The main problem of online dating is that men usually are looking for sex while women for long-term relationships. Add to that the fact that in most dating sites the analogy of men to women is at least 3 to 1 and you realize pretty soon that it's a lose-lose game for most people.
How to Make Online Dating Work
11–20 of 49 posts
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#12[deleted]
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#13The main problem of online dating is that men usually are looking for sex while women for long-term relationships. Add to that the fact that in most dating sites the analogy of men to women is at least 3 to 1 and you realize pretty soon that it's a lose-lose game for most people.
> The main problem of online dating is that men usually are looking for sex while women for long-term relationships.
I don't think this is the actual problem. I believe it's often a problem that people either don't know what they want, or they are willing to accept less in the short term than what they want in the long term (which leads to terrible relationships more often than not).
There are also plenty of people, both male and female, who just want short term sex but firmly believe that they should throw up a charade in order to get it.
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#14This article reads a lot different if you look at the authors first.
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#15A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. ;)
Do not go on a date with anyone with the on-line handle "Kobayashi Maru".
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#16Some problems aren't really solvable. All you can do is move the suckiness around. Here's the problem: attraction is highly asymmetric. Many are attracted to few. Shrink a pool of heterosexual individuals to a pool to 3 men and 3 women -- the outcomes will still be asymmetric, with the majority of participants not getting who they preferred. No scheme, no twist, no app, no idea can change this, until the cyberpunk vi…
...until the cyberpunk vision of affordable beauty is a reality.
That vision is here - it's called eat right, exercise and act like a man/woman.
The outcomes will be asymmetric but the inequality will be lower. The current situation is tall hairy muscular guy dating pretty skinny blonde, while short fat bald guy is lucky to get fat brunette ugly girl. The delta in utility between the latter couple and the former could be massive.
If everyone improved themselves you'd have short bald confident ball of muscle dating hot brunette butterface. Asymmetric, but the delta is pretty small.
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#17Some problems aren't really solvable. All you can do is move the suckiness around. Here's the problem: attraction is highly asymmetric. Many are attracted to few. Shrink a pool of heterosexual individuals to a pool to 3 men and 3 women -- the outcomes will still be asymmetric, with the majority of participants not getting who they preferred. No scheme, no twist, no app, no idea can change this, until the cyberpunk vi…
...until the cyberpunk vision of affordable beauty is a reality. That vision is here - it's called eat right, exercise and act like a man/woman. The outcomes will be asymmetric but the inequality will be lower. The current situation is tall hairy muscular guy dating pretty skinny blonde, while short fat bald guy is lucky to get fat brunette ugly girl. The delta in utility between the latter couple and the former coul…
Sure, I agree that individuals can improve their outcomes through looking after themselves -- I already do that and it's made a remarkable difference. It's the advice I give everyone.
The cyberpunk concept went further, though. Cheap, flawless, scarless cosmetic surgery. Tissue remodelling. Gene editing. It was a reflection on the 80s, when cosmetic surgery was in its optimistic dawn.
Taking the short bald confident ball of muscle and turning him into a tall, striking slab of muscle, dating the brunette with cheekbones that could shave wood. A world of meandering, alienated beauties. That's part of what cyberpunk was exploring.
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#18The main problem of online dating is that men usually are looking for sex while women for long-term relationships. Add to that the fact that in most dating sites the analogy of men to women is at least 3 to 1 and you realize pretty soon that it's a lose-lose game for most people.
> Add to that the fact that in most dating sites the analogy of men to women is at least 3 to 1
I've never actually seen this proven. Did you scrape profiles? OkC staff have repeatedly claimed that the ratio is around 50/50 for major metro areas:
http://cdn.okcimg.com/blog/older_lover/Age-Distribution-With...
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-male-female-ratio-on-big-f...
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#19The main problem of online dating is that men usually are looking for sex while women for long-term relationships. Add to that the fact that in most dating sites the analogy of men to women is at least 3 to 1 and you realize pretty soon that it's a lose-lose game for most people.
Any evidence that the "men looking for sex / women for LTR" hypothesis, to the extent it is true, is more prevalent in online dating, as opposed to dating in general? I think it mostly comes down to anonymity and low cost of rejection. Men online are just less embarrassed to express thoughts and desires that they wouldn't to a dating prospect that is, say, friend of a friend due to the increased social cost of coming off as a creep.
Re: How to Make Online Dating Work
#20There's no science of attraction, once you realize that the whole thing is easier. Who "rocks your world" will be defined by a very complex and impossible to control set of interactions.
Remember both sides (you and the other) like to have a fantasy to invest in. Leave room for the fantasy, be a little daring and a little assertive, do not self sabotage, emphasize your value as a mate so that your partner will be able to emphasize it to themselves and their friends. Hopefully you will see something in your counterpart, if you do, don't go out of your way to snuff it out - instead invest in it - what's wrong with focusing on his/her eyes and not her ears?
On the other hand, neither side likes a jerk, don't be horrid, don't be rude, be kind, be sensible, be gentle.
Don't quite be yourself, but mostly be yourself. Be the self you wish you were - the movie version of yourself crossed with your mothers version of yourself.
Then - see what happens.