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Stepping Back from Speaking

martinfowler.com

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Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#101

Post by moehm »

bloqs wrote: post #95
admissionsguy wrote: post #27

I dropped out of my PhD because I could not stand the pressure of having to do talks regularly. Even though I was pretty decent at it (I was told my delivery was fine and clarity was superb), and sometimes felt good ("powerful" for lack of a better word) while on stage, I would worry for months before every presentation, then basically get physically sick for weeks before, and take some weeks more to recover. Then on…

Extraversion is a relatively plastic personality dimension

What is a 'plastic' personality dimension?

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#102

Post by oh_sigh »

hogFeast wrote: post #28
oh_sigh wrote: post #9

Martin - if you're here, and would want to continue speaking were it not for the physical problems you face - perhaps you should give beta blockers a shot? Side effects are uncommon, risks are low, addictive potential is low, so doctors are generally willing to prescribe them if the patient requests it. It sounds like you're just experiencing stage fright. Many professional performers get this way, and beta blockers…

Taking medication doesn't make the problem go away. I understand why people do it if their job relies on it...but the point of taking medication is so you can expose yourself to the fear, and then don't need the medication at all at some point...not using it as a coping strategy. I have gone through something similar, unfortunately something significantly more disruptive. And I have succeeded and failed more than any…

Do you wear deodorant/anti-perspirant? If so, why? It doesn't make the problem go away. Sometimes just managing a condition is good enough rather than trying to solve the potentially unsolvable root cause, if the management protocol is easy/low risk enough

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#103

Post by derefr »

moehm wrote: post #101
bloqs wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Extraversion is a relatively plastic personality dimension

What is a 'plastic' personality dimension?

The parent commentor is not using any domain-specific jargon. They just mean the normal meaning of the abstract adjective "plastic": capable of being permanently deformed/bent/altered in a way that does not then return to baseline (contrast elastic). Conceptually derived from "plastic deformation" in physics: when you bend something enough that it doesn't bend back any more.

Usages of this sense of "plastic" appear all across the English language: brain plasticity; plastic surgery; a cancerous neoplasm.

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#104

Post by pcurve »

Syzygies wrote: post #59
admissionsguy wrote: post #27

I dropped out of my PhD because I could not stand the pressure of having to do talks regularly. Even though I was pretty decent at it (I was told my delivery was fine and clarity was superb), and sometimes felt good ("powerful" for lack of a better word) while on stage, I would worry for months before every presentation, then basically get physically sick for weeks before, and take some weeks more to recover. Then on…

Six weeks before my thesis defense, I gave a talk at MIT's combinatorics seminar on Grobner bases. We came up with an abstract intended to attract computer scientists. I was a bit naive about complexity analysis. The computer scientists came, were quite generous and kind to me as a graduate student who didn't know, but they were out for blood when it came to protecting basic concepts. I was asked to explain algebraic…

I don’t know you but I can relate to the feeling. That’s still awesome and I’m sure you nailed it

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#105

Post by derefr »

mattkrause wrote: post #97
jakobdabo wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Is it really required to do talks? Does that mean that, for example, people who can't speak (muteness and similar disabilities) can not become PhD?

If you were literally unable to give a talk, I suspect accommodations would be made for qualifying exams and thesis defenses; indeed, I would bet this is legally required under the ADA or something similar. However, giving presentation is an important part of an academic career. As a grad student and postdoc, conferences expand your network beyond people in your lab and department. You might hope that your published…

But can you just get someone else to give your talks for you? Or, to turn that around, can you make a career out of being another researcher's ghostwriter?

(Yes, presumably, they'd have to understand the subject just as well as you do for the inevitable question period. But maybe you're not bad at private mentoring, just public speaking...)

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#106

Post by moehm »

derefr wrote: post #103
moehm wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What is a 'plastic' personality dimension?

The parent commentor is not using any domain-specific jargon. They just mean the normal meaning of the abstract adjective "plastic": capable of being permanently deformed/bent/altered in a way that does not then return to baseline (contrast elastic ). Conceptually derived from "plastic deformation" in physics: when you bend something enough that it doesn't bend back any more. Usages of this sense of "plastic" appear…

Thanks, I wasn't aware of this connotation.

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#107

Post by mromanuk »

wolverine876 wrote: post #93
enriquto wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would worry for months before every presentation, then basically get physically sick for weeks before, and take some weeks more to recover. That was exactly me. Fortunately, my PhD advisor noticed the trend and solved it in a severe but functional way. Starting from my second year, I was assigned to teach calculus to first-year computer science undergrads (three groups of about 80 students each). It was absolutel…

> "no! forget about your preparation. The informal explanation you just gave is actually a good first class, just repeat it a bit slowly and call it a day". I knew he was fucking with me just to calm me down, but this actually gave me a confidence boost. I don't understand why that's 'fucking with you'. Isn't that good, sincere advice?

Sounds sincere to me

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#108

Post by mromanuk »

I’m surprised that nobody mentioned therapy as a way to cope with anxiety and public speaking phobias. I’ve been there and is awful.

There are many different approaches, like CBT and lately third wave of behavioral therapies.

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#109

Post by smitty1e »

wolverine876 wrote: post #93
enriquto wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I would worry for months before every presentation, then basically get physically sick for weeks before, and take some weeks more to recover. That was exactly me. Fortunately, my PhD advisor noticed the trend and solved it in a severe but functional way. Starting from my second year, I was assigned to teach calculus to first-year computer science undergrads (three groups of about 80 students each). It was absolutel…

> "no! forget about your preparation. The informal explanation you just gave is actually a good first class, just repeat it a bit slowly and call it a day". I knew he was fucking with me just to calm me down, but this actually gave me a confidence boost. I don't understand why that's 'fucking with you'. Isn't that good, sincere advice?

One can quibble about the word choice, but the simple truth is that human interactions very frequently involve some sort of conscious/unconscious manipulation.

So one is better off to interact with people who are decent at that activity and seeking to build us.

Had my boss just yesterday close the office door and gently chide me about interrupting other people on the call. Best rebuke I've had in years.

Re: Stepping Back from Speaking

#110

Post by Oras »

throwawayboise wrote: post #61

"I’ve reached the point in my life where I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid things that make me miserable" I'm there. I've reached a point in my evolution as a programmer that I have ways I like to do things. Ways that work for me. Unfortunately they are not popular. But I'm tired of working on stuff the way others want it done. I'm teetering on the brink of either early retirement or contract work with a strict "m…

Been there! I went to contracting and saved money to keep me going for a year. I created a project which I thought it will be a side project and suddenly became a startup.

Almost 5 months in, I will never go back to a daily job. The pleasure of doing things my way, expanding my network, meeting other people who share the same passion and finally seeing the impact of what I am doing is priceless. I work longer hours than I used to but I've never been that happy for years.

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