Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

elemental.medium.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

101–110 of 157 posts

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#101

Post by JohnFen »

milesvp wrote: post #24
peteradio wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What time do you think little children go to bed?

Children tend to be solar powered. Getting them to bed before 10pm in mid summer nights can be a real challenge in northern latitudes. Black out curtains really help. But starting the bedtime routine when the sun is out is a real chore. I honestly have no idea how Alaskans get their kids to sleep at all in the summer.

I think this depends on the particular child. I had one who needed to be put to bed early or the next day was going to be a nightmare for everybody. But I had another one who didn't do well with an early bedtime.

I don't think there are many one-size-fits-all answers when it comes to kids.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#102

Post by bradlys »

irrational wrote: post #92
bradlys wrote: post #87

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can understand getting the kids up for elementary school (especially if they're very young) but even when I was in 5th grade - I was getting up myself, eating breakfast I made, and walking to school by myself. My parents were frequently gone by the time I woke up because they had to be at work before I had to be at school. In middle school (6th - 8th) - it was no different for the rest except that I walked or biked…

I'm a nightowl, and so are my kids. They will happily stay up to the early morning hours reading. Getting them out of bed in the mornings is a major pain in the butt. But, they will happily sleep in and miss the start of school if I'm not there.

But isn't learning how to get up in the morning a part of growing up...? (Same with going to bed on time) Couldn't it be taught just like cooking their own food and grooming themselves? I learned pretty quickly the consequences of tardiness by getting detention, lower grades, etc. Now - if they don't care one damn about school then I think that's a separate problem and them avoiding school by sleeping in is just highlighting a separate problem. If they have a really hard time getting up every morning and can't sleep at night then they could have insomnia and do well with at least some acknowledgement of it. I suffered with insomnia for over a decade. It was due to horrible amounts of stress.

Back to you: If they're always expecting their parents to wake them up every morning - how are they going to fare when (if?) they move out?

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#103

Post by rhacker »

irrational wrote: post #93
teh_klev wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school I don't mean to pry or be cheeky or sound judgemental, but how many kids do you have that it takes 3-4 hours to get them all breakfasted and ready for school? And is school far away or just a 10-15 min drive? What are you doing during that time? I know kids can consume a lot of attention in the morning (especially the elementary lot), but that amount…

7

I think that clearly places you outside of any group that this article is talking to.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#104

Post by christophilus »

bradlys wrote: post #102
irrational wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm a nightowl, and so are my kids. They will happily stay up to the early morning hours reading. Getting them out of bed in the mornings is a major pain in the butt. But, they will happily sleep in and miss the start of school if I'm not there.

But isn't learning how to get up in the morning a part of growing up...? (Same with going to bed on time) Couldn't it be taught just like cooking their own food and grooming themselves? I learned pretty quickly the consequences of tardiness by getting detention, lower grades, etc. Now - if they don't care one damn about school then I think that's a separate problem and them avoiding school by sleeping in is just high…

I was just like the kids the op described. Turns out, I never could make it to early college classes (so I got Cs in anything pre 9AM). I quickly learned to only sign up for later classes. Then, I entered the workforce as a software engineer, working for companies where I could head in late. Life’s worked out ok for me.

Turns out, you can live a perfectly happy life in which others don’t dictate your morning routine.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#105

Post by mumblemumble »

echelon wrote: post #81
irrational wrote: post #80

I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school (high schoolers first, then elementary schoolers, then middle schoolers). Everyone is finally at school by 9:15am and I can head in for work. I get home around 6pm and get the little kids in bed by 8pm. 8-8:30pm is me time. Then I get ready for bed and am asleep by 9pm. I can't imagine what a slow morning (or evening!) would even be like. I'd appreciat…

How do you do this? I would literally die. I can't live life so breathlessly with what sounds like no room for breaks. Are weekends even enough for you to recover? Forget burning out of a job, I'd burn out on life. Mad props to you. You've got a hell of a lot more discipline than I do. Your kids owe you.

https://www.fowllanguagecomics.com/comic/long-weekend/

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#106

Post by jacobolus »

JohnFen wrote: post #98
echelon wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you do this? I would literally die. I can't live life so breathlessly with what sounds like no room for breaks. Are weekends even enough for you to recover? Forget burning out of a job, I'd burn out on life. Mad props to you. You've got a hell of a lot more discipline than I do. Your kids owe you.

I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.

> hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier

A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...).

I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months old, and is way easier to take care of right now.

If you just accept that you will be doing no independent creative work, then a 2+ year old isn’t too bad. They can start to “help” with routine chores, can walk around for themselves, can feed themselves, eventually stop needing diapers, etc. The work is not really hard per se. More like relentless.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#107

Post by TheHegemon »

JohnFen wrote: post #98
echelon wrote: post #81

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you do this? I would literally die. I can't live life so breathlessly with what sounds like no room for breaks. Are weekends even enough for you to recover? Forget burning out of a job, I'd burn out on life. Mad props to you. You've got a hell of a lot more discipline than I do. Your kids owe you.

I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.

> If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.

Not sure what kind of beings you're raising but my experience with three kids is that it gets progressively harder until around 5 and stays stable until 13 and gets much harder from there.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#108

Post by 171243 »

OJFord wrote: post #85
teh_klev wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I get up at 5am to start getting the kids up and ready for school I don't mean to pry or be cheeky or sound judgemental, but how many kids do you have that it takes 3-4 hours to get them all breakfasted and ready for school? And is school far away or just a 10-15 min drive? What are you doing during that time? I know kids can consume a lot of attention in the morning (especially the elementary lot), but that amount…

Well, plural children in three categories of school (so 6+) was what caught my eye!

I actually went and read part of there post history and

    "My wife lost the diamond in her wedding ring and we were talking about getting it replaced. I have two daughters in their early 20s and they were aghast at the idea..."
So make that 8+!

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#109

Post by colordrops »

jacobolus wrote: post #106
JohnFen wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I thought the same until I had kids. This sort of thing is part and parcel of having children, you really do learn not only to handle it, but to derive enjoyment from the situation overall. If it helps any, my experience is that it's hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier as the years go by and the children become increasingly self-sufficient.

> hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months…

As a father, support of the mother takes lot more work when she's taking care of newborn than a 3 year old. As a mother, a newborn is certainly a lot more difficult, if not more physically taxing, than a 3 year old. Also, it takes months for the mother to recover from birth trauma.

Re: Slow Mornings May Be a Secret to Tech-Life Balance

#110

Post by jacobolus »

colordrops wrote: post #109
jacobolus wrote: post #106

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> hardest on the day your child is born, but it gets progressively easier A 3-year-old definitely takes a lot more continuous attention than a newborn (assuming the newborn is healthy, eats and sleeps okay, ...). I was able to get some amount of work done while taking care of my first kid up to about age 1. In the two years since then, not so much (I just pray for conveniently timed naps). The second one is 6 months…

As a father, support of the mother takes lot more work when she's taking care of newborn than a 3 year old. As a mother, a newborn is certainly a lot more difficult, if not more physically taxing, than a 3 year old. Also, it takes months for the mother to recover from birth trauma.

This seems to vary from family to family / child to child.

I wouldn’t describe anything (after maybe the birth itself, which I can’t answer about) related to our 6 month old so far as “difficult”. It is only “physically taxing” insofar as it takes a lot of time every day, and alongside other obligations (in particular, the 3-year-old) that leaves everyone a bit sleep deprived. I would say the 3-year-old takes at least twice as much time and 5x as much effort. (The work is stuff like reading books together, building block towers, running around the playground, preparing food, etc. Nothing especially challenging by itself.)

My wife gets burned out pretty quickly when I leave her with both kids on the weekend for most of a day. She’s generally relieved to get back to the office on Monday and leave them to me. :-)

Post reply on HN