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How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

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Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I guess inkjet printers are good for something after all! Was there any reason...why he did that?

Continued: (Was on-site earlier and didn't have time to type the rest as, crazy enough, this was just the beginning of what turned into years of encounters) Before I could react to the printer landing at feet (I was frozen) he yelled almost exactly "Don't you ever fucking walk into my office like that again, G T F O" so I slowly stepped out and shut the door. As I said, it (door) was cracked open, and the entire fron…

Why don't we mandate Huxley's Soma for everyone so all anger is suppressed at all times? Really, this obsessive hunting for displays of anger and ruining people's lives over it and the Schadenfreude makes me wonder who the actual psychopaths are.

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#102

I haven't worked at many companies (only 4 during my 20+ years from late 90s until now) and while work at two was stressful (TV journalism and IT) with 'pushy' bosses, I've NEVER encountered any where the environment is truly toxic. And that includes working in different countries, private and public sector (University of California, for instance). I didn't hear too many horror stories either. However people keep tal…

perhaps you’re just privileged to have only worked with great people!

one alternative might be that you’re a little toxic?

who knows. doesn’t make everyone else’s lived experiences invalid :)

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#103
"All it takes is for good men to do nothing". It seems Burke never said that, nor "evil will therefore good must".

Nevertheless, I have never experienced a "toxic mob" situation but rather a few bullies with a complicit crowd, often afraid to be turned victims. I find the realization of this complicity weakness to hurt even more than the actual bully abuse.

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#104
I really like this emphasis on trust. I have worked on “superstar” teams where people sabotaged each other at every turn. I have seen teams with a real mix of talent, sometimes pretty mediocre honestly, achieve amazing things because everyone just rows in the same direction.

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#105
post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You report the incident to who you are directed to report into and are told to, "man up." Given that you also mention further down a dev getting punched, I think this statement was code for “if you don’t like what they’re saying, you should just shut them up.” Machismo-driven cultures are confusing until you realize that everyone is just expecting you to literally physically assault your way to the top, and is just…

isn’t this the definition of toxic masculinity?

If it’s not it’s at least a functional basis one.

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My first day of work many many years ago I did the usual (for me at least) and stopped by each office (before open floorplans were widespread) to introduce myself. The very first office the door was cracked so I knocked and slowly opened it a bit more to give a friendly "hello" and the guy immediately grabbed his desktop inkjet printer (one of those old half dome Epsons) and hurled it at me, crashing at my feet due t…

Started a new medication some time back, Plaqunial. Turns out a very rare side effect is it makes you psychotic. The kind where sweet old grandma would come at you with a kitchen knife and dance on your grave in glee. Was extremely angry for months on it, but didn’t realize it was the medication. Then since it was working so well on my condition, completely life changing. The doctor doubled it. Was not a good week. O…

Is this satire? Plaqunial is the infamous hydroxychloroquine...

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#107
post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cool story, but why end it gloating over someone else's misery?

That’s not gloating.

> He went from partner at a well funded firm to east LA metal salvage work. It was such an amazing feeling.

I read it as such. Any specific reason that you disagree?

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#108
> Is just telling people to be loyal to each other enough?

Uh, no. This industry is obsessed with individually optimized paths to success. In other words, everybody is looking out for themselves. I have been on teams where there was camaraderie, mostly because of shared struggle. But, the idea that people are suddenly interested in the common good is laughable.

I'll trade his "trust" for accountability and consequences any day, especially for management. Without visible accountability, appeals to loyalty are meaningless. Also, I have seen manipulators and liars game these altruistic arrangements.

One particular gig had a co-worker that was given a sudden lift into power. That person had trouble after a month and tried to cover some misleading stats and results. Then they came after their co-workers, manipulating public chat while being fairly nasty in DM. On the surface they were all about the common good, but to us individually the person was toxic.

Screenshots. Documentation. That's what saved my job in that particular instance. I showed how the public Slack was different than DM, which was different than direct email. Multiple contradictory threads. I saw what was happening and covered my ass with documentation.

Management tried to handle the initial problems with appeals to shared goals and teamwork, which are noble. This person was very good during those calls. We went to bosses individually and said there were problems and that this person was getting toxic. Response was "we'll look into it." Nothing happened.

In the end, problems got undeniable and we ended up in a series of one-on-ones with managers. My screenshots worked. That person was given a soft exit. The mid-level managers that ignored it got no consequences. The people that were left absorbed that person's leftover mess and nobody trusted anybody and management lost credibility. To this day, I document DMs out of habit.

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#109
post #4

Imagine going into an environment suffering some serious performance issues adversely affecting the day-to-day operations of the business. From initial conversations it seems great. You're asked about how you'd handle, "difficult personalities" a fair bit, but aside from that, seems like you can add a ton of value. In your first days, you exhaustively quantitatively measure the entire operating environment, prioritiz…

I hope you have a safe job, now.

Re: How to survive a toxic workplace and how to avoid creating one

#110
post #4

Imagine going into an environment suffering some serious performance issues adversely affecting the day-to-day operations of the business. From initial conversations it seems great. You're asked about how you'd handle, "difficult personalities" a fair bit, but aside from that, seems like you can add a ton of value. In your first days, you exhaustively quantitatively measure the entire operating environment, prioritiz…

1 File a written grievance against the other team member 2 File a written grievance against the guy you reported it too.

If its assault call the police and tell HR fire them and ill drop the charges "maybe"

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