Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can you provide some examples? I use sqlalchemy, and the amount of work that it does for me when it comes to handling mutating data is pretty remarkable.
No real specifics, but I usually run into ORM in the context of I'm the person on the team with experience running MySQL and someone has a slow query. When they're hand built queries, I can usually provide a query or sequence of queries that provides the same data without knocking the server over and it gets put into production within the same day. When they're ORM, it takes days to find the query, and then more days…
Also use static table design when applicable and avoid running any query that locks the table up. If the query takes any longer than 500 ms you should be running it as a background job instead.