40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households • Hacker News Board

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#101

Post by imtringued » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 9:35 AM UTC

prewett wrote: post #80

expedition32 wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It triggers conservatives and Christians who believe in the nuclear family and biblical lifestyle. They despise liberty and agency.

Western ideas of liberty and agency came out of 1500 years of Christian. Christians put limits on liberty and agency, but that's very different than despising it. Even from an atheistic standpoint, current levels of liberty and agency are clearly evolutionarily unfit. The fertility rate of Christians (and other conservative religious people) are at or above replacement level, which means that the unlimited liberty an…

This is something people don't seem to understand when it comes to pairing up and forming families. If there is no reliable method to do so and you leave it up to chance, then what's gonna happen? Of course, people will stop forming families at the rate they used to.

In a society where people only have enough children to replace themselves, having people without children means that society will slowly fade away and disappear.

There are a bunch of modern ideologies that don't try to understand or even deny that having children is the most powerful kind of democracy in life. When you are having children, you're essentially saying "I want more people like myself in this world". Under this premise, the western world is saying "I don't want to be here anymore".

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#102

Post by e40 » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 10:46 AM UTC

mindslight wrote: post #76

xnx wrote: post #61

Part of the "housing crisis" is older Americans aging-in-place and using way more home than they need too. A widow/er might occupy the same suburban single family home in retirement that could house 5 people.

For sure, but this is tied into the elder care crisis. My aunt is the sole occupant of a gigantic "2 family" [0]. Not even in the suburbs, but in what you'd describe as a small city downtown. She toys with the idea of assisted living, but the deal basically seems to be trading her house to buy in, and then a huge monthly ongoing fee. And we all know once you're in such a place, the rosy marketing about the care you'r…

My mother is in this situation. All of the assisted living facilities in mher area are either owned by Private Equity or are way too expensive. She has no choice other than to age in place. It’s terrifying for both of us.

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#103

Post by watwut » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 11:53 AM UTC

prewett wrote: post #80

expedition32 wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It triggers conservatives and Christians who believe in the nuclear family and biblical lifestyle. They despise liberty and agency.

Western ideas of liberty and agency came out of 1500 years of Christian. Christians put limits on liberty and agency, but that's very different than despising it. Even from an atheistic standpoint, current levels of liberty and agency are clearly evolutionarily unfit. The fertility rate of Christians (and other conservative religious people) are at or above replacement level, which means that the unlimited liberty an…

Oh please, Christianity is no source of liberty. And as of now, conservative Christians are all about restricting liberty, that is literally their project. Conservative christianity despises liberty, but is all about forcing women into births and relationships they dont want and that harm them.

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#104

Post by firmretention » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 1:13 PM UTC

whywhywhywhy wrote: post #32

latexr wrote: post #6

If more people lived together with friends, that’d make a dent in both the housing and loneliness crises.

Living close to friends and having a community that knows/supports each other helps a lot but living with friends is a good way to end up with less friends. Someone you can stand being around all day is very different than someone you really enjoy spending a few hours a month with.

I can attest to this. My best friend and I have known each other for almost 24 years, and we still talk/hang out regularly. We lived together for about a year in our early 20s and that did NOT go well. Luckily it didn't kill the friendship, but things were definitely tense for a while.

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#105

Post by pepperball » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 1:17 PM UTC

OGEnthusiast wrote: post #90

JumpCrisscross wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You definitely havent had bad roommates if you say that I lived in New York in an illegally-subdivided loft. Yes, I’ve had bad roommates. Yes, it felt overwhelming at first. And yes, I got over it, constraining the problem where possible and addressing it directly where necessary, a suite of skills that were probably instrumental in my start-up later working.

Not accusing you of this directly, but this sounds like trying to get people to just accept lower living standards.

Expect a lot more of this.

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#106

Post by joshstrange » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 2:41 PM UTC

CalRobert wrote: post #68

Even as new homes are much bigger than decades past…

I'm building a house currently and I really wish there were more options to have the things I want without needing all the extra space in places I don't care about. The problem is, even if I was able to build such a house (I'm using a large builder, this is not a fully custom house) the resale prospects would be poor.

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#107

Post by JumpCrisscross » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 2:46 PM UTC

whywhywhywhy wrote: post #81

JumpCrisscross wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Someone you can stand being around all day is very different than someone you really enjoy spending a few hours a month with One is a friend. The other an acquaintance.

This isn't true at all and a pretty ridiculous statement. How someone lives in their own home has no impact on what their company is like in the outside world. Someone could be a bit of a hoarder, not do the dishes often enough, stay up to 3am listening to music none of that has anything to do with how good of a friend they are but it does matter if you live with them.

> Someone could be a bit of a hoarder, not do the dishes often enough, stay up to 3am listening to music

If someone is doing that while living with someone whom it’s bothering to the point of wanting to change living situations, there is a disconnect of empathy that betrays that it isn’t a friendship.

(Granted, my original comment was honing in on the “few hours a month” bit. That’s fine for maintaining a friendship. But not for building one. Again, it’s perfectly adequate for making acquaintances.)

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#108

Post by JumpCrisscross » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 2:49 PM UTC

SketchySeaBeast wrote: post #66

JumpCrisscross wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Someone you can stand being around all day is very different than someone you really enjoy spending a few hours a month with One is a friend. The other an acquaintance.

Nah, the differences that can make for a dynamic friendship can be the ones that prevent cohabitation. If you're friends you don't have to care that they like to play loud music at 2 am, but you do when you live together. I have/had friends whose pickiness/slovenliness was fine until we tried to live together, and then all that became a personality clash. It's entirely possible to have strong friendships with people…

I’m not saying someone isn’t a friend if you can’t live together long term. But if you can’t “stand being around” someone “all day,” they’re clearly less than a friend.

If my friends fell on hard times, they’d have a place to crash. I cannot say that of everyone I hang out with because not all of them are people whom I’d (a) enjoy being around and (b) trust to respect my boundaries (and trust myself to be tolerant of their incongruities with my preferences).

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#109

Post by polishdude20 » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 4:14 PM UTC

silexia wrote: post #77

The best thing I ever did for my mental health was to start having children. Humans, like every other living creature, are hardwired by billions of years of evolution to reproduce.

What specifically do you think helped?

Re: 40M Americans Live Alone, 29% of households

#110

Post by DrPimienta » Fri, Jan 23, 2026, 6:43 PM UTC

OGEnthusiast wrote: post #82

JumpCrisscross wrote: post #43

When I was a twentysomething, I had roommates. This saved money on rent and bulk purchases (which let me spend more time having fun and save money) and provided a starter-kit social circle in a new city. It also honed conflict-resolution skills and ability to be civil. And when I got a partner, it made moving in together smoother. Something I’ve noticed recently is many college graduates living alone. That’s fine. Bu…

There's a huge gamble with roommates that you might be stuck with someone terrible in a year (or longer) lease. Most people who can afford to live alone would prefer to have their own place. This is just a sign that people are getting richer (since this same trend is happening in all first-world countries).

If the number of young people who can buy homes is going down and the number of young people that can afford to start families is also going down then how are people getting richer?

This is a sign of social isolation, not wealth.