Ask HN: I Have Cancer. What Should I Do?

I'm sorry to hear this. Cancer is awful. Best wishes.

I feel horrible about joining a young business as an albatross instead of an asset.

Don't. It's not your fault. You don't even know that you're going to have any effect on their premiums and even if that happens, it's going to be a small effect in comparison to everything else that startups have to deal with.

If I start at my new job I'm afraid I will endanger the business and raise everybody's premiums.

Don't worry about that. You shouldn't feel guilty about anything... unless you're a health insurance lobbyist or executive or a legislator who fought healthcare reform, which you're obviously not.

Just focus on getting well and giving the people around you, your job, and most importantly, yourself, your best. Seriously, fuck everything else. This is your life.

Besides, an 18-person company that can't survive one employee getting cancer (and I suspect that it can) is a company that doesn't deserve to stay in business.

So: take the job, get covered, and work when you can.

I left my old job on good terms but have no idea how they could justify re-hiring an employee who left and may not be productive / able to work.

You'll be able to work, although not at 100%. It's not like life stops when you undergo chemo or radiation. Yes, those therapies are brutal (my mother had cancer, twice) and you'll probably need to take a few days off for each one, but you can still be productive some of the time.

Let's say that you need 6 cycles of chemotherapy (over 18 weeks) and that each involves three days during which you can't work. (There's a lot of variation. Some people drive themselves to chemo. Some people need a week to recover. Three days seems to be average, from what I've heard.) That's only 18 sick days. It's nowhere close to a deal breaker.

Focus on getting well. Don't feel guilty because you didn't do anything wrong.

Go on, live life, take the new job, get a biopsy, and if needed, kick cancer's ass. A lot of the crappy things insurance companies would do in the past regarding pre-existing conditions and cancer are now illegal. Your new co-workers should understand that this came out of the blue, and that you'll be doing what you can to work hard, and to beat cancer. You've caught it soon, so there is a good chance that you'll be able to pull through without any problems. Good luck.

If I were in your position I would:

1) Calm down.

2) Gather information. More specifically, if you know a doctor, contact said doctor. If you can't, find a way to meet with a physician as soon as possible and get a second opinion. Get someone to explain to you what this diagnosis means. Explore fully your plan, Cobra, etc.

3) Tell fiancee, family, etc (not in an alarming way). Or not. That is, decide whether you want those closest to you to know. This is very personal and we can't choose for you.

4) Save money

Above all don't panic. The most important step is getting informed on what is happening and what your alternatives are and what options you have.

Perhaps right now you don't see this, but like others have said, you can beat this. Now is the time to act swiftly and gather information. Don't waste time. See a doctor ASAP.

Really sorry to hear that this is happening to you.

First of all, it's good you found it now rather than, say, months from now.

Second and most importantly, focus on taking care of your health first. I once knew someone who had something similar to what you're experiencing. It was lymphoma and he was just about to begin what was a very competitive program.

He was fortunate enough to be able to defer it.

Your health comes first, no matter what. So look hard at all your options (eg. parents, friends, etc) before killing yourself to deliver on someone else's bottom line.

Life's way too short.

In terms of insurance coverage, the only thing that matters is make sure you have coverage. Don't go cancelling or changing coverage at this point -- especially to the benefit of the employer. Now that you have a known/likely diagnosis, no insurance will want to touch you.

Be sure you don't let your insurance lapse. Go on COBRA if you have to until your new policy is in force. If you let coverage lapse more than about 30 days you are more likely be hit with a pre-existing condition exclusion.

You say fiance; if you are not actually married her plan may not cover you? Unless they cover "domestic partners" not actually married (some will, some won't).

Anyway, manage the insurance situation. This sort of thing (unexpected, and potentially costly) is EXACTLY what insurance is for. Much more so than birth control or annual checkups which are entirely predictable expenses. Don't feel guilty about using it for what it's meant for.

Take the job, it will keep your mind busy on something besides your health. You're not contagious; you are not endangering anyone by going to work.