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Re: undefined

#101

Post by menloparkbum »

time_management wrote: post #74
endtime wrote: post #31

in my observation, quality women are pretty much universally opposed to casual sex I'm not advocating anything here, but have you really found that to be true? I've known plenty of people of both genders who aren't exactly chaste, and I wouldn't consider them low quality people.

My use of the word "quality" refers to their personal qualities that are relevant to relationships. I don't mean that people who do this can't be interesting and worthwhile people, but they're certainly not the type of people you want to marry.

My use of the word "quality" refers to their personal qualities that are relevant to relationships.

Your choice of language sets you up as a sexist and undermines whatever point you are trying to make. Ranchers say "quality livestock" and butchers say "quality meat." Your phrase "quality women" is dehumanizing and sexist in itself. If you were talking about "quality blacks" or "quality asians" there'd be no ambiguity about whether you were being racist.

Re: undefined

#102

Post by time_management »

menloparkbum wrote: post #101
time_management wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My use of the word "quality" refers to their personal qualities that are relevant to relationships. I don't mean that people who do this can't be interesting and worthwhile people, but they're certainly not the type of people you want to marry.

My use of the word "quality" refers to their personal qualities that are relevant to relationships. Your choice of language sets you up as a sexist and undermines whatever point you are trying to make. Ranchers say "quality livestock" and butchers say "quality meat." Your phrase "quality women" is dehumanizing and sexist in itself. If you were talking about "quality blacks" or "quality asians" there'd be no ambiguity…

I hear phrases like "quality men", "quality women", "quality dating partners", et cetera, quite often and have never taken these terms to be sexist. "Quality person", in this case, is shorthand for "one who has the desired personal qualities for the relevant context". In this case, the relevant context is a romantic relationship.

Re: undefined

#103

Post by sho »

time_management wrote: post #96
sho wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I'm not going to reply to most of this" Because you can't? "The "equipment" may be "built right in", but its purpose is not to be used lightly and indiscriminately." This is just your opinion. You offer nothing to back it up. "Look around at the sorts of people who have a lot of casual sex. Do you seriously want them to be highly represented in humanity's genetic future" Yes? Of course? Why ever not? They are humans…

Because you can't? No, because it would be tiring and pointless, and I'm never going to convince you that you're wrong anyway. The two words are practically synonyms. One gains skill through experience. Again, go try and get a job and use that line. Quality of experience matters a lot more than quantity. Having had sex with 10 or more different people does not make a person good in bed. In fact, it probably means tha…

You definitely could convince me, if there was any substance to what you said. I'm highly rational and you can find numerous examples of me swallowing my pride and conceding a point. You offer nothing, though, except mere opinions. Since it's you who seeks to impose guidelines on others' behaviour, the onus is upon you to justify your claims.

Quality of experience matters a lot more than quantity.

Do you ever get the feeling that a lot of your beliefs seem to be suspiciously self-serving?

Having had sex with 10 or more different people does not make a person good in bed.

All other things being equal, having had sex with 10 people is objectively better than having had sex with 1 person. I don't even know why I have to point such an obvious, indisputable fact. I mean - it's just laughable. You might as well tell me that having 10 times the programming experience does not make you a better programmer. Well, I guess occasionally it doesn't but .. 99 times out of 100 it sure as fuck does, actually.

In fact, it probably means that he or she sucks for two reasons.

Oh man, here we go ..

1. People who can get meet their sexual goals easily have no incentive to learn how to do anything right.

You know, this is utterly laughable and I am beginning to suspect you have no sexual experience whatsoever. Firstly, they would learn through pure trial and error. Secondly, of course they want to give a good "performance", for reasons of simple pride.

You have no idea what you are talking about.

2. If he were talented at all, he'd probably be able to find something more fulfilling, which would mean more long-term relationships and less time to rack up a number.

Again you wrongly assume that everyone else shares your priorities. I know many people for whom variety and meeting new people is more "fulfilling" than the drudgery and same-same of a long term relationship. Racking up a number has nothing to do with it. You just don't understand.

Your beliefs are nothing but a self-constructed delusion to explain away your lack of poon. You can't get it, so you convince yourself you don't want it, so you can maintain your self-esteem. Now I understand this post you've started is nothing but a new angle on the same thing - now you're trying to construct a new excuse for yourself, that you don't want girls because you're working on your startup, and that's why, not because you couldn't get any!

Utterly pathetic.

Re: undefined

#104

Post by patrickg-zill »

time_management wrote: post #18
patrickg-zill wrote: post #14

Welcome to the messy, illogical thing called life. No one has exactly the "right" answer. I would point out that a good relationship should enhance your life rather than diminish it. Maybe you are dating the wrong kind or pursuing the wrong kind?

I live in the US, so finding the "right kind" of woman is difficult. 85 percent (or more) of them are too selfish to have any long-term potential. The saying comes to mind about how, in the US, it's very easy to find a great job and very hard to find a decent woman, as opposed to the other way around in most of the world. If I decide that getting married and having kids is a serious priority of mine, I'm probably goi…

The good ones do often go early, because they don't have the "issues" to begin with or have parental help to work them out.

As I am married to someone not originally from the USA I would emphasize that there are societal issues you will have to deal with, but they can be worked around. Living overseas is actually a great idea in any case.

Re: undefined

#105

Post by michaelkeenan »

shard wrote: post #59
randomwalker wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well, that already happened. Kind of. Also, she's been on other dates, but didn't end up getting involved. We're both perfectly cool with it. Like I said, there is no emotional/romantic attachment. Why is this hard to believe? [edit] At any rate, the main point I was making was to keep the relationship low-key, if you don't want it to affect your work productivity.

edb is skeptical (as am I) because people are good at deceiving themselves, e.g. I'm not racist/sexist, I can quit drinking/smoking/snorting anytime I want, all my relationships fail because the other person is a jerk/bitch/slut, my code contains no bugs. Until the test coverage is high, your confidence at how correct your code/assumptions are should be low.

Some skepticism is fair, but notice that - because non-monogamous relationships are somewhat socially unacceptable - we'll perceive them to be less common than they are, because people don't talk about them. So randomwalker's situation might be more common than you might think.

Re: undefined

#106

Post by time_management »

sho wrote: post #103
time_management wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because you can't? No, because it would be tiring and pointless, and I'm never going to convince you that you're wrong anyway. The two words are practically synonyms. One gains skill through experience. Again, go try and get a job and use that line. Quality of experience matters a lot more than quantity. Having had sex with 10 or more different people does not make a person good in bed. In fact, it probably means tha…

You definitely could convince me, if there was any substance to what you said. I'm highly rational and you can find numerous examples of me swallowing my pride and conceding a point. You offer nothing, though, except mere opinions. Since it's you who seeks to impose guidelines on others' behaviour, the onus is upon you to justify your claims. Quality of experience matters a lot more than quantity. Do you ever get the…

I'm glad to see that you've resorted to personal attacks. Perhaps it's because you secretly know that you're doing something wrong, and I'm striking a nerve.

If it matters, I actually have had a fairly satisfying love life. However, I've never saw fit to fill my single spells with the heartless and self-serving debasement of women. Not that my personal life is any of your business, but I thought you should know.

Your behavior (if it's anything like what you espouse online) is digging you into a deep hole. Enjoy being unable to find a worthwhile partner for the long term, and dying alone.

Re: undefined

#107

Post by michaelkeenan »

time_management wrote: post #27
sokoloff wrote: post #11

In a stable and good relationship, my work is dramatically better in quality, even if the quantity of hours spent on work is slightly lower than when I'm single and not bothering to "chase". During past bad relationships, or phases when I was "racking up a number", my work was definitely impaired. How did I prevent it? I suppose I didn't, but I mostly just worried about being a decent human being to people I know, an…

My jaded and unfortunate observation is that most women tend to focus on "number" in the other direction. If your number's lower than theirs, even if that's largely by choice, they don't respect you because you're not "alpha" enough to be worthy of their time. At least, this is what I've observed in the American dating scene; the rest of the world is utterly different. The big problem is that American women are prone…

The big problem is that American women are prone to "groupthink", and judge a man's desirability based on how attractive they presume other women to find him...Women in the rest of the world are a lot more independent-minded and don't fall to this.

No, I think that might be human nature.

Re: undefined

#109

Post by menloparkbum »

time_management wrote: post #106
sho wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You definitely could convince me, if there was any substance to what you said. I'm highly rational and you can find numerous examples of me swallowing my pride and conceding a point. You offer nothing, though, except mere opinions. Since it's you who seeks to impose guidelines on others' behaviour, the onus is upon you to justify your claims. Quality of experience matters a lot more than quantity. Do you ever get the…

I'm glad to see that you've resorted to personal attacks. Perhaps it's because you secretly know that you're doing something wrong, and I'm striking a nerve. If it matters, I actually have had a fairly satisfying love life. However, I've never saw fit to fill my single spells with the heartless and self-serving debasement of women. Not that my personal life is any of your business, but I thought you should know. Your…

I've never saw fit to fill my single spells with the heartless and self-serving debasement of women.

Groan. Your stupid off-topic comments about this are really messing up my /newcomments page. Has anyone made a HN killfile greasemonkey type thing for kooks like you?

I do have one bit of advice... You could drive your camaro from Long Island down to Alabama, and hang out in the parking lot of the high schools where they are having a "purity ball." There you may find the women you have been dreaming of.

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