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Your high level buckets are languages but the constraints you list are usage patterns. You can build applications in any language that have many short-lived transactions in single connections or a few huge, blocking one, or anything in between. The former case is a good one for PGBouncer (it can interleave transactions) and the latter isn’t (it can’t do much about your three minute long BEGIN…COMMIT). Neither has to…
Languages have affordances. At the extreme ends are PHP, and Java or Go. PHP runs a separate logical process on every request which can't share resources with any other request. Almost everyone using Go is writing a long-running server process because that's how the libraries are designed. Almost everyone using Java is writing a long-running process or a module for one, because Java startup times are obscene. Java al…
PHP allows persistent connections to postgres that will be reused by subsequent requests. But of course the connection isn't shared by concurrent requests (unless you use Swoole), so it doesn't solve the process-per-connection on postgres' side, it merely saves some overhead.