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Overly analytical guide to escorting

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Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#101

Post by manquer »

gizmo686 wrote: post #67
correct_horse wrote: post #40

The funniest part of this article (in the context of being posted on HN) is that the author separately mentions engineer and software engineer in her list of client professions. That settles it - normal people think they're different.

I say this as a software engineer, does anyone honestly believe that software engineers are engineers?

A lot of other engineering stream grads don't do engineering work either even when working in their industry, do management /procurement or sales etc.

There is no certifing body (in most countries) on who can call themselves engineers unlike doctors or lawyers.

So it is really up to you , whether you see what you do as engineering (not only with software) or not

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#102

Post by manquer »

spoonjim wrote: post #90
fastball wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This strikes me as a weird things to say tbh, but in the spirit of the article I decided to try to look at it a bit more rationally and not sure this is wrong to say, but I still don't like it and I'm not exactly sure why.

Well the article should give you some glimpse into the mindset behind transactional sex. I see Tweets I like, and photos of a woman with a good body. Her rate was $1,200, I am willing to pay. Consenting adults, consenting exchange, it might not be for you, and it might make you feel gross, that’s OK as you don’t try to deny us the right to make the exchange. Of course not relevant since she is not escorting now.

Perhaps his objection is a bit different( or maybe am projecting). It may feel more wrong that you are talking about it in a forum, rather than engaging with her privately

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#103

Post by detaro »

psyc wrote: post #97
detaro wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I found Hillel Wayne's series on the topic interesting, where he interviewed people that had worked in both "traditional engineering" and software. https://www.hillelwayne.com/post/are-we-really-engineers/ (first post, later ones linked from the top)

That is interesting, thanks. What I’ll agree to is that it is possible in principle to vary the extent to which you apply traditional engineering concepts to software development. But I believe that’s good ol’ cross-disciplinary insight (are genetic programmers biologists?) And maybe if you turn that knob all the way up, maybe you could be said to be doing engineering. But I’m not convinced of that last part yet, and…

My impression (which kind of matches the blog series) is that that "like an engineer" bit is a bit overhyped in these discussions. E.g. a good chunk of what I do is embedded software, so I sometimes work with EEs that have designed the hardware my software is supposed to run on - and the range of how systematically (or not) they approach things isn't any smaller than the one you find in software. (Now I wonder if they also have discussions of "if you are just combining parts on a board and not designing your own ICs, are you really an engineer?", but given what I've seen I doubt it - they seem to care mostly about who has the formal right to claim the title)

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#104

Post by cronodas »

slibhb wrote: post #58

The article reads like an advertisement. She claims to have had many intimate, beautiful experiences with johns but she's charging $1200/hr. How beautiful can a purchased experience be? Plus, the whole thing reenforces regressive stereotypes wherein men are valued for their money and women for their bodies. Regardless of whether prostitution should be legalized on liberal grounds, it is not prosocial behavior and it…

> "How beautiful can a purchased experience be?"

Live theater, concerts, and therapy are all purchased experiences, too, and they can all be pretty powerful experiences on either side of the transaction. I don't see why escorting that includes conversation would be any different.

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#105

Post by analog31 »

micromacrofoot wrote: post #13

It would be nice if we could just regulate this industry to protect the people in it and start the work of reducing the stigma. Similar to abortion, people are going to do it whether or not it's legal. It will never have an "end". It's one of the oldest professions in human history. I do not understand why people fight this battle. The number of hoops these people jump through only to be eventually assaulted and robb…

There's a recent HN thread on truck driving, which is legal and regulated, and has relatively less stigma. Yet the industry has apparently also figured out every possible way to skirt the regulations and abuse drivers physically and financially if possible. Granted, that's not a statistical assessment, but it at least suggests to me that legalization and regulation are not enough by themselves to make an occupation safe and wholesome.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28916771

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#106

Post by chasil »

As funny as it may be, this is a weakness in human character, a desire for a thing of no value. Transactional exchanges bleach emotion and depth.

There are productive relationships in life. They do not lie within this realm.

For myself, this was waste of time. I do not deny those who seek it, but the end result is always to be disillusioned.

And now I sound like an octogenarian.

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#107

Post by iammisc »

micromacrofoot wrote: post #95
iammisc wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Legalizing for protection of those involved is one thing, but it is completely orthogonal to 'reducing the stigma'. Frankly this is where these movements lose people, including the abortion movement.

It's much harder to fight the stigma around anything that's illegal because it instantly gets equated with crime. It's hard to talk about an experience that will get you branded a criminal... Decriminalization of marijuana in many places is getting people talking about it more openly, for example. It's not everything but it's a start.

> Decriminalization of marijuana in many places is getting people talking about it more openly, for example. It's not everything but it's a start.

sure... and that's the best argument to recriminalize. Having yet more drugs that disrupt mental faculties is not a good thing

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#108

Post by iammisc »

collegeburner wrote: post #43
iammisc wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Legalizing for protection of those involved is one thing, but it is completely orthogonal to 'reducing the stigma'. Frankly this is where these movements lose people, including the abortion movement.

Youre downvoted but have a good point. I agree its a victimless crime and so the govt has no business regulating it, but pushing for destigmitization is a different kind of social change. Why is that important?

Prostitution is not a victimless crime. This is just mental gymnastics that people do to make themselves feel better abotu themselves.

No woman wakes up one day and says 'I want to sell my body for sex to the highest bidder' unless forced to by circumstance.

Re: Overly analytical guide to escorting

#110

Post by throwaway75999 »

This was a fantastic read; thank you for sharing.

I saw escorts for a couple of years. It was often weird, when I just didn’t click with the woman, but I met a few really awesome people.

There are other down sides to escorting. One of the women I had seen a couple of times, was later murdered. They ended up catching the killer- another escort, I don’t know why. It was hard to grieve; we were not real close; her family probably didn’t want clients showing up at the funeral or any other reminder like flowers.

I ended up falling in love with one of the women I met and we dated for a while. It was a serious emotional roller coaster being in love with someone who was having sex with other men until she was ready to “go exclusive”. But in the end we got married after she retired.

Now it’s ten years later. We have a son and are still happy as can be.

If you’re thinking about seeing escorts, remember that since intimacy with other people is involved, there are often strong emotions as well.

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