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Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

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Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#101

Post by circlefavshape »

madaxe_again wrote: post #74
k-mcgrady wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> "As I remounted my bike and rode away, it occurred to me that she didn't at any point thank me..." >> "There's not much to be gained from interacting with strangers..." Good on you for stopping to help but why do you feel like you should have to gain something by helping someone else? The woman you helped was still probably quite shocked and dealing with police to thank you and it's highly likely that in such a si…

There quite definitely is something to be gained by helping strangers. 1) Your humanity and self-respect. It feels damnably good to know you've done something to help someone who needed it. 2) Serendipity. Maybe, just maybe, that person that you reach out to will somehow bless your life. Maybe they'll bite you. It's all experience, and a yarn to tell at the least. I don't think that it's that people expect something…

upvoted for being a proper human being

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#102

Post by ryanjshaw »

madaxe_again wrote: post #74
k-mcgrady wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> "As I remounted my bike and rode away, it occurred to me that she didn't at any point thank me..." >> "There's not much to be gained from interacting with strangers..." Good on you for stopping to help but why do you feel like you should have to gain something by helping someone else? The woman you helped was still probably quite shocked and dealing with police to thank you and it's highly likely that in such a si…

There quite definitely is something to be gained by helping strangers. 1) Your humanity and self-respect. It feels damnably good to know you've done something to help someone who needed it. 2) Serendipity. Maybe, just maybe, that person that you reach out to will somehow bless your life. Maybe they'll bite you. It's all experience, and a yarn to tell at the least. I don't think that it's that people expect something…

As somebody who's been in a situation similar to this (fortunately they never got as far as pulling the knife because I stopped traffic), I still find it hard to blame people who don't help - you need to know where to draw the line in help, and it's a very blurry line. Your personal experiences are sadly biased; more than one helpful person has ended up dead because they were out of their depth [1][2][3]. As you say, such is life.

[1] http://blog.er24.co.za/2010/11/young-man-killed-in-good-sama...

[2] http://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-courts/good-samaritan-brutal...

[3] http://www.sowetanlive.co.za/sowetan/archive/2007/10/25/warn...

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#103

Post by joshstrange »

VonGallifrey wrote: post #95
jellicle wrote: post #86

Let's evaluate for real, the cost-benefit of intervening physically against a knife-wielding crazy person: -- Minimum: you'll miss the day of work, have an arrest on your record which you'll have to disclose forever and which may cost you your career, may make it impossible to enter foreign countries, and so on. -- Probable: you'll miss many days of work due to police/legal complications. Significant chance of losing…

I feel like I miss something here. Why would you be arrested for Helping? I can see that you would have a risk of getting hurt or killed by the attacker, but why would you be arrested or killed by the Police?

Google: "attacker sues victim" [0]

Google: "victim sues rescuer" [1]

[0] https://www.google.com/search?q=attacker+sues+victim

[1] https://www.google.com/search?q=victim+sues+rescuer

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#104

Post by metastew »

hollerith wrote: post #90
wozniacki wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You say that as if it's a minor thing ("the only thing I'd expect") but you might be expecting someone to risk their life, get accused of rape by an unstable person, put themselves in danger of injury or lawsuit. It's not a trivial matter. Strongly seconded. This happens more often than one would think. I do not want to alarm anyone but it is not entirely out of the bounds of reason to expect law enforcement to NOT a…

That guy did not leave after the police arrived and told him to leave (according to his own account, at the URL you give).

But does that even justify the police brutality though? He didn't want to leave without his friend (who was supporting the girl while she was getting up when the police pulled him off).

No, the police is definitely in the wrong here.

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#106

Post by jwmoz »

hobbes wrote: post #4

Give her the phone! GIVE HER THE PHONE!! edit: OK, I'm being downvoted. That's fine. But, why put your irreplaceable life in mortal danger for the sake of keeping hold of replaceable consumer electronics? That's the disconnect I'm finding hard to process.

Agreed. The fact someone would potentially risk their lives over a mobile phone is beyond me.

And also, did the OP not consider the potential consequences of throwing a boiling drink in the face of another person armed with a knife?

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#107

Post by peterwwillis »

> I know San Francisco is a tight-knit community, and we like to think that we’d jump to help one another.

Really? Have you SEEN the homeless population there? Who the fuck is helping them?

> But what the hell was that? I’ve read all the psychology books. I know the typical explanations.

....then why are you asking? It's bystander effect, plain and simple. If you're expecting San Franciscans to go against human nature just because they write code, sorry, ain't gonna happen.

Get some pepper spray and some self defense classes and learn to fight dirty. Don't blame other people for not saving you; they have no obligation to.

> Is this how disconnected from the real world we’ve become?

It's how disconnected the author has become. I'm glad she's now got perspective on how the real world works. (I'm also glad she came out of that safe and sound; sounds like a really scary fucked up situation)

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#108

Post by ChrisArchitect »

hard to believe this is true, I'm in Toronto and some of the dark corners of US society are alien....but it's just sad. And I shouldn't have spent too much time reading the comments on here about hypothetical not-helping scenarios etc. sigh. Tough situation/sad.

Re: Stop Leaning In. Put Down Your IPhone. And HELP ME.

#109

Post by kagebe »

IanDrake wrote: post #91

Wow, scary stuff. I've been there with crazy people, alone, at night, at a T-stop in Boston. One thing you can do, is put your keys in your hand, and make a fist with the keys pointed outward from your knuckles. That will make punches way more effective and one good punch could blind your assailant, which is exactly what you want to do. Another thing to consider is getting a gun or at least supporting gun rights. Not…

> If someone was caring a gun, they could have helped. If she were caring, then she could have put an end to this nightmare herself.

No, that is not how it would work out in most (if not all) cases. Especially not in such a public place. And especially not if the gun was contained in something, e.g. her purse.

Even if that person were a great shot, in a (even moderately) close combat fight with a knife-wielder, she would most likely not be able to pull/unlock the gun before being stabbed, or miss and/or hit others or just be plain too scared/untrained to keep that much control.

Even if it worked, there would be the question of ethics and legality of wounding/killing another person to save her possessions. The legality may not be an issue in (many states in) the US, but even there not always a clear case and most likely will have some legal procedure.

If she were able to use the gun for intimidation and get the assailant to run away, that might work, but the attacker is obviously beyond quite some normal mental restrictions when threatening to kill her in a public place and might not easily be deterred.

Guns are the perfect tool for killing people when you know you want/plan to kill people. They are effective in wounding too, if you're able to hit where it doesn't kill. They are mostly useless in not getting wounded/killed by someone who wants to wound/kill you.

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