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A researcher on how to live a happy life

ox.ac.uk

101–110 of 199 posts

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#101

> Almost no one thinks about actively retraining the way they think. In fact, I don’t think this last idea even crosses most of our minds. Really? I'm pretty sure there are thousands of years of philosophical and religious traditions that teach something along the lines of "looking for happiness in the external world is a bad idea, instead try working on yourself". I mean the four noble truths of Buddhism, a religion…

suffering can be deeper, but that's also probably stepping into psychiatry territory.. my point is you cannot reason or meditate everything away

I absolutely agree with this and tend to fall much more on the pessimist side regarding any solution to suffering.

My point is that the author claiming "I don’t think this last idea even crosses most of our minds" seems off given that "change yourself not the world" is arguably the dominant theme regarding suffering for most philosophies throughout human history, from religions to pop-psychology self-help books (even the idea of "self-help" implies working on yourself to solve your problems).

Even deeper, the clear divide between the "external" and "internal" is pretty suspect in nearly all Western philosophical traditions in at least the last 200 years. This is something I would expect a PhD in Philosophy at Oxford to at least be passingly familiar with.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here are some of my favorite Epictetus quotes: Chapter 8 Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whatever way they happen: this is the path to peace. Chapter 9 Sickness is a problem for the body, not the mind -- unless the mind decides that it is a problem. Lameness, too, is the body’s problem, not the mind’s. Say this to yourself whatever the circumstance and you will find without fa…

A lot of philosophy and "wisdom" is in telling people what they should do and probably already try to do without giving them the tools to do it. A wise person realizes it is silly to tell someone "Don't hope that events will turn out the way you want" without giving them real tools to address their feelings.

that's fair, although i will say that people tend to complicate these things to a ridiculous degree, coming up with a laundry list of reasons they can or cannot make strides towards these goals.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#103
post #99

Another perhaps more esoteric approach is pointed to by Ramana Maharshi (and others) who encouraged people seeking happiness to inquire into "the one who is unhappy". In other words, to ask oneself, "Who is it that is unhappy?" The idea being that the independent entity that most of us take ourselves to be is just a fictional story (an I-thought) with no real existence, and that it comes about from an erroneous ident…

Oh for the luxury of an internal locus of self evaluation! Repositioning my perspective on who I was - changing the goal posts of happiness as it were was all so easy once upon a time and then I got married! I find this kind of transcendental juggling a good bit harder now that it’s not just my own happiness that needs to be accommodated ... anyone got any tips?

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#104

> Almost no one thinks about actively retraining the way they think. In fact, I don’t think this last idea even crosses most of our minds. Really? I'm pretty sure there are thousands of years of philosophical and religious traditions that teach something along the lines of "looking for happiness in the external world is a bad idea, instead try working on yourself". I mean the four noble truths of Buddhism, a religion…

>Really? I'm pretty sure there are thousands of years of philosophical and religious traditions that teach something along the lines of "looking for happiness in the external world is a bad idea, instead try working on yourself"

The author is referring to the common man, whom we in the west have been conditioned to think much more highly of than is evidently deserved.

It should not be controversial to say that people by and large are ignorant.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#105
post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A preponderance of religions and philosophies that advocate changing the way one thinks does not mean that most people subscribe to them. Most people are insanely dogmatic including self-described Buddhists (such as those on Myanmar that are cruel to Rohingya), Jews (that abuse Palestinians), Christians (I don't need to describe their flaws), and Muslims. There are tenets of each faith that advocate viewing the world…

> Jews (that abuse Palestinians) I'm not 100% sure that the Jewish religion can be associated with Israeli foreign policy. Israel would be fighting with Palestine whether any Jewish believers lived there or not.

I agree that the claim that All Jews are necessarily Pro-Israel is false. But I don't think that was what the author meant. His claim seemed more like "Israel is a Jewish state, and does misdeeds under that banner", which I don't think anyone would disagree with.

https://www.vox.com/world/2018/7/31/17623978/israel-jewish-n...

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> you cannot reason or meditate everything away 100% agree. I was born a Buddhist and was a devout Buddhist until I was 13-14 years old (then I became an atheist). I went to monasteries for weeks on end to meditate. But what I found was that meditation is not for me. I cannot get rid of my recurring mental sufferings (anger, fear/anxiety, jealousy/envy, self-/guilt) just by spending more and more time in meditation.…

What did you expect to find in meditation at 13-14 years old though? Hardly any real conflict or hardship in anyone's life at that age. Honest question, not looking to berate you.

You and I had a very different 13-14.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What did you expect to find in meditation at 13-14 years old though? Hardly any real conflict or hardship in anyone's life at that age. Honest question, not looking to berate you.

You and I had a very different 13-14.

Certainly. Question is, now that you are at your current age, don't you feel that if you practice meditation now, it would you bring more benefits compared to back then?

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#108

> Almost no one thinks about actively retraining the way they think. In fact, I don’t think this last one even crosses most of our minds. This is so, so false that it makes the rest of the article hard to take seriously. A ton of people thought about these things. Some thousands of years ago, and wrote quite interesting books about it (like a good amount of Buddhist treatises but definitely not only). A lot of modern…

So an article that gives reason and background as to "why one should retrain the way they think" is instantly disqualified because of a singular sentence that is perhaps a bit hyperbolic? Ah, the literal mind!

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#109
Entire books and philosophies talk about "retraining the way you think". Not sure, if the author was hiding under a rock, dropped some acid and came with this earth-shattering realization. But ahem, he supposedly has a PHD, so he can get away with it. Most happy people are happy because they have gratitude for the daily things, they don't let negative emotions pull them down and just look at the world with a "glass half-full" view.

Re: A researcher on how to live a happy life

#110

As a very happy person, perhaps I can give some advice :) One thing that's surprisingly powerful is changing your perspective or telling yourself that you're happy. Similar to faking confidence, in a way: it starts fake but eventually you'll be actually confident, and you won't need to fake anything. Maybe the word "fake" isn't the right one here; I think a good analogy is starting an engine - the first few turns of…

Assuming happiness and working backwards sounds like a great idea, thanks! I'm going to try it right now. Happy me would write this comment and then go hang out with my wife.
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