When someone says you must RTO to a place like San Francisco or Seattle just respond that you will require a 250% pay raise for real estate cost differences. Might help change zoning policy in those cities too if managers and executives see that the entire local economy is basically an elaborate machine to funnel money to property owners with extra steps like employment.
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I live in a MCOL city with all the modern amenities and on $150k can be a comfortably upper-middle class sole income earner, buy the average house, and send 2 kids to private school if needed.
A 2-3x pay differential is a fairly accurate COL difference for a family moving to NY or SF, maybe even on the low end if comparing to a rural area.