The benefits of staying off social media • Hacker News Board

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#101

Post by lotsofpulp » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 4:56 PM UTC

smoldesu wrote: post #84

Isthatablackgsd wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately this won't happen unless something or someone takes actions. If governments is not going to bother to do the enforcement of the laws, then nothing changed until they do it. If there is a new player in the field, what or who is going to stop FAANGs from buying the competitors (even it violated the antitrust law)? Sure we do have Sherman Antitrust Act for this... but no one bothering to do the enforcement…

> Frankly, the Congress prefers to listen to their corporate masters over their constituents. There's the crux of it all. We know firsthand that our addiction to companies like Google, Facebook, Apple and Amazon are unhealthy, but the only thing stopping us from keeping them in check is our government. I've been saying this for a while now, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the SEC cuts deals to FAANG comp…

>but the only thing stopping us from keeping them in check is our government.

Lots and lots and lots of people in the "us" group find using Google, Facebook, Apple, and Amazon convenient (and cheap). Otherwise, there is zero friction for people to type in a different address in the browser and use Libreoffice or Pinephone or Mastodon or whatever competing alternative with open standards there is.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#102

Post by micromacrofoot » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 4:57 PM UTC

ipdashc wrote: post #90

pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

>I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or something, trying to make friendly conversation with another shopper next to them, along the lines of "oh that's a cool hat". And the consensus of the thread was "yeah that's awful, why would you do that, why are you subjecting them to the labor of talking to you" or such.

This is kind of an American way of thinking. Small talk with strangers is weird in many places.

If you're a woman spurning it can get ugly fast (you are not obligated to a reply from a stranger). It's not at all unusual for a woman to ignore small talk from a male stranger and instantly be met with vitriol. I've been in situations where an ignored comment like "smile honey" is instantly met with "bitch". If this is the cost of small talk, it isn't worth it.

There's also the newfound respect for mental health, some people are extremely anxious or agoraphobic, and attempting small talk with strangers in places where people are required to be (grocery, fuel, etc) seems unnecessary. Is complementing someone's hat really worth the potential anxiety? not remotely.

If you're lonely and want to meet people, don't try to do it via small talk with strangers. Join a club, take a class, volunteer. Go to places where interaction is expected, do not foist it upon strangers just trying to go about their daily lives.

If you must small talk, please do not take it personally if someone ignores you.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#103

Post by karaterobot » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 4:57 PM UTC

shtopointo wrote: post #34

Another day, another person telling you how to live your life... Sorry, but even though we know social media has its downsides, it also has advantages: keeping in touch with friends, socializing, a way to stay up to date with your community, new recipe ideas, exercise ideas, time management ideas, maybe even the occasional envy that someone's success triggers more ambition in you to succeed etc. It's a tool, like any…

> it also has advantages: keeping in touch with friends, socializing, a way to stay up to date with your community, new recipe ideas, exercise ideas, time management ideas, maybe even the occasional envy that someone's success triggers more ambition in you to succeed etc.

In what way are these advantages over not using social media?

They're all things you can do — provably — without social media. In fact, the problem we've identified that leads us to questioning our use of it is that social media is actually a less effective way to stay in touch with friends and socialize.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#104

Post by kodah » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 4:57 PM UTC

pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> In my experience over the last decade there are fewer and fewer ways to find a community and any success as a creator of any kind without getting corralled into social media and furthermore getting corralled into being a daily active user / consumer as to not get shadow banned by any given app.

I spent a good chunk of my career in platform engineering. I generally worked on internal hosting platforms, but there's enough correlation between those and large online platforms. These platforms must knock out competition, this delivers some benefits to the end user but as an intended byproduct it eliminates choice. If you are anything but someone who wants a boilerplate to build on, say you want to do something custom or special, that will always be out of the question -- because deviation introduces risk of various types.

It's a tradeoff, and for now it's a sufficiently good tradeoff for the public until they become aware of what they bought.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#105

Post by tumblewit » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 4:59 PM UTC

I deleted FB 2 years ago, Twitter 2.5 years ago and Instagram 1 year ago.

Most close friends found zero problems connecting with me. That’s cause they call, text or we just meet. It’s almost like I started to live in the ‘real’ life rather than a made up one. It felt weird and underwhelming at times but it is horrifying how much we can get sucked into social media without even knowing most of the times. The withdrawal symptoms can be real too.

Seriously just go and click the delete button right now after seeing this post. Don’t think just do it.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#106

Post by emodendroket » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 4:59 PM UTC

I can't really relate to these feelings. To me the worst aspect of social media is you can easily lose track of time scrolling, but I find the time limit options on my phone are pretty effective at letting me use it enough to get what I want out of it without accidentally letting a bunch of time go by.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#107

Post by emodendroket » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 5:00 PM UTC

tumblewit wrote: post #105

I deleted FB 2 years ago, Twitter 2.5 years ago and Instagram 1 year ago. Most close friends found zero problems connecting with me. That’s cause they call, text or we just meet. It’s almost like I started to live in the ‘real’ life rather than a made up one. It felt weird and underwhelming at times but it is horrifying how much we can get sucked into social media without even knowing most of the times. The withdrawa…

I mean I'd rather not arbitrarily cut off friends for frivolous reasons like what means they like to use to contact me.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#108

Post by rhino369 » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 5:00 PM UTC

ipdashc wrote: post #90

pkdpic wrote: post #12

> A futuristic dystopia. A place where the real world sucks. Where people consider talking to someone a chore. Connection, closeness, ambition are replaced by detachment and dogmatic slumber. Society is satisfied with shallow thoughts and the pursuit of artificially created stimuli in an imaginary world. Beautifully written top-notch orwellian poetry. Seriously inspiring. Also as someone who has only ever used social…

> Where people consider talking to someone a chore. This bit in particular really hit me. I've noticed a rising trend around the Internet (or maybe I was just blind to it before), mostly on Reddit, of people who really do seem to consider any sort of real-life social interaction a chore and an attack. I forget the exact context, I think the conversation that stood out to me was about someone in a gas station or somet…

Reddit has a culture that normalizes the symptoms of social anxiety. They call it introversion, but the way its described is 100% social anxiety.

I am sympathetic, I have it too. Hell, ever male in my dad's family line seems to have it.

But its a problem that needs to be treated and not a character trait that needs to be respected. The WORST thing you can do for social anxiety (or any anxiety) is to avoid trigger it. You'll become a depressed shut in.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#109

Post by AtlasBarfed » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 5:01 PM UTC

croutonwagon wrote: post #2

This may not be terribly popular, and its admittedly just conjecture, but I'm of the opinion that its less about the quantity of social media, and more how one interacts with it and even more so consumes it. Some platforms are clearly more toxic than others, though I'm increasingly of the opinion that they are all pretty toxic, just different flavors of "world outlooks" to choose from. I feel that those that actively…

You can try to meter your exposure, but...

Well, I think one of the real dangers of social media, and its algorithms, is a similar danger to society that gambling represents.

Gambling payouts are precisely timed to dopamine chemistry in the typical human brain. They have tuned it to that level of fundamental biochemical reaction. That's something that is refined/tuned over decades of focused development.

Let's look at sugar sugar everywhere. Foodstuff companies are doing the SAME THING. Decades of refining the precise amount of sugar (which is absolutely addictive) they can slide into foods to expand people's excessive consumption. Decades of precise biochemical studies, A/B studies, etc.

Marketing has for decades tried to refine certain social psychology with varying degrees of effectiveness to prompt irrational consumption of whatever they are pushing. They've been effective, but I'm can't say that the marketing industry has ever found a "silver bullet" of biochemistry.

But I do think that social media has formulated a social psychology addiction silver bullet. And I think this one may be more pernicious than sugar or gambling or opium. This one can be used for propaganda, not just reliable production of subservient consumer/addicts.

Re: The benefits of staying off social media

#110

Post by emodendroket » Mon, Nov 08, 2021, 5:01 PM UTC

freebuju wrote: post #63

shtopointo wrote: post #34

Another day, another person telling you how to live your life... Sorry, but even though we know social media has its downsides, it also has advantages: keeping in touch with friends, socializing, a way to stay up to date with your community, new recipe ideas, exercise ideas, time management ideas, maybe even the occasional envy that someone's success triggers more ambition in you to succeed etc. It's a tool, like any…

Are you using social media, correctly, as you put it.. Or. is social media using you? I find that even if you go out of your way to sanitize and make SM useful to your needs. You can't do away with the unhealthy incentives around it and possible potential dopamine addiction.

Everybody seems to like to accuse you of secretly being brainwashed if you say you like something they don't. Honestly, what is so different about being on here and being on Reddit, for instance? It's the same thing.