Many of the posts have to do with the expectations of business, society, etc. Maybe we parents have something to do with it too. I should be happy. I'm educated, have interesting and rewarding work to do, have a roof over my head, and get to play music on the side. I've got two great kids, who are both smarter than me. What's wrong with that? Why should I be neurotic about success? Why should push myself and my kids…
This attitude (which I hear all the time, not just from you) reminds me of what's been going on in East Asia for decades now: the ultra pressure cooker life-defining once-a-year college entrance exam system and the accompanying high pressure studying environment preceding it (and much like in SV, students do kill themselves from stress). Students in these countries (Japan, Korea, and Taiwan in particular from what I can tell -- not so sure about China) are pushed so hard because frankly it is correct that the college you go to largely defines your QoL for the rest of your life (more so if you are in the humanities vs engineering).
You often work at a corporation for life, and they take the vast majority of employees as new grads. The best corporations often have cutoffs based on the school you attend. Online registration sites for recruiting info sessions will show up as full if you say you attend a mediocre college, but will show up as having seats open if you say you attend the University of Tokyo.
Whether this perception of what I call the "scarcity of success" for students is real or not in the States, I frankly do not know. But I like to say that perception is the reality by which you live. If this is the perception that parents have, then their behavior in response to this perception is logical. They behave this way because they truly want the best for their children (Tiger mom behavior and Asian immigrant parents driving their children towards stable high paying professions like medicine is a direct result of their own struggles as immigrants and lack of clarity into their future financial stability).
Also,
From article: "Many college students struggle with critical thinking, a fact that hasn’t escaped their professors"
From parent: "Another thing I've noticed is that the school curriculum is more intensive and consuming, but not necessarily more advanced.
I used to be quite creative in elementary school. Loved to draw, tinker with electronics, make stuff, etc. But then I "woke up" in middle school and for the first time in my life learned to study, extremely hard. I went to a private school in Silicon Valley that (according to a recent thread in my alma mater's mailing list) was described by one parent as "[being] somewhat notorious for pushing the kids too hard." I had 6 hours of homework every day (100% of it was rote drills as parent says), after 2-3 hours of sports and extra curriculars, every day. I did this for 6 years, 7th through 12th grade. I graduated near the top of my class and was accepted into one of the best colleges in the country. I largely continued this behavior in college.
At one moment of clarity in my mid 20's, I realized that I had lost the creativity that I once possessed. I excel at figuring out how to optimize and perform in a defined system. I am now quite terrible at thinking outside of predefined problems. Looking back now, I realize that I would have made quite a good banker or management consultant (which is where most of my peers ended up after college).
I think this is related to the article saying:
Many college students struggle with critical thinking, a fact that hasn’t escaped their professors