about it. Are weekly or monthly that much more common?

I'm not from the US, and I've never heard of anyone paid biweekly, that's why I found it weird. According to the US Bureau of Labour Statistics, it's actually the most common schedule over there: http://www.bls.gov/opub/btn/volume-3/how-frequently-do-priva...

Bi-weekly means you would get 2 paychecks a week. Did you mean bi-monthly? Also to chime in a bit, I get a paycheck every week.
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