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Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

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Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#101

Post by linkregister »

JackFr wrote: post #50
SCAQTony wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If we further subsidized child-bearing we would have fewer abortions which for my personal socio-economic beliefs (YMMV) would be a great thing but would the right wing allow that? NO! — Ironic, huh?

Among those who really see abortion as a compelling issue many are pretty far left on immigration, national defense, capital punishment and social welfare programs. They find themselves stuck in a right wing they're not terribly comfortable in because they were drummed out of the Democratic Party, through its doctrinaire insistence on the abortion license.

You see this especially strongly in the Catholic community; abortion is almost universally condemned, while the rest of the issues you mentioned are supported. Catholics also traditionally aligned with the Democratic Party (Democratic-Republicans). While you can find a small minority of Democratic politicians who identify as anti-abortion, they typically aren't active about it.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#102

Post by dragonwriter »

linkregister wrote: post #101
JackFr wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Among those who really see abortion as a compelling issue many are pretty far left on immigration, national defense, capital punishment and social welfare programs. They find themselves stuck in a right wing they're not terribly comfortable in because they were drummed out of the Democratic Party, through its doctrinaire insistence on the abortion license.

You see this especially strongly in the Catholic community; abortion is almost universally condemned, while the rest of the issues you mentioned are supported. Catholics also traditionally aligned with the Democratic Party (Democratic-Republicans). While you can find a small minority of Democratic politicians who identify as anti-abortion, they typically aren't active about it.

> You see this especially strongly in the Catholic community; abortion is almost universally condemned

This actually isn't true; while abortion (both the act and its legality) are condemned in strong terms by the Catholic hierarchy, opinion polling has consistently shown the US Catholic community has roughly the same distribution of views on abortion and its legality as the general public.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#103

Post by Dirlewanger »

phkahler wrote: post #41
a2tech wrote: post #24

My friends with children after they've had a few drinks have all told my wife and I to not have children. I know this is a small selection of college educated people with comfortable lifestyles, but when every single person I know discloses to me when they're in a truthful state that we're better off not having kids..it makes you think.

>> My friends with children after they've had a few drinks have all told my wife and I to not have children. Because getting out to have drinks with friends becomes so rare. In that moment, you are fulfilling one of their social needs that has been so neglected it seems like the only thing that matters. What they're really saying is that by not having children you'll be able to continue as you are right then. Take it…

>What they're really saying is that by not having children...

Maybe they're actually saying not to have children. I don't understand all the projection.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#104

Post by linkregister »

ams6110 wrote: post #87
inanutshellus wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It seems there's no "bright" side. There are some stay-at-home moms in my wife's family and they were... defensive... when my wife went back to work. So either way, you find a way to be resentful or ashamed. Go back to work and miss your child's first steps/words/laughs. Go back to work and someone else raises your children. Someone else uses your child to teach their child how to be a leader. Someone else (accidenta…

tread water financially compared to your dual-income friends Screw that. Don't judge your life by how others live. My newest car is 12 years old. I have a wife, kids, and a good job and could easily have new cars every few years but instead I have no debt other than mortgage and I put the money into my retirement and college savings. I don't begrudge the choices of my friends who like to buy a lot of new things but I…

Clearly you don't live in the Bay Area or you bought in before the house price jump.

Treading water financially is an accurate way to describe life in the Bay Area for families with a stay-at-home parent. The modest standard of living you describe about yourself significantly exceeds what could be expected for the median software developer in the Bay Area. Families with incomes below that would not be able to sustain their cash flow without a commute that exceeds 90 minutes or exposes them to unacceptably high levels of crime.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#105

Post by markc »

Dirlewanger wrote: post #39

Not a surprise. Ann Landers asked back in the 70s: If you could do it all over again, would you have kids again? Something like 3/4 said no.

I've often wondered if this response really means "I regret having children, it was a mistake" OR "I've now experienced the path of having children. Even though it was good, I'd like to experience that other path".

They should have asked people without kids "If you could do it all over again, would you have kids this time"?

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#106

Post by phkahler »

Dirlewanger wrote: post #103
phkahler wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> My friends with children after they've had a few drinks have all told my wife and I to not have children. Because getting out to have drinks with friends becomes so rare. In that moment, you are fulfilling one of their social needs that has been so neglected it seems like the only thing that matters. What they're really saying is that by not having children you'll be able to continue as you are right then. Take it…

>What they're really saying is that by not having children... Maybe they're actually saying not to have children . I don't understand all the projection.

>> Maybe they're actually saying not to have children. I don't understand all the projection.

Thanks, I like your response. I thought I was just offering an alternative interpretation for why they said it, but maybe I need to get out more with friends ;-) OTOH I do not regret having children, nor do I advocate that people avoid having them.

Note to self, consider weather speculation is actually projection.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#107

Post by JackFr »

dragonwriter wrote: post #102
linkregister wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You see this especially strongly in the Catholic community; abortion is almost universally condemned, while the rest of the issues you mentioned are supported. Catholics also traditionally aligned with the Democratic Party (Democratic-Republicans). While you can find a small minority of Democratic politicians who identify as anti-abortion, they typically aren't active about it.

> You see this especially strongly in the Catholic community; abortion is almost universally condemned This actually isn't true; while abortion (both the act and its legality) are condemned in strong terms by the Catholic hierarchy , opinion polling has consistently shown the US Catholic community has roughly the same distribution of views on abortion and its legality as the general public.

Splitting hairs, but when Quinnipiac broke out Catholics who were weekly communicants as opposed to merely 'identifying', there were significant differences.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#108

Post by dragonwriter »

JackFr wrote: post #107
dragonwriter wrote: post #102

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You see this especially strongly in the Catholic community; abortion is almost universally condemned This actually isn't true; while abortion (both the act and its legality) are condemned in strong terms by the Catholic hierarchy , opinion polling has consistently shown the US Catholic community has roughly the same distribution of views on abortion and its legality as the general public.

Splitting hairs, but when Quinnipiac broke out Catholics who were weekly communicants as opposed to merely 'identifying', there were significant differences.

> Splitting hairs, but when Quinnipiac broke out Catholics who were weekly communicants as opposed to merely 'identifying', there were significant differences.

Further splitting hairs, what they actual broke down was weekly Mass attenders vs. others, not weekly communicants. Those aren't the same thing.

But, yes, unsurprisingly, adherence to authority on the one point correlates with adherence to authority on the other.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#109

Post by jpm_sd »

My wife is incredibly fortunate to work for a federal agency that allows flexible part time schedules (20-30 hr/wk) on projects that she finds interesting. We have three children (3, 4 and 6 yr old) and while we are spending her entire income on child care, it's a good investment in her future employment (and sanity).

I wish part time work were a good option for more people.

Re: Research suggests many US parents will lie when saying kids made them happier

#110

Post by ajmurmann »

kgwgk wrote: post #95
ajmurmann wrote: post #70

I think the stress and financial cost that having children in the US creates are much larger than in other western countries. I currently don't have children and would not think of moving back to my home country Germany. However, if I had children I would be back in Germany in no time. The entire education system is on average more reliably good and much cheaper.

I don't know if the situation is worse in the US, but people is clearly more averse to having children in Germany: http://www.oecd-ilibrary.org/sites/soc_glance-2014-en/03/02/...

Birth rates are definitely some of the lowest on the world in Germany. However, I think that has more to do with how important having family is seen. I also believe that the country being much less religious has to do with it as well.
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