101–110 of 122 posts
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That Wikipedia article scares me more than the Serial Killer one. This dumb SOB is still a cop & was installed in a leadership position. Where the F#?k is Dexter when you need him?
> Where the F#?k is Dexter when you need him? Vigilantism is not the answer.
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Yeah, there's certainly an 'art' to being direct as well. So having said that, it's kind of tricky to pinpoint what was creepy about this guy and what's kind of fair game. I mean, my feeling is that it's almost anachronistic to get worked up about this in 2013. Before he killed anybody, this guy got off the hook incredibly easy for drugging/raping a minor (and getting caught red handed!), as I understand was often th…
> how much safer would this guy be if they'd done the standard 'Hey, you're cool, let's add eachother on Facebook' or 'Can you text me your address'? A minimal digital 'paper trail' would probably give a guy like this a lot of pause, and if he'd been hesitant/weird about those interactions, it'd probably be even more of a clue for even a young guy. I guess being a serial killer is an iterative process. You start clum…
Not to be too pedantic about a hypothetical, but that would give away his ulterior motive a whole lot sooner. I only quibble because there are a thousand ways that modest technology use could snag someone or raise red flags. What if someone had called him on his phone while he was hanging out with this guy? "Oh I'm at the corner of x and x hanging out with a new friend". What if he took a picture of that guy? What if the occasional GTA session and hooking up with dudes on hook-up sites sublimated a lot of the killer's darker urges? Or what if, in a more connected world a lot more accepting of gay people, he just moved to Maine and bought a house with a boyfriend?
I'm sure we can go back and forth about a lot of things like this, but the bottom line is that there has been a massive reduction in violent crime in the last decade or so; I think technology has been a major factor.
If any of your would like to read more about "underrated" serial killers after this harrowing story, Albert Fish comes to mind. Even just the wikipedia article is about as scary a horror tale as they come. Many friends have been unable to finish reading: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Fish
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This gay story, as well as one (especially) of the comments on the actual article, and your comment; something's very wrong with all three. I was about to ask if I'm the only one who sees that, but if you were downvoted, I guess I'm not. I'm glad because seriously: WTH. EDIT: Actually, the reason for the downvotes is probably the fact that it has nothing to do with hacking.
Please give some thought to whether you might be intolerant before blaming your reaction on others. The specific things that "turn your stomach" here are a) men enjoying the admiration of other men, b) some commenters saying (a) was beautifully written, and c) further discussion of sexuality in the HN comments. You can't articulate why those three things bother you, but I am going to guess it's because you're not com…
What disturbs me in this story is the described hypnotism. The snake almost manipulated the guy who is clear as day about having not one bit of interest in the same sex. To make him strip is brain washing. Had the marine been attracted to the same sex, I would be less disturbed.
Now consider the following. Perhaps it is not me who is intolerant, but perhaps you lack perspective. Bear with me, I bore with you: Imagine that the story was of a sadistic straight rapist. The almost-victim must be completely uninterested in sex; if you cannot imagine such a level of purity, imagine a lesbian. Now imagine that someone comments on the survival story of this kind that she wrote using words like "wonderful". Is that a normal reaction? And then someone asks the almost-victim if the experience has made the victim less willing to have sex with men. Now you're coming from the same place I'm coming from. (cue people calling you a bigot)
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> For instance, prisoners were frequently asked to make statements so mildly anti-American or pro-Communist as to seem inconsequential (“The United States is not perfect.” “In a Communist country, unemployment is not a problem.”). This is a great technique because most people's beliefs about most things are shallow and weak. Anyone even slightly versed will quickly flip those ("You know what we call a system with no…
Cialdini has a different take on it in his analysis, which hangs this on a much lower level tendency that cannot be easily overcome by education - consistency pressure. The idea is that the prospect of being perceived as wishy-washy is so devastating socially, that we have evolved to actually change our self-image and our beliefs to reflect our actions and words. There's a scary amount of evidence for this effect. Th…
Being smarter makes this effect worse, usually because someone who is smart (or likes to see themselves as smart) and likes to argue, are typically disconnected with their emotions, not because they put argue themselves into a corner. They seek social acceptance by being right, often because they lack emotional skills to work with acceptance and rejection.
It's not really about being dumb or smart. It's really having attachments to self-image. There's this maxim: if you have no pride, then you have no shame. Without attachment, you let your self image go, and the shame goes along with it. You laugh at your folly and have a good time :-)
I will note, the methods the sociopath used on the Marine is pretty much the same kind of methods pick up artists use for seducing women, even down to the "you have to get them away from their friends."
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This gay story, as well as one (especially) of the comments on the actual article, and your comment; something's very wrong with all three. I was about to ask if I'm the only one who sees that, but if you were downvoted, I guess I'm not. I'm glad because seriously: WTH. EDIT: Actually, the reason for the downvotes is probably the fact that it has nothing to do with hacking.
When you say gay story what do you mean? I'm straight but i don't think this is gay story, it involves homosexual momentum, like, let's say Naked Lunch, but is not pro or even against gays. Author really tried to make neutral view about everything and he tried to make human analysis of situation in which he was involved.
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That Wikipedia article scares me more than the Serial Killer one. This dumb SOB is still a cop & was installed in a leadership position. Where the F#?k is Dexter when you need him?
> Where the F#?k is Dexter when you need him? Vigilantism is not the answer.
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> Being too direct is a huge turn off so Yes, and no. Being "too direct" can be fantastically effective if you can back it up with sufficient confidence, and can manage to make it look natural rather than creepy. It works exactly because the confidence and making it look natural thing is rare enough to make you stand out in a way that often produces very rapid and strong attraction. E.g. in a bar, it shocked me years…
Yeah, there's certainly an 'art' to being direct as well. So having said that, it's kind of tricky to pinpoint what was creepy about this guy and what's kind of fair game. I mean, my feeling is that it's almost anachronistic to get worked up about this in 2013. Before he killed anybody, this guy got off the hook incredibly easy for drugging/raping a minor (and getting caught red handed!), as I understand was often th…
In this case, I would hazard most straight guys who read this article and feel disturbed are disturbed that someone can induce a state of homosexual attraction within them. Further, aside from the obvious fear of homosexual attraction, there's also the empathy for women who are subjected to methods like this.
It's easy to rationalize some form of this behavior as "fair game". Would you still consider it fair game if you put yourself in that Marine's shoes, or in a woman's shoes, being subject to methods like this? Maybe, maybe not.
The sociopath sees his victims as an object, as something that he can play with and exercises his power. He gets off on being able to take a straight guy -- and I suppose, one idealized in the form of an ultra-macho Marine -- and seduce him, the power to turn him into something he is not. (Then kill him).
No one likes being treated like an object.
I've seen this kind of rationalization in many of the pick-up artist material, rendering the person into an object. Sometimes, the rationalization covers up their own sense of helplessness and impotency ("Stop putting women on a pedestal!" "Some people are afraid of the power of these techniques!") But that covers up the main issue: there's a particular shadow side to masculinity, where lust consumes the brain and the person who attracted you stops being a person and becomes an object to fulfill that lust. Further, it is related to another shadow side, that men want to feel that they have power over women and can conquer them. (And likewise, some women know this and exploit this emotional vulnerability).
There is some wisdom in the sociopath, in particular, being detached from being consumed by impulses and emotions. Sociopaths though, lack empathy. They lack the ability to feel as others do, and so will do some destructive things.
It's entirely possible to use the methods from the PUA community with empathy (and perhaps, compassion) ... but you know, in order to do that, you first have to get in touch with your own emotions. Most men tend to be wimpy about going deep within themselves or surrendering to truth and wisdom.
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When you say gay story what do you mean? I'm straight but i don't think this is gay story, it involves homosexual momentum, like, let's say Naked Lunch, but is not pro or even against gays. Author really tried to make neutral view about everything and he tried to make human analysis of situation in which he was involved.
I said elsewhere that it reads like serial killer fan fiction. The fan that would write such a story would be gay. I hope I'm beginning to make some sense, if not, please ask more questions.