I'd Love to Move, but I Can't

"I was careful to say you "need a plan" for the real world when it comes to college."

The problem is that we've been told all of our lives to "follow our dreams," because "being happy with what you're doing is more important than financial gain."

It's a nice sentiment, but when you're 18, you've never lived in the real world and you simply cannot appreciate the trade-off you're making. This is to say nothing of student loans.

This is to say nothing of people who picked an industry that just blew up. Nobody entering college in in the early aughts knew the economy would wither in 8 years.

"You can get from pretty much anywhere in the US to anywhere else for under $500. What's that? You want your stuff? Ok, that's the real problem."

Before you can sign a lease, very often you need two months' rent and a security deposit. This amount will vary wildly, but in the above case, call it $1K altogether. Maybe you can find a roommate but uh now you have nproblems++.

You also need to find the right financial trade-off between living somewhere where a car is necessary vs. not. Maybe NYC is the exception to the rule, but cheaper places also trend towards less safe and less convenient.

You still need to pay for food, utilities, and continue to pay rent while looking for a job. Tack on a car payment and gas mileage if the only place you can afford is far or public transportation sucks. If you went to college, tack on a student loan payment or two.

The fact is that you must save up a non-trivial amount of money to go... somewhere... for some as yet undefined quality of living and no guarantee whatsoever that you'll find a job. Oh, and you won't have any friends or family, either. Maybe you guys are all people who make friends easily, but I am emphatically not. I'm highly sympathetic to people's unwillingness to leave behind their support networks.

Remember, what provoked this was an article shaming these kids for not moving. In response, they're voicing perfectly reasonable objections. They made the rational economic decision not to move because it's a lot of work and money for uncertain gain.

If we want to shame them for making sensible financial decisions instead of living up to baby boomer standards (or whoever's), I don't think the problem is on their end.

If you think that the Social Security system works like some sort of bank, I've got a few surprises for you.

In order to make a major move, you have to feel that the opportunities in the new place are worth the cost of uprooting yourself and leaving your friends and family behind. You also have to be willing to put yourself into a sink or swim situation - when you're in a new place where you don't know anyone, your ability to fallback and rely on someone is pretty much nonexistent.

Personally, I've made 4 major moves: first from my hometown in Washington State to Chicago, then to Raleigh, on to London, and now I'm in Oslo. Each time I decided to move, it was because I felt that the new location would yield better opportunities in the long run. --Even Raleigh, despite being too southern for my tastes.

Major moves aren't easy, but for me they've always been worth it in the long run (I never want to live in Raleigh again, but if I hadn't decided to try it out, I probably wouldn't have made it to Europe). I'd recommend that people take the chance.

I was talking about private insurance, not COBRA (which is crazy expensive). This was the single largest factor keeping me from quitting the corporate world for my own business, but only due to my own ignorance. Once I looked for a high deductible catastrophic plan for my family, I discovered how easy and affordable it was. HR departments do a good job of brainwashing us into thinking that they are the gatekeepers to the doctor's office, when that's not even close to the truth.

Anecdote time.

Last month I called up a dentist's office who I had never visited before. The conversation went as such.

Me: Hi, I'm a new patient. I'd like to make an appointment.

She: What insurance company are you with? If it's backed by, or affiliated with, the state we aren't accepting any new patients at this time.

Me: I'll be paying cash.

She: How does tomorrow at noon sound?

They happily gave me breakdowns of all costs, made decisions based on price (oh, we could give you this other xray but you don't really need it), and pretty much bent over backwards to make me happy. This isn't abnormal. The same thing happens at the doctor. I pay through an HSA for tax purposes, keep the insurance for major issues, save money in the process, and generally get better service.

I don't at all disagree.

But it isn't these people's fault for thinking so, they spent twenty years of their lives working "hard" (for the wrong definition of hard) and being told this lie.