Alas I still haven't figured out that one thing in my life and I'm already one leg in my sarcophagus. Guess I won't be able to solve it but whatever.
I decided that I must live my life on my terms
101–110 of 223 posts
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#102Instantly reminded of Steve Jobs’ commencement speech https://youtu.be/UF8uR6Z6KLc>
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#103Here's a question that goes out to everybody: what happens if what you love can't bring you money? Either because it's not lucrative in the capitalist world, or because you won't be able to get good enough at it (e.g. you fell in love with the violin at age 45)...
Do it on your free time because you love it. What's wrong with playing the violin at 45? Find a job with a good work life balance and make the most out of your free time.
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#104The language used suggests to me a possible cycle of ennui -> "a-ha" moments of emotional investment -> confusion as to why having rationalized a purpose doesn't lead to consistent gratification, or uncertainty over said purpose -> "what is my purpose?". Repeat.
What you specified as something you love are abstractions, removed from the action/labor. There are many jobs that solve problems, there are many ways to innovate. You can try to convince yourself that x or y should feel meaningful because "it does something important", but that works both ways - you can just as easily think "none of this seems important at all". Ultimately, I don't think you can rationalize work as being meaningful - it just feels meaningful. Rationalizing it works temporarily (like in those "ah-ha" self-motivating moments), but not lastingly. If you were told that pressing a red button all day would save lives, would it feel meaningful? Next question: do you enjoy being at a desk writing code and shipping products? I think we need to look to our daily actions and behavior, get closer to the metal. What this reveals to me is that there is probably a broad range of labor I could find meaning in, and certain conditions really make or break enjoyment. Meaning is sensory to me, it's a question of achieving "flow" states. You could try to recalibrate things at your leisure too: get more social validation, get more exercise, work with your hands as a hobby, volunteer if you enjoy it - whatever is lacking.
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#105The first one is gaining just enough money that I can ponder the meaning of life. The second one is pondering the meaning of life.
The hardest part of this type of journey is realizing you don’t need money to be happy or feel contentment. It may not make sense right now, but you may spend the next decade or so chasing money to get to a point of contentment only to realize that you’re chasing after money because you think it’s going to give you peace. The turn is when you figure out money doesn’t give you peace. Contentment, happiness are choices…
> I’d rather have back the lost decades of career and status chasing than any of the money I gained.
You're not the first person I read writing something like this on HN. I have always thought of this situation as something that only happens in movies. As someone who is going through a mid life crisis, reading what your comment breaks my heart. I miss the fun I had in my twenties and I had a lot of it. I just was not fully aware of the chance I had.
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#106> Basically, I want to grow old doing what I love, not feeling that I am working. That’s where I’m at, now. I was forced into that, but, after a few years, I’ll admit it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I’m not rich; and likely never will be, but I’m going to be fine. I was considering working for another ten years, and adding more to a pile, but it would have cost me my soul. This was made quite clear to m…
After 25 years in electronics manufacturing ( 250,000 employees, site closed), looking for a job at 55, I just refused to jump thru hoops and put up with BS. That was 10 years ago and I have no regrets.
Same here. I was 55, when I was looking.
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#107That is a kumbaya care bear concept.
If you are in a tiny percentile of people who can do that, you are most blessed and prlivliged. A member of the neo aristocracy.
(Or you are skilled at deceiving yourself.)
That "doing what you love" intersects with "what will get paid for" is rare as well.
For the vast majority of people working is a nessescary evil to survive. If they made such a choice they would starve.
If they are lucky they try to find small things that makes it better.
All the major global religions have teachigns that life is suffering. (exactly how you will suffer, why and how varies more)
Not getting to do what you want in order to surive has been around for a very long time.
Currently I want to a be a philosopher. That would be me doing what I currently love. There is nobody dumb enough to pay me to do so. Esp. since I have no academic background, no credentials, I have not devoted my life from an early age to absorb thousands of years of teachings and writing. I am a neophyte at the very bottom rung.
I can play around once my work for the day is over and write uneducated rants on the Internet trying to force a semi captive audience to read the garbage I type out.
"The I only want to do what I love" is the new "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" [1]
A different way to get there, or at least closer to it, is to go through something so drastically awful that whatever you do subsequently will be better.
Every since I left the army, I try to be thankful for a roof over my head, a bed (dry bed), a shower and dry clean clothes. The rest are bonuses.
To clarify being in the army is nowhere close to an objective "drastically awful". but it was a taste.
[1] WIKIPEDIA: """ "Let them eat cake" is the traditional translation of the French phrase "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche",[1] said to have been spoken in the 17th or 18th century by "a great princess" upon being told that the peasants had no bread. The French phrase mentions brioche, a bread enriched with butter and eggs, considered a luxury food. The quote is taken to reflect either the princess's frivolous disregard for the starving peasants or her poor understanding of their plight."""
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#108> I've spent my whole life trying to find my purpose
I've always been puzzled at how so many people expect to find "purpose".
Nobody has "purpose". You weren't placed on Earth for a reason. You only exist due to the luck of your parents getting laid. And quite frankly, 99.9% of the population will be unremarkable, even if you restrict that 99.9% to first-world countries. I don't expect to have an impact on the world or even get my own Wikipedia page that doesn't immediately get taken down for not being notable.
> Basically, I want to grow old doing what I love, not feeling that I am working.
Not to pry, but I'm curious how much money you have. This is an easy decision to make once the stock options you earned at a startup make you a multimillionaire once they go public and you not longer have to work to earn a living. Much harder for someone stuck working minimum wage at two jobs 60 hours/week just to pay the rent.
> More specially what that means is: building solutions that solve problems (help people) and improve how things are being done (innovate).
Ah, the old "Making the world a better place" trope that the show Silicon Valley made fun of.
...
God dammit when did I become such a cynic.
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#109Eh.. In the end it's one of those "chop wood, carry water" situations. Big emotions are only useful for a while.
Counterpoint: I had a life changing emotional experience 8.5 years ago and it’s still a central part of both my drive and my system of values
the emotion is, or what you learned from that time?
Re: I decided that I must live my life on my terms
#110To become one with God, through his commandments, mostly by loving, clothing, and feeding my neighbor. However, my performance is woefully inadequate. Luckily, my God is a loving God, and has me on a PIP, so hopefully we see some good progress with the time I have left.
> To become one with God
That happens in death. Until which, we are human and by extension imperfect.