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The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

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Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#101

Post by groestl »

moooo99 wrote: post #89
yomismoaqui wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's just a matter of developing some self control. Be conscious about when you really need your phone (using it to pay or as your ticket) vs using is to pass time (doom scrolling X or HN)

It certainly is when you only look at the social media aspect of it. But always carrying a phone with you also brings an availability aspect with it. I know that saying "develop some self control" is usually a well intended advice, but it is very challenging for some people considering they are carrying their "trigger" basically everywhere.

My phone is always on silent mode. As is, AFAIK, the phone of all my friends.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#102

Post by gniv »

delis-thumbs-7e wrote: post #9

I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…

> (is it an American thing?)

I don't know if the author is American but americanos are not an American thing so they are likely not in the US.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#103

Post by rdiddly »

moooo99 wrote: post #25
delis-thumbs-7e wrote: post #9

I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

It's important to challenge that assumption.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#104

Post by gniv »

DenisM wrote: post #95
moooo99 wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…

Get two phones. One for carrying around, lock it down 100% with parental controls against all distractions. The other one unlocked. Parental controls are underrated.

I'm thinking more and more of doing that, but prompted by the fact that the phone is a second-factor authenticator for so many things. I really don't want to lose that phone. I should just leave it home and carry another one just for urgent stuff.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#105

Post by lifetimerubyist »

cm2012 wrote: post #69
unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

Some people just call this "meditation".

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#107

Post by 2b3a51 »

jmkni wrote: post #40

I love sitting alone in Wetherspoons, and working, it's actually perfect because: - None of my colleagues, and nobody in any of my social circles, would ever be seen dead there - You meet the best people, everyones really nice - Nobody judges anybody, we're all just there go get a bit pissed, lots of people socialising, some people are there doing a crossword, I'm just a guy sitting on my laptop coding, nobody cares…

Can recommend the Mediterranean side salad and a bowl of roasted veg off the side menu if you are hungry.

In the centre of the city there are three spoons. One for the people with tattoos on their knuckles (near the magistrates' court oddly - I used to pick up gossip in the barbers round the corner but he has been bought out so the building can be converted in to 'luxury apartments'), one for the old geezers with leather jackets and a third very large one opposite a conference centre. This latter one very well managed and always a seat. All kinds of people but never rammed.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#108

Post by munificent »

gniv wrote: post #102
delis-thumbs-7e wrote: post #9

I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…

> (is it an American thing?) I don't know if the author is American but americanos are not an American thing so they are likely not in the US.

> americanos are not an American thing

Certainly every coffeeshop here in Seattle has them and and I expect most do elsewhere too.

Espresso has taken over coffeeshops such that some won't also have drip coffee anymore and if that's what you want, an Americano is approximately how to get it.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#109

Post by 2b3a51 »

rambambram wrote: post #71
jmkni wrote: post #40

I love sitting alone in Wetherspoons, and working, it's actually perfect because: - None of my colleagues, and nobody in any of my social circles, would ever be seen dead there - You meet the best people, everyones really nice - Nobody judges anybody, we're all just there go get a bit pissed, lots of people socialising, some people are there doing a crossword, I'm just a guy sitting on my laptop coding, nobody cares…

Apparently Wetherspoons is British? Never heard of it. Now I'm curious to the characters inside, got some memorable anecdotes?

The Lord Rosebery, Westborough, Scarborough. Friday around 6pm. Plenty of people watching potential. You sort of have to be there.

Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café

#110

Post by tzone »

cm2012 wrote: post #69
unsungNovelty wrote: post #50

Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…

Trying to sit still for 30 min without any stimulation at all (no talking, watching, reading) sounds like torture to me.

I think it depends on what counts as doing nothing. Every time I cut my hair, I sit in a chair for ~30minutes silently without doing anything. My barber knows I don't like small talk so he just cuts my hair and that's it, there is no conversation.

I would say it is very enjoyable 30 minutes every time I do it. I don't think anyone would describe that kind of experience as hard to do?

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