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How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

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Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#101

Post by hos234 »

wallacoloo wrote: post #68
_8j50 wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't know what you don't know. Those questions merely isolate you in a bubble. They prevent you from discovering the uncomfortable different which might actually be exactly what you need.

It cuts both ways though. You only have so much time you’ll spend socializing. In a lifetime you’ll meet maybe 0.001% of the people you possibly could have. If you aren’t discerning with who you give your time to, you’ll miss out on more and more of what could have been better relationships. It’s easiest demonstrated at large events or parties: there might be 200 people you could meet, and you have 3 hours there. If…

Optimization problems are for robots, not human beings.

Be a good human. And you will attract good humans.

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#102

Post by [deleted] »

kaitai wrote: post #98
Mountain_Skies wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Universal inclusion has risen to the level of religion. You can't join such a club because if your membership is discovered, your employer will be pressured to fire you regardless of how mundane the club.

I don't think this is true. The sibling comment is about Freemasons, but you can join Toastmasters, the Rotary Club, and any number of other social & community groups with no negative consequences (and even positive ones!). What are you thinking about when you make this statement?

[deleted]

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#103

Post by bhl »

sjg007 wrote: post #79
mcguire wrote: post #21

" ...especially in the Bay Area. ... But there's a palpable lack of social fabric. I worry that this atomization is becoming a world-wide phenomenon – that we might be some of the first generations without the sort of community that it's in human nature to rely on. " Are we talking about a general problem, or about a group of 20-somethings who grew up with families, went to college where they had a lot of free time w…

The most lonely are old people I think.. but the ones that live in senior housing tend to do a lot better. Kids in college also do well since they are among their peers.. One idea to push this forward is mixed use housing. Parents want to find other parents so their kids can play. Teenagers likewise. So you need all ages in your little "village".

Kids in college are also lonely; I go to a school with a relatively large undergraduate populations. The result is that many people have trouble finding friends given that interactions are less frequent. Dorms and free time do help, but in the first week there were a lot of posts asking others on how they made their friends.

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#104

Post by lifeisstillgood »

jborichevskiy wrote: post #95
lifeisstillgood wrote: post #37

In my twenties I tried (a couple of times but not really tried) to live in communes / large houses of more than 12 people It worked ok ish most of the time but I honestly think it is a significant part of the answer - as cities become more crowded just chucking people together to work it out has many positive benefits - child care sharing is easier at some life stages, meeting others, community activism and so on all…

Out of curiosity what made it ok-ish? What were the biggest pain points? I've been tempted to try it myself.

Housing costs - it's expensive finding that big a location and weirdly there is a sort of flip point (in London) where more people stopped reducing the delta cost per person if that makes sense

moving from "just house mates" to "we need some rules as a community" starts all sorts of "oh I don't know if I really want to think of it this way" - and the sort of people who really want to be in a commune with rules turn out to be the sort of people you would not want to have ... earnest and unemployed (see housing cost)

I think "house mates" is a good level to live at - probably for most life stages to be honest.

And we could easily redefine a village (cluster of cave dwellings / Skara Brae / babylonian houses) to be the same house - it was for many ages for many parts of the world one thing we could call a structure

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#105

Post by mikekchar »

dominotw wrote: post #96
astrofinch wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I'm now in a complex where we all hang out in the parking lot most afternoons. Sounds like you have something rare and valuable. Anyway, you make good points. From the point of view of society's health, it's good to create connections between people of different points of view, and this project could end up being harmful if it cloisters likeminded folks together. I would guess that many of the properties listed (suc…

i want to live in such a complex too. I live in a mexican neighborhood and I see them talking to each other on the street but my spanish is bad to follow the conversation at their speed.

Just keep at it! When I first moved to Japan, I couldn't have a good conversation with anyone. I eventually met a young woman with Downes syndrome and she kindly chatted with me every time she met me. It was such a huge help! There was an older woman who would see me gardening in containers and come over to give me advice. I couldn't follow what she was saying at all, but she kept coming over and chatting anyway. I kept going in to corner stores and chatting with the staff -- nothing too long. Just a few sentences each time. I went every single day (even now, I know all the staff of every convenience store in town!) Eventually your language gets better and better and better. There is always someone who is lonely, or kind who you can chat to :-) Just keep smiling. Keep making contact. Say hello to everyone you meet. Every day try to have a short conversation with someone. You'll eventually find people who will be happy to chat with you in Spanish.

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#106

Post by jogjayr »

slang800 wrote: post #57
dagnysdildo wrote: post #17

If you're lonely, adopt a dog from your local animal shelter. A cat is fine, too.

Pets are not a replacement for human interaction.

I've noticed that I have far more conversations with strangers when I'm out walking my dog than when I'm out by myself. I've also made acquaintances with the regulars at the dog park. Pets aren't a replacement for human interaction, but they can help facilitate it.

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#107

Post by _xnmw »

javert wrote: post #15
geargrinder wrote: post #13

John Vervaeke - Awakening from the Meaning Crisis https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLND1JCRq8Vuh3f0P5qjrS...

It would be helpful to actually give a short explanation of what you are linking to, rather than a bare link with the title.

The Meaning Crisis is John Vervaeke’s term for the Western breakdown in religion, community, family, and ultimately a “meaningful life”, which he traces back to various uniquely Western historical factors. It’s not just an analysis, however, as he makes a heroic attempt to reassemble what was lost with religion, without religion.

Really profound lecture series. Opens your eyes to what we’ve actually lost in the modern world.

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#109

Post by joey_bob »

_8j50 wrote: post #59
jrumbut wrote: post #22

Something that goes unquestioned in this article is that you want to live with people who are like you down to the same taste in video games. I find this not to be true for me, and that I find it easiest to live with people that are different enough that you end up needing to use kindness to relate to each other. After having felt isolated in my previous living situations, I'm now in a complex where we all hang out i…

Sometimes? How about almost always! The whole "loneliness epidemic" is a result of people stuck in bubbles with other people like them. Being compatible and being alike are not synonymous. What people will admit they like and what they truly like are not always the same thing either. Think about it,why would someone like your own self make for good companionship? You already have your lonely self,why would more of wh…

Can you think of a significant stretch of time, before the advent of the loneliness epidemic, when people were any less stuck in their bubbles? Unless we've only just discovered loneliness, there can't be much of a correlation between loneliness and bubbliness.

I think your argument about symmetrically different people being compatible is probably accurate, but this points to happiness in the bubble. A bubble is really a collection of people who perceive the world with the same basis, more so than share all the same opinions. Since the bubble shares a basis, there is more likely to be people in that bubble that are truly symmetric to you on the substituent axes of the bubble's basis, than say a person in any other bubble.

There is an underlying assumption to my argument, that opinions within the bubble are somewhat uniformly distributed along each axis, but this has been the majority case in any bubble I've been in.

Re: How to Make Billions of Dollars Reducing Loneliness

#110

Post by _8j50 »

joey_bob wrote: post #109
_8j50 wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes? How about almost always! The whole "loneliness epidemic" is a result of people stuck in bubbles with other people like them. Being compatible and being alike are not synonymous. What people will admit they like and what they truly like are not always the same thing either. Think about it,why would someone like your own self make for good companionship? You already have your lonely self,why would more of wh…

Can you think of a significant stretch of time, before the advent of the loneliness epidemic, when people were any less stuck in their bubbles? Unless we've only just discovered loneliness, there can't be much of a correlation between loneliness and bubbliness. I think your argument about symmetrically different people being compatible is probably accurate, but this points to happiness in the bubble. A bubble is real…

I mean certainly a bubble in some form is always present and it always causes societal issues. It just happens to be more precise and effective at isolating you thanks to modern tech.

Before the internet, you exhaust the pool of available people pretty fast due to difficilty of communication. If you want to talk to someone you had to know their phone numbet and you may not know much about them outside of hear-say. Your bubble maybe the area you live in and the activities you enage in but discovering new people meant having to spend a significant amount of time in person interacting with someone. You may know they live somewhat within your bubble you don't get to message them for a while and checkout their various social media profiles.

I think of "Sienfeld",even thou they exaggerate a bit on that show,all the people they meet,date,work with are all within the same social bubble. But they still had to go on dates or interact with people in person before getting to write them off. If that was today, George Costanza would hardly get a tinder match and even then he'd write off those women after a message or two. Or he may use a more bubbled app.

I am just saying communication has gotten a lot easier which allowed us to build better bubbles. Loneliness isn't new but the effectiveness of our bubbles are much better than in the past.

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