Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September • Hacker News Board

Re: Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September

#101

Post by monktastic1 » Sun, Nov 05, 2017, 1:53 PM UTC

sdoering wrote: post #94

perseusprime11 wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I once tried to engage in a ‘Deepak Chopra’ way and asked if the person (15-17 year kid) needed any help, and started offering unsolicited advice about staying calm and being friendly to people. The situation escalated pretty quickly to the point he went crazy on the entire subway car and started using profanity against anyone who even looked at him. Note to myself: don’t engage. World is not the same as what you see…

I am generally on your side of the argument. Non the less. There is this voice inside my head that asks, if by not countering such antisocial behaviour we send the signal that this behaviour actually is ok. When people learn that they get what they want by acting as assholes, why should they change? In Germany we had a saying that it takes a whole village to raise a child. But these days if you tell a anti-social kid…

If the group on the train could band together, show the kid some love, and actually help him, that would be amazing. Unfortunately, "countering" behavior in these situations often involves a kind of adversarial mentality that just pushes the real problem deeper. The same action taken out of love versus enmity can lead to vastly different outcomes.

Re: Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September

#102

Post by rospaya » Sun, Nov 05, 2017, 7:07 PM UTC

brndnmtthws wrote: post #2

This is great. People everywhere I go are incredibly friendly, especially in New York. It's always fun to take a moment, act like a human, and talk to people. Not because you want to sell them anything or buy something, but simply because being social is part of being human. One of the things that bothers me about individual automobile travel is how isolating it is. I want to interact with people and experience local…

> It's always fun to take a moment, act like a human, and talk to people.

I find this very American behaviour. Talking to strangers (unless in a social event) is considered weird and not socially acceptable in large parts of Europe.

In 20+ years of daily public transport usage, I've had maybe a dozen interactions with random people on trams and busses outside of standard "where does this line go" or "is this your stop" conversations.

Re: Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September

#103

Post by xelxebar » Mon, Nov 06, 2017, 1:13 AM UTC

brndnmtthws wrote: post #2

This is great. People everywhere I go are incredibly friendly, especially in New York. It's always fun to take a moment, act like a human, and talk to people. Not because you want to sell them anything or buy something, but simply because being social is part of being human. One of the things that bothers me about individual automobile travel is how isolating it is. I want to interact with people and experience local…

I live in Tokyo and have done this quite a bit, but it makes me feel like such a Gaijin that I don't do it anymore.

出る杭は打たれる The nail that sticks out gets hit.

Maybe that sentiment has sunk in. Perhaps loneliness is a pervasive feature of living in a big city.

Re: Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September

#104

Post by Spooky23 » Mon, Nov 06, 2017, 1:32 AM UTC

neom wrote: post #80

Spooky23 wrote: post #47

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you live in NYC? Spend actual time in the subway? How long?

Depends on how fucked up the subway is and what line you're taking, some days it's an hour a day, some days it's 2 hours a day, but I never spend more than 2 hours a day on it.

I used to spend quality time going from Forest Hills to various Manhattan destinations. It worked just fine, but wasn’t some idealized gathering place for humanity.

Re: Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September

#105

Post by Theodores » Mon, Nov 06, 2017, 8:33 AM UTC

notl4wy3r wrote: post #100

Theodores wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Another reason to go Zen is that it does not get you there quickly if you go all confrontational on someone. As a cyclist I never get into altercations but others do. I wonder how it will work out for them the next day when the road has to be shared again.

One time I was biking behind a man who flipped off a pickup truck after it did something inconsiderate on the road. Then driver of the truck tried to ram him and almost succeeded. That really brought home to me that there are contexts where expressing your anger can be really counter productive, no matter how justified it is.

Yes actually that was kind of how I learned, a van driver angry at me cutting up a learner driver. I had merely scooted down the inside of the learner driver's car at the lights, but I had actively thought beforehand about whether to do so and I thought it better the driver cope with real world cyclists and we do get to the 'bike box' at the front (UK roads).

So van driver took offence and chased me at high speed down a dual carriageway and on the bike/pedestrian path. I had to swap to the fast lane to get traffic between myself and the van, plus I pulled a calf muscle and had to put my feet up for a fortnight. Oh, I also had to take a different route to work.

I hadn't been the one with 'road rage', however I was riding quickly and I had put myself before a more needy road user when I could have held back. Why Mr Van Driver decided to boil over about it I will never know, but he had quite a posse in the van and they were having great fun throwing things at me. Maybe they routinely got a kick out of beating up cyclists, making a sport of it.

It is extraordinary what moves you consider safe to make on a bicycle in fast moving traffic when there is a van trying to kill you. The game of 'Frogger' seemed to offer greater life expectancy.

Having seen the darkside of confrontation I really saw no reason why anyone would want to do anything at all that could incite a genuine road rage incident such as what I had been subjected to. Absolute terror, but at the same time extremely thrilling as I did manage to deftly manoeuvre my bike to get bollards or vehicles between myself and the van of doom in ways you really need the adrenaline for.

Incidentally I escaped by doing a last minute 'cyclist only move' at a roundabout - a sharp right going against traffic to enter an industrial park. I took a few moments to collect myself and gingerly made my journey to work to find myself there very early!

Re: Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September

#106

Post by khedoros1 » Mon, Nov 06, 2017, 11:43 PM UTC

dionidium wrote: post #90

khedoros1 wrote: post #89

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which is too bad. Using Japanese trains was wonderful (we specifically avoided traveling during the height of rush hour, though). It what I picture when I'm trying to think positively about using public transit.

You're focusing on the trains , but it's really the culture that's different, and that extends to all kinds of things. The trains are just one example. But that's why there's no usable information here. We don't have the Japanese culture, so we're not going to get their trains.

I was commenting on the fact that "no city in the States will ever be anything like any city in Japan", using the trains as an example of why I'd say that. I could've just as easily mentioned other aspects of that country that I found pleasant, but trains like a good focus, since that's what the whole post is about.

Re: Who’s Sitting Next to You on the Subway? An R Train in September

#107

Post by therealdrag0 » Wed, Nov 08, 2017, 7:53 PM UTC

advertising wrote: post #44

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Reminds me of the book "Up in the Old Hotel?".

[0] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/210783.Up_in_the_Old_Hot...