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All the lonely people

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Re: All the lonely people

#101

Post by AndrewKemendo »

colanderman wrote: post #40
AndrewKemendo wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, this is a great point that I bring up frequently. Even though I don't participate in churches I do think there is a real value in the communities they create. The challenge is, is it possible to create such a community without it being around something like a religion or cult? Sports (either watching or doing) are the closest thing I can think of but that takes a certain type of personality.

Universal Unitarianism is pretty close to this. It is non-creedal (you don't have to believe in anything) and very community-oriented.

We as a family have tried going to a UU church, but it was so much like any protestant church that it felt just the same. Beyond that, there was little that we connected with the other congregants on.

Some people obviously make it work, but I don't know if just mimicking church with secular ideas is a winning solution.

I think it's just one of those things that families/individuals have to work out for themselves.

Re: All the lonely people

#102

Post by mirimir »

PhasmaFelis wrote: post #93
colanderman wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Universal Unitarianism is pretty close to this. It is non-creedal (you don't have to believe in anything) and very community-oriented.

That's Unitarian Universalism, for the benefit of anyone trying to Google it. :) But yeah, UU seems like a really solid substitute for the traditional religious community. Shame it isn't more popular.

They meet on Sundays to hear presentations from each other :)

Re: All the lonely people

#103

Post by slededit »

nojvek wrote: post #54
branchless wrote: post #3

I don't know Canada well enough yet, but I can tell you what life used to be like in the UK in my mum's time as a kid, around 55 years back in the North East of England. All families lived near each other and you lived near your school. You'd walk home past your nan's house and stop in there or at your uncles. Maybe when you got home your mum was out at the shops - ok go to your nan's a few yards away. Or just go to…

I sometimes do worry about that. If banks didn't create mortgages, would houses be more affordable. It's obscene that I will give half of my life's income to the bank to pay off my mortgage.

People need places to live, so absolutely there would still be houses. Perhaps not as many of the more expensive housing stock with hardwood floors and granite counter tops.

The evidence of this is the very strong inverse correlation between interest rates and housing prices.

Re: All the lonely people

#104

Post by jcrei »

jkaljundi wrote: post #97
abraham_s wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Strangers greeting me on the street was a culture shock when I moved from India to US (to Salt Lake City,UT). Often my brain won't process it in time to return the greeting before the person has passed me. Sometimes I will bungle the reply (saying "same to you" in reply to "Good Morning") or just smile in return or nod. If you have greeted someone on the street and hasn't gotten any response back, please don't take i…

This is how and Estonian or a Finn would feel: http://finnishnightmares.blogspot.com/

I tried for a few months when I first arrived in Estonia. I got mixed reactions and was about to give up, but then my neighbours were the ones greeting me. I have since made a point of greeting any neighbour I meet in my building.

Re: All the lonely people

#105

Post by dazc »

smelendez wrote: post #41
mrcsparker wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Keep greeting them - they will come around. I am from the US South and not saying hello (or waving when they pass by) is considered bad manners. I have done this all my life and people have told me that they like it when someone says "good morning" with a smile. Maybe I am lucky or biased, but I don't care. I like it when people are nice and I treat people the way that I want to be treated. I sometimes have to spend…

One problem in New York is that the vast majority of people who try to talk to you on the street want something--they're selling something, canvassing for a candidate, begging, creepily flirting or running a scam--and another big segment are under the influence or mentally ill. Usually the best case is a lost tourist asking for directions. The worst case, that everyone's aware of, is someone trying to get you to stop…

Common occurrence in the UK now is for some sob story about needing bus fare/train fare etc. It is surprising how many people fall for it though.

Re: All the lonely people

#106

Post by ddt_Osprey »

tomcam wrote: post #39
losteric wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't help but remember Calhoun's utopia experiment: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/how-mouse-utopias-1...

Counterintuitive, amazing, horrifying. Everyone should read about this experiment. I would love to know if it has been re-created.

If you like that, you'll love this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pit_of_despair

Re: All the lonely people

#107

Post by mirimir »

aaron695 wrote: post #95
sverige wrote: post #72

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you doubt that the reporting is accurate? I don't. It's very believable to me that people would ignore some disturbance outside in a suburban neighborhood. Granted, this is an anecdote that illustrates one of the stranger aspects of isolation, and probably wouldn't happen everywhere, but I think that's the point: in some places, absolutely no one will help you. So, to say it's a lie without any evidence to the con…

> So, to say it's a lie without any evidence to the contrary is unconstructive. Sorry, it is of course a lie. You shouldn't need evidence. If you think this sort of thing happens you are a very very broken human being. 'You' are the actual problem, because the people in these stories are not real. But people who believe these stories are. I shouldn't need to link evidence but I will in the hope that perhaps the truly…

What's your point?

The story that you've linked to tells basically the same story as The Observer article does. It does close with:

> Mr. Fisher believes his neighbours would have helped Ms. Chiu, had they known what was happening, and may simply have not heard her cries for help. "I don't like to believe that people heard her and did nothing."

But that's not evidence.

Re: All the lonely people

#108

Post by dazc »

branchless wrote: post #3

I don't know Canada well enough yet, but I can tell you what life used to be like in the UK in my mum's time as a kid, around 55 years back in the North East of England. All families lived near each other and you lived near your school. You'd walk home past your nan's house and stop in there or at your uncles. Maybe when you got home your mum was out at the shops - ok go to your nan's a few yards away. Or just go to…

A lot of what you say resonates with my experience but...

'Then people decided that housing was an asset, an investment. The people that decided this were in finance...'

I can remember when the obsession with house prices began and I'm not sure those in finance were entirely to blame for this?

I live in Spain at the moment and it's interesting how people seem to be much happier, partly because they are not (in general) obsessed with the monetary value of their homes.

Re: All the lonely people

#109

Post by Broken_Hippo »

abraham_s wrote: post #80
ChuckMcM wrote: post #2

Again, something my grandfather taught me, was that it was important to walk around your neighborhood and say "hi" to the people who lived there. He called it "Being neighborly." We also, periodically but not on a particular schedule, put together a block BBQ where people can bring food, or not, and share a moment together to talk about what is going in or what they are worried about etc. Generally people respond wel…

Strangers greeting me on the street was a culture shock when I moved from India to US (to Salt Lake City,UT). Often my brain won't process it in time to return the greeting before the person has passed me. Sometimes I will bungle the reply (saying "same to you" in reply to "Good Morning") or just smile in return or nod. If you have greeted someone on the street and hasn't gotten any response back, please don't take i…

I had the opposite upon moving from the US to Norway. In a way, I find it a relief - I'm not rude for simply listening to music while I walk, nor am I expected to check the bus to see if I know someone there (lest they be hurt that I shunned them by not saying hello). On the other hand, I got a great deal of my communication needs met by random conversations at gas stations and stores I went to regularly and actually meeting folks has been a challenge.

Re: All the lonely people

#110

Post by Legogris »

hueving wrote: post #78
ThrustVectoring wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a large part of why I'm into social dancing.

Is there such a thing as anti-social dancing?

Ever been to a psytrance rave? Lots of people are go there with minimum social interaction and are there purely for dancing to the music in their on bubble.
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