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The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
101–110 of 325 posts
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#102This is once of the things that remote work/homeworking may enable, if companies don't succeed in taking it away. If people can rely on getting remote work, they can arrange their living situation to improve the rest of their life, instead of for work: - young people living in large halls, to improve their dating prospects - groups of friends living close together across job moves, enabling longer term friendships -…
Only for the upper class. The lower class still has to go man the gas stations, grocery stores, warehouses, and factories.
Yes, this is true. I'm not sure that the opportunity should be foregone for that reason, but it would widen the cultural and living standard has between the classes.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#103I hate those types of "research" that base all their "findings" on observation of what is undesirable primitive living. What's more they don't even meaningfully quantify what can be qualified as neglect or abuse. My opinion as well as my own experience is that those children are far more likely to be subjected to much higher levels of abuse and neglect in this type of situation. As someone who has been neglected by h…
I’ve been down this alley. No-one will understand you.
Now I just moved back to being a normal person seemingly integrated and all in favour of feminism and all this shit, and I just laugh internally every time a woman tells me “I have been raped.” In my city, they add “But don’t tell anyone, it will make people racist.” Every. Single. Time. Ahh, it’s already bad enough that I know several of them.
Not very healthy, but you have to admit that you can’t do anything about it, they’re not asking you for advice before they do it. So just take that popcorn and move on. Kids being disenfranchised? Kids abandoned? Needing state benefits for studies because they only have a single monster as a parent? Cousin getting mugged on the street? Throwing away a perfectly working system? Promoting the criminals while abandoning the adorable pupils?
Take some distance. You can’t do anything. And if you promote the good thing, they’ll take revenge upon you. People actually want all of those quirks in the system.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#104> childcare needs to give parents an actual break. In my experience caring for your small children is really demanding work. On the one hand you need to be focused on the situation in order to protect the children and on the other hand there is not much going on for entertaining yourself. Creative or focused deep work where you get a positive feeling of accomplishment also counts as a break from childcare for me. So…
> In my experience caring for your small children is really demanding work. On the one hand you need to be focused on the situation in order to protect the children
I expected this going into having children, but I was surprised at how much I actually enjoyed it. Yes, it’s more active work than sitting in front of a computer, but for me personally I’ve found it much less demanding than my jobs.
> and on the other hand there is not much going on for entertaining yourself.
Honestly, I don’t identify with this either. At least not since my children were more than 6-7 months old. Playing with kids is a lot of fun once you get into it. We go on a lot of adventures around the neighborhood and beyond where everything is new and exciting to them. It’s like they’ve re-opened the wonder of the world for me.
On the other hand, I have some friends who struggle with parenting because they approach it more as babysitting than as quality time with their kids. For them, it’s just a matter of passing time until they can go do something else. That’s a minority of my friends, though.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#105Earlier quoted context omitted.
> living walking distance to close family is one of the biggest quality of life upgrades one could make And yet those with the power to change this situation choose not to. We have to work in office buildings located in expensive commercial districts with small homes/accomodation and no real community, or spend hours commuting each week if we want to live in the suburbs. After a few decades we earn enough money to es…
If there weren't so many cars and the associated danger, it'd be easier to use public spaces and not feel like your "small" apartment is cramped. I bought a house and miss my 2-bedroom apartment. Enough that my wife and I are considering moving back into an apartment and renting out our house.
It doesn't help either that outdated fire codes pretty much dictate apartments in the US to follow the double-loaded hallway pattern which makes apartments less pleasant and makes it hard to build ones that are pleasant for families. https://www.niskanencenter.org/how-to-build-more-family-size...
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#106> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…
I think it's not really about responding to 100% of a child demands, it's maybe even detrimental, and probably better to start teaching him patience, and let him learn what to do in boredom. But the other part is having long and meaningful activities/experiences with a child
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Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#107> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…
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Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#108Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think it's not really about responding to 100% of a child demands, it's maybe even detrimental, and probably better to start teaching him patience, and let him learn what to do in boredom. But the other part is having long and meaningful activities/experiences with a child
We decry "demands" when we should acknowledge "dependencies;" kids won't properly compile without their needs met.
The question here is one of alignment. I child may think "I need to eat right now" but that doesn't necessarily mean the "right now" part is correct.
Open world problems are difficult to define, even the word 'properly' you use has a vast amount of interpretability as to what you believe the 'proper' outcome should be.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#109> the researchers say that children may be "evolutionarily primed" to expect exceptionally high levels of physical contact and care, What strikes me here is the phrase, "exceptionally high levels." I imagine children need a "normal" level of care; it's only "exceptionally high" in comparison to the deprived state of family systems in these degenerate times. I often reflect on the understanding in Attachment Theory, w…
I think the word "exceptionally" arises when comparing with other animals, the amount of effort a human child needs from its parents and family until an advanced age is unprecedented in other terrestrial companions.
Re: The key to mother and child well-being may be many caregivers
#110Is this generally true of hunter gatherer societies, especially those in temperate or arctic climates? Most of our ancestors have been living in agricultural villages or pastoral camps for the last 50 or more generations, which is long enough to evolve adaptation to that lifestyle. Admittedly, urbanization is a quite recent and abnormal lifestyle.
Do we have to go that far back? Multi-generational living was much more common, in cities as well, just a few decades ago and made all this much easier.